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Deep Throat / Roll the dice! / Have you already added me to favorites? / Snapchat Discount only this week [90 tokens remaining]
Date: October 16, 2022
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I said they to them but I did start to overthink a little bit and got worried that I might be in over my head too early on if that makes sense but as you said, we are getting gifts for eachother so I suppose that’s just being nice for eachother right?
Is the 3 date rule no longer a thing? Lol
Sounds like she's doing you a huge favor. She kept you around to not feel lonely and to feed her ego.
Don't play her games and just walk away.
Have you ever been locked out of your own device? I have, and apple helped me to unlock it.
I imagine that if OP owned the phone they’d have no real way of telling if it was really his dead wife’s phone or not.
It’s not like Joe Smith brought in Mary Kelly’s phone and asked for them to unlock it. Joe Smith brought in Joe Smith’s phone, which had happened to have been used by Jane Smith, and asked them to unlock it.
That's how I feel.
I hope it serves you well, I find great value in reminding my self (and I say this with encouragement not to demean) that the world doesn’t revolve around me and and what I think/feel.
Good luck!
Ah a Reddit tale as old as time. You can either
Say yes and your wife goes and dates this new guy
Or
Say no and your wife will probably go and date the new guy (if she already isn’t in secret)
Either way it’s a signal that your relationship as you know it is probably over. Accept that you had a good run and move on is my advice.
She didn't exactly complain when I got her a luxury car, designer dresses and bags, booked her appointments at the best salons, and so on. Or when we moved from our modest studio to a high-end two-bedroom. No, she didn't demand these things, but she was happy to go along with them. Delighted by them, even.
Headspace meditation app can help also
I don't even need to read this whole post
Thank you for the advice, I end up falling into a cycle where I tell her the problems, she tries to fix it and it goes back to the same issues
End it now, he knew that he couldn't marry you since day one, that's a huge red flag
Cannot say definitely ever until a paternity test. We were together pretty much every day during the window. But because of the split after it will be paternity
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I do have very good moments with him and we get along very well. I know it may sound different from this summary but it’s probably bc im highlighting a lot of the bad. I agree the tinder thing was ridiculous tho. But what am i supposed to do with the snapchat thing??
You're going to need to find more identity and things to be proud of as a man and a partner other than as a provider. As anil_robo said, this is 2023. Many women aren't looking to be treated as if we can't take care of ourselves. I know you've said this is one of your principles, but it is a principle rooted in misogyny. From a time when women weren't allowed education, jobs, and had to have a husband to take care of them. For many women, that's not an attractive principle to hold.
Glad they had a good time, that’s between you and them
Your relationship with your dad explains why you think it’s OK to be treated like shit by men. You need to break the cycle and realize that you’ll only get treated better when you believe that you deserve better.
You don't have to be polite to people who are being rude to you and disrespectful to your relationship.
Very simply shut them down when they bring it up.
This is none of your business.
I am talking to this about you.
You are being very rude and unprofessional
I don't need nor appreciate your opinion.
If you don't drop this highly inappropriate subject I will be taking this to HR or management whatever you have.
Do you find your thinking about it less and less each day? When you do think about it does it feel like a punch in the gut but it doesn't last as long? If that's the case you'll likely get over it with time but if those feelings change the way you are around her that's not fair on her.
Your wife certainly has…opinions…on how divorce law works.
Who cares? If that’s what she wants it’s your not to help her after
Yes, but leave him when he is not here (don't forget the gun). Don't talk about leaving, just do it.
Divorce and run ?♀️seriously wtf….
it wasn’t an issue then and it still isn’t now
Wow. Apparently you cheated? If she’d been there it wouldn’t have happened? You have no integrity. You did agreed to LDR. During the 2 days she visited, everything was great. You cheated. Now you’re blaming her. Not good.
Uh, no? Even if I wasn’t in the picture I’m positive they would not have ended up together lol. We are stable adults who are capable of having platonic relationships with people of different genders without causing any drama. I actually found it very attractive that my boyfriend was friends with both guys and girls and treated those friendships the exact same.
I know many men who would be fine with this— because they trust their partner.
