Explain to them how to play chess ( not in a super detailed way, you'll just end up annoying them ), start easy so they can understand everything. ( let them win ) Slowly increase the difficulty. Don't be cocky about winning. Also don't send pilk memes, they found it weird the first time so just stop
YOU are annoyed! You want a straight-forward answer to a straight-forward question!
I don't know what advice you are looking for – either you challenge him to engage meaningfully in conversations or you decide that “I don't know” is his answer and let it go. (And that sucks.)
Honestly if this was in the US what your ex's family members did was cyberbullying and harassment. It's finally taken seriously in many parts of the US, and a federal crime. The FBI gets involved.
If it isn't taken seriously in your country, I highly recommend you try to change that because it is needed and you have a good story to tell.
If you love your ex wife you'd leave her alone. Why would you want to destroy her life again? You can't even control yourself. You should cut off the engagement. Why do you keep entering into monogamous relationships is truly beyond me. Just stay single and live in your truth. Be a good dad. Seek mental health care.
Yes , child support comes out automatically. I do buy bday and Xmas gifts and occasionally movie tickets , pizza , snacks. But not too much of daily things.
Absolutely needs to use the FREE reminder setting on his phone. I’m really anxiously waiting on February to see how it goes. I’ll give a single reminder about our budget agreement and then whatever happens happens. I wanna be optimistic. This is the first time I’ve made a budget for us so it’s a new thing. But making something easier shouldn’t result in making things harder.
It sounds like you have caregiver fatigue. Are you in therapy? Can you hire some help? Have you actually done anything to try and alleviate this situation for yourself before jumping to leaving her and breaking your marriage vows?
I don’t really have any advice, but we’ve all heard that statistics of how many men leave their wives when they get sick – so much it’s a trope at this point. You knew she was sick when y’all got married. Personally, I would think less of and distance myself from a friend who left their sick wife, but you do what’s right for you.
I just hope you fully understand the repercussions of your decision. I suggest you get help with caregiving, get therapy, then revisit this convo with a clearer mind.
Have a real conversation about it, tell him you would like to get married by say, 30, and if he’s not ready then you two are just not compatible. It’s not an ultimatum, you’re merely communicate your needs and how you would like to live your life, he’s still free to make his choices. I honestly doubt that if he’s actually against the idea, he would propose and lock himself into marriage just to keep you around.
And both of you should stop it with the idea of ‘surprises’ at least for now, especially as he seems to be using it as an excuse to drag this out. Honestly I think most marriages happen when it’s ‘about time’ in one way or another. Either one or both parties hold strong desires towards marriage, or that they’re comfortable with each other enough that they think it’s time to settle down. A proposal could be a surprise, but really it should just be a gesture and the idea of engagement shouldn’t be a surprise. To be more specific, the ‘date’ of when he’ll propose could be a surprise, but the high-level timeline of when you two will be ready to get married shouldn’t be…
That said I take issue with people saying you propose to him. NEVER propose to someone who might not be ready for marriage. Imo, the person who’s not ready at the moment should be the one proposing. You’ve communicated to him the fact that you want to get married and are ready now, he hasn’t. So if you tell him your timeline, you’re leaving him with some leeway to reflect and make what is also a big life decision for him. If you propose to him, you’re pressuring him into making a decision RIGHT NOW and that becomes a sort of ultimatum.
Anywho stop waiting around, find out if your life priorities align with his in this regard. Just because the relationship is otherwise perfect doesn’t mean he’s the one.
No. That is not realistic. She may possibly find it but it's not definitely going to happen. Saying otherwise is fantasy.
Children are far better off with a parent as a role model who can draw boundaries and take care of themselves.
That is just personal opinion masked as a fact. Unless we know the specifics of the alternatives. That is a broken conclusion.
Life is far more complicated. Especially if she's still going to be depending upon someone that is inherently unreliable after a breakup. Now that person has even less reason to be reliable.
Her options are limited. What trade offs OP is willing to make, will decide what is the better option.
Haha I don’t know how you assumed I don’t know anyone in the country I’m moving to. My sister, my cousin and a lot of my friends live there 🙂 I lived in his country for 2 months and we spent a lot of time together but yes we spent a bit of time in distance. However we were gonna see each other in May as well. I don’t really know if it is the distance tbh Thank you for your comment though 🙂
That is such possessive behavior.
Explain to them how to play chess ( not in a super detailed way, you'll just end up annoying them ), start easy so they can understand everything. ( let them win ) Slowly increase the difficulty. Don't be cocky about winning. Also don't send pilk memes, they found it weird the first time so just stop
How old were you and your ex when you met?
YOU are annoyed! You want a straight-forward answer to a straight-forward question!
