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Date: November 3, 2022
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Well that’s the thing when ever I say not now or ask for a break he makes a big deal out of it. I’m scared to point it out in fear we may fight or he’s going to take of his ring again. I don’t know how to handle it anymore like either I’m annoying or I’m not talking. I’m lazy but I need to take breaks. One time he said go take a nap. Within 5 minutes he was in the room throwing things around like sir. That’s not how a nap works.
Google fight trauma response. If he grew up where problems between loved ones always devolved into attacks, then for him bringing up a problem means he’ll soon be attacked so he counterattacks to get people to back off. Think cat that arches it’s back and hisses and scratches whenever it feels threatened.
It most likely was formed as a functional way to protect himself in a dysfunctional situation. The problem is once it becomes habit, any new close relationship problem will trigger that response automatically, regardless of if that new person is likely to escalate the issue into attacks or not. And sadly, since a fight trauma response triggers the person whenever problems are addressed, they’re often the people hardest to help and most likely to abuse and yet feel the most lonely. It in effect insulates them from ever understanding let alone learning from and addressing their mistakes. Most people learn and grow, people with fight trauma responses often stagnate, and become bitter and resentful, never realizing that what they do to keep themselves safe is what is holding them back.
Maybe you should listen to your gut & this guy's ex-gf and find yourself a bf who isn't obsessed with a women who isn't interested in him.
I agree with this. I think it’s wrong to immediately think you aren’t compatible. Perhaps he enjoys the peace more than you think, and how you can have conversation when it’s deep etc.
Don’t assume, and it’s not a bad thing to ask! Opposites can and do attract. My girlfriend right now is usually much quieter than I am. After some time, it’s easier to get her started with me when it’s something she’s interested in. But when she’s quiet and I’m feeling like I don’t want to talk, it’s nice not having that pressure and to just be
he removes them to see you because he obviously thinks you are beautiful !
i understand, we all have our issues and insecurities, but he clearly loves you and wants to see you. i would bet that what other people see when they look at you is so so much better than what you see in the mirror
Your husband committed a crime.
No you owned it. Good communication very direct. His loss.
With the same reasoning you could ask your gf to get screened for future abuse potential. Women can be abusers, too, but after 6 years I‘d venture to say that both of you know each other well enough to know as much as any therapist might find out in a screening.
Therapy however is something that might be really helpful for her if, as you say, she internalizes her friends‘ problems and doesn’t even realize how unreasonable her request to you is.
You both seem so immature. Why do you say such petty things? Is it a symptom of your failed relationship? It sounds like you both know this relationship isn't working.
Here is what he needs to say(but only if it's true)
“I don't care if we aren't genetically related. I still raised him which means he is my son.”
And then he takes his ex to court for trying to skip his mandated visitation.
Talk to venue staff. Tell them the situation and explain that hes is not to be admitted if he isn't in proper attire.
IF he sneaks it by, Get a group of your closest friends and family preparing to roast him to filth. Let all the fun be made at his expense this time. Hell, I'd make a plaque for “best turd polishing” and have it read for him. When he scuttles out in his rainbow gear give it to him with much fanfare. Say: “When you said you were going to dress for your dream job, excuse me 'career', I was hoping you'd go all out. Man, you never disappoint do you? You deserve this award, no body on the planet can make a turd look presentable like you man. Cheers everyone!”
Or just bar his entry entirely.
It wasn’t me that posted that? So not sure what you expect me to say about it.