He watched you get fucked by 4 different guys, he may have said it was ok to do but that was probably to make you happy. Maybe it wasn’t exactly what he wanted and or when it started and he saw what he saw it disturbed him so when he sees u he thinks of that moment.
Gonna be honest- if she doesn't see a problem then she will 100% do it to you. Even if she wanted to be different for you specifically, she'd be, you know, different.
Well, you are absolutely correct and that's something I recently found about. I thought I made her see my point but later she tells me she hated doing it my way. I am trying to change that but that's really hard for me. I don't realize at the heat of the moment what I am doing is wrong. Later it comes to me “oh, she just told me and I did it again.” Saying I am sorry makes it worse as she begins to cry and say “yes, you did”. That's why I started social media. To pick up on such things on time and be more social.
have her take a test in front of you. if she refuses just dump her and see if she calls in 9 months.
Don’t expect any apologies. He’s been abusive before and didn’t do it then.
You feel cornered. You want to leave but afraid to do so for many reasons. It’s hard to make the first step but seek help from organisations that help women to get out from abusive partners.
He will not change. You have to do it for your own security.
what what what what what what?!?! No.
there’s literally no reason to go over there if they have no current, romantic relationship.
it’s her decision on whether not to keep the baby, it’s his decision whether or not to be financially responsible for it. Him being involved at nights comes after the baby is born!
so either they’re still continuing a relationship or they’re continuing the relationship.
there’s no other reason for him to be there at night, he’s chosen the other woman already.
Well, it sounds like the cars already need frequent repairs which are probably not an efficient use of money, and they're considering starting a family within the next year, but you're right that it may not be an absolute emergency.
I thought OP explained very clearly why she didn't think a used car made sense. I have the impression that the used car market it wild right now and you can't necessarily get a lightly used car for a way better price than new in the way you could when I bought mine a few years ago. She could definitely consider a car on the low end of the $20,000-$30,000 range or look harder for a used car that meets her needs, but it sounds like her husband is being very dismissive and rude about the whole situation and not seeking compromise so I don't know that he'll magically get better if the situation becomes more compelling.
Imagine that you fall and break an arm. It’s a bad break. You’re going to need a few surgeries and physiotherapy to have full use of your arm again. The surgeries alone will take at least six months.
I don’t know if you are aware of this, but a break like that isn’t healed after the final cast comes off. It takes at least three more years of slow, painful physiotherapy to restore what was lost. And you usually have a scar to show for it.
This is the natural process of healing. It happens for emotional wounds, too. We often feel impatient – and justifiably so! – as we wait for our injuries to heal. We’re ready to move on. We’ve had our heart-to-hearts. We’ve made and received apologies. We’ve rationalised and examined the bad behaviour, we’ve understood the motives and the reasons, we have talked and cried until there are no more tears or words left. We are ready to be whole again.
And yet. Here is this giant lump of trauma. Stubborn. Painful. Heavy. It sticks when you take hold of it to try and heave it out of your way, and happily envelops you, suffocates you. When you drag yourself loose to gasp for air, you find yourself right back where you were. Staring resentfully up at The Lump.
The only way to work through it is to do that awful, painful, grinding emotional physiotherapy. You have to chip off little pieces and toss them aside. You have to tackle it but by bit, chew it up and spit it out. You have to find the right place for each piece in your mind and pack it away gently, carefully.
This sucks. It’s the worst bit of any kind of recovery. Ask anyone. It’s dreadful. You feel like you’ll never be done. It’s really good to tag in the help of a trained professional for this bit, that will really speed things up. An emotional physiotherapist is called a psychologist.
One day, you’re going to stand up. You’ll look around and realise that you feel remarkably light. You’ll look all around for The Lump. You’ll feel into the dark corners of your mind, searching for the stickiness, the ick, the gunk you’ve been trying to scrub clean. And you won’t find any. You’ll finally be done. Free.
Now and again, you might find a little creeps back. But it’s easily dealt with. Once you’ve dealt with The Lump, you will never be suffocated again.
Lying isn’t nothing. It’s a dealbreaker for