I don't know what advice you are looking for – either you challenge him to engage meaningfully in conversations or you decide that “I don't know” is his answer and let it go. (And that sucks.)
Honestly if this was in the US what your ex's family members did was cyberbullying and harassment. It's finally taken seriously in many parts of the US, and a federal crime. The FBI gets involved.
If it isn't taken seriously in your country, I highly recommend you try to change that because it is needed and you have a good story to tell.
If you love your ex wife you'd leave her alone. Why would you want to destroy her life again? You can't even control yourself. You should cut off the engagement. Why do you keep entering into monogamous relationships is truly beyond me. Just stay single and live in your truth. Be a good dad. Seek mental health care.
Dude tell your fucking wife you cheated and stop worrying about raping someone
Yes , child support comes out automatically. I do buy bday and Xmas gifts and occasionally movie tickets , pizza , snacks. But not too much of daily things.
Absolutely needs to use the FREE reminder setting on his phone. I’m really anxiously waiting on February to see how it goes. I’ll give a single reminder about our budget agreement and then whatever happens happens. I wanna be optimistic. This is the first time I’ve made a budget for us so it’s a new thing. But making something easier shouldn’t result in making things harder.
I did take it, I accepted I was TAH and agreed to offer her money.
I wasn’t going to offer her anything but I worked it out to be able to due to the judgment there
It sounds like you have caregiver fatigue. Are you in therapy? Can you hire some help? Have you actually done anything to try and alleviate this situation for yourself before jumping to leaving her and breaking your marriage vows?
I don’t really have any advice, but we’ve all heard that statistics of how many men leave their wives when they get sick – so much it’s a trope at this point. You knew she was sick when y’all got married. Personally, I would think less of and distance myself from a friend who left their sick wife, but you do what’s right for you.
I just hope you fully understand the repercussions of your decision. I suggest you get help with caregiving, get therapy, then revisit this convo with a clearer mind.
You sound very inconsiderate of people's private time
Have a real conversation about it, tell him you would like to get married by say, 30, and if he’s not ready then you two are just not compatible. It’s not an ultimatum, you’re merely communicate your needs and how you would like to live your life, he’s still free to make his choices. I honestly doubt that if he’s actually against the idea, he would propose and lock himself into marriage just to keep you around.
And both of you should stop it with the idea of ‘surprises’ at least for now, especially as he seems to be using it as an excuse to drag this out. Honestly I think most marriages happen when it’s ‘about time’ in one way or another. Either one or both parties hold strong desires towards marriage, or that they’re comfortable with each other enough that they think it’s time to settle down. A proposal could be a surprise, but really it should just be a gesture and the idea of engagement shouldn’t be a surprise. To be more specific, the ‘date’ of when he’ll propose could be a surprise, but the high-level timeline of when you two will be ready to get married shouldn’t be…
That said I take issue with people saying you propose to him. NEVER propose to someone who might not be ready for marriage. Imo, the person who’s not ready at the moment should be the one proposing. You’ve communicated to him the fact that you want to get married and are ready now, he hasn’t. So if you tell him your timeline, you’re leaving him with some leeway to reflect and make what is also a big life decision for him. If you propose to him, you’re pressuring him into making a decision RIGHT NOW and that becomes a sort of ultimatum.
Anywho stop waiting around, find out if your life priorities align with his in this regard. Just because the relationship is otherwise perfect doesn’t mean he’s the one.
A trip. Your mouth smells like shit & death, & you worried about a trip.
As my grandmother would say, “you better trip yo ass out my damn house then! Trip on that!”
She can definitely
No. That is not realistic. She may possibly find it but it's not definitely going to happen. Saying otherwise is fantasy.
Children are far better off with a parent as a role model who can draw boundaries and take care of themselves.
That is just personal opinion masked as a fact. Unless we know the specifics of the alternatives. That is a broken conclusion.
Life is far more complicated. Especially if she's still going to be depending upon someone that is inherently unreliable after a breakup. Now that person has even less reason to be reliable.
Her options are limited. What trade offs OP is willing to make, will decide what is the better option.
Break up. You’re not compatible with her skewed view of roles in relationships
Yes! Tell her and gently explain that if he comes back you’re reporting this to management. Your guilt is unwarranted. You were harassed at work!
Haha I don’t know how you assumed I don’t know anyone in the country I’m moving to. My sister, my cousin and a lot of my friends live there 🙂 I lived in his country for 2 months and we spent a lot of time together but yes we spent a bit of time in distance. However we were gonna see each other in May as well. I don’t really know if it is the distance tbh Thank you for your comment though 🙂
You've come up with a nice idea to put some notes around the house.
Now follow that with using your own thoughts and words to make this happen.