My ex has BPD and she found pics on my PC. That didn't end well. In the end I couldn't be happier I got out of that relationship, but at the time it felt like the whole world. I'm not mentally equipped to deal with somebody with BPD and/or any severe mental disorder. It's just not who I am. It never would have worked out. At the time I was still a teen. It was quite the learning experience honestly.
For some people cheating is even looking the same direction as another woman, and that's the type of person that she was. It's totally her own write to set boundaries but I wasn't going to be along for the ride. It isn't the fact of having to avert my eyes from other women, it's the fact of always being under a microscope regardless of how faithful.
I just couldn't stand to be in a relationship not built on trust. She was the type of girl who could never trust anybody. Not necessarily saying the OPs gf is the same but in this type of situation it'll be an uphill battle for sure. His gf will feel validated just like you said.
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Your mom being in a bad way now doesn't change that she is entirely responsible for her choices and decisions then. This wasn't a one-off thing: she deliberately hid you from your father for years; it is certainly parental abduction and, depending on where you live, may also be straight up kidnapping.
You're allowed to be angry. You're allowed to not want to talk to her or see her. You're not punishing her: you're processing what happened to you. You don't have to forgive her for what she did. You can hold her accountable and you should.
I strongly recommend you seek out professional counseling to help navigate this before reaching out to your father and mother again.
Thanks. I’m surprised because he has helped me through some of the worst events in my life. I was assaulted and also went through a horrible miscarriage that almost killed me and he was there for me and took care of me the entire time(Sorry if this is TMI but it’s anonymous so I don’t care too much) .
I did mention to him how much it would mean to us if he visited her, but I can’t force him. Thank you for your advice
Dude needs to get over himself. Cooking and cleaning for two adults isn’t difficult. Time for him to get any job or move out. You’re not obligated to carry his lazy ass.
Yeah, I would just tell her that the rumor mill is saying she slept with her ex during the bachelorette party, and you trust the source. get her reaction, but for me it still would be over.
BTW….I don't get how stupid people are to write shit down or text about incriminating stuff and save it. I don't care if you think it's safe or private. It always gets out…..
Your gf asked you out, fucked your best-friend who at the time didn't know that she asked you out, and then went back to you like nothing happened. That's fucked up to say the least. She's probably destroyed your friendship, your trust in her, and your mental health since it's eating you from within since the past year.
Bin this psychopath and find someone better, you'll never get over it and it's only ending with you either becoming clinically depressed, you ending up hating her or hating your best-friend.
for fucks sake. Jesus help me. I cannot with people who engage in this shit with people they know are married and have children.
Is a Good woman gonna step out of her marriage? Ruin her relationship with her kids? I consider myself a good woman and I'm married so I think not. If she was that unhappy in her marriage she wldve been seperated or divorced. Cheaters will cheat but they won't leave the comfort of having their cake and eating it. Ur just a distraction! She's trying to fill a need or a thrill by sneaking around. But u are very right she isn't gonna blow up her family for u!!
You aren't 5 OP grow tf up. You knew she was married going into this wtf do u expect to get out of this except being an affair partner and someone her children will see as a villain who ruined their lives if ur little gf gets caught out.
You will get the crap end of this stick and i honest to God hope her husband finds out and leaves her. Then you'll see how perfect u are for each other when she's crying about how she regrets talking to you and misses her family.
You can try to be cordial. Good luck if you succeed. At some stage it will normally get bitter and vengeful, whatever you do to try and prevent it.
My ex has BPD and she found pics on my PC. That didn't end well. In the end I couldn't be happier I got out of that relationship, but at the time it felt like the whole world. I'm not mentally equipped to deal with somebody with BPD and/or any severe mental disorder. It's just not who I am. It never would have worked out. At the time I was still a teen. It was quite the learning experience honestly.
For some people cheating is even looking the same direction as another woman, and that's the type of person that she was. It's totally her own write to set boundaries but I wasn't going to be along for the ride. It isn't the fact of having to avert my eyes from other women, it's the fact of always being under a microscope regardless of how faithful.
I just couldn't stand to be in a relationship not built on trust. She was the type of girl who could never trust anybody. Not necessarily saying the OPs gf is the same but in this type of situation it'll be an uphill battle for sure. His gf will feel validated just like you said.
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My question is should their be a 4th chance?
No.
Sounds like they picked them over you
J Cole been telling them ugh ??♀️
Your mom being in a bad way now doesn't change that she is entirely responsible for her choices and decisions then. This wasn't a one-off thing: she deliberately hid you from your father for years; it is certainly parental abduction and, depending on where you live, may also be straight up kidnapping.
You're allowed to be angry. You're allowed to not want to talk to her or see her. You're not punishing her: you're processing what happened to you. You don't have to forgive her for what she did. You can hold her accountable and you should.
I strongly recommend you seek out professional counseling to help navigate this before reaching out to your father and mother again.
Thanks. I’m surprised because he has helped me through some of the worst events in my life. I was assaulted and also went through a horrible miscarriage that almost killed me and he was there for me and took care of me the entire time(Sorry if this is TMI but it’s anonymous so I don’t care too much) .
I did mention to him how much it would mean to us if he visited her, but I can’t force him. Thank you for your advice
Thank you. I really appreciate it.
You have to be direct my friend. It’s uncomfortable as a woman, but tell him exactly how you felt.
Are you frequently turning him down for sex?
Ask him, why he’s uncomfortable in your bed. He hasn’t actually explained the problem, only the real for his solution.
Why should I tell her adding to her plate? This is very selfish thing to do.
There are clubs outside of school, and lots of people meet their partners in clubs and classes. Common interests are a good start for a relationship.
Girl here. Also a high sex drive. I couldn’t be in a relationship with someone who wasn’t near my level. Find someone like you.
Dude needs to get over himself. Cooking and cleaning for two adults isn’t difficult. Time for him to get any job or move out. You’re not obligated to carry his lazy ass.
Yeah, I would just tell her that the rumor mill is saying she slept with her ex during the bachelorette party, and you trust the source. get her reaction, but for me it still would be over.
BTW….I don't get how stupid people are to write shit down or text about incriminating stuff and save it. I don't care if you think it's safe or private. It always gets out…..
Your gf asked you out, fucked your best-friend who at the time didn't know that she asked you out, and then went back to you like nothing happened. That's fucked up to say the least. She's probably destroyed your friendship, your trust in her, and your mental health since it's eating you from within since the past year.
Bin this psychopath and find someone better, you'll never get over it and it's only ending with you either becoming clinically depressed, you ending up hating her or hating your best-friend.
This!!
for fucks sake. Jesus help me. I cannot with people who engage in this shit with people they know are married and have children.
Is a Good woman gonna step out of her marriage? Ruin her relationship with her kids? I consider myself a good woman and I'm married so I think not. If she was that unhappy in her marriage she wldve been seperated or divorced. Cheaters will cheat but they won't leave the comfort of having their cake and eating it. Ur just a distraction! She's trying to fill a need or a thrill by sneaking around. But u are very right she isn't gonna blow up her family for u!!
You aren't 5 OP grow tf up. You knew she was married going into this wtf do u expect to get out of this except being an affair partner and someone her children will see as a villain who ruined their lives if ur little gf gets caught out.
You will get the crap end of this stick and i honest to God hope her husband finds out and leaves her. Then you'll see how perfect u are for each other when she's crying about how she regrets talking to you and misses her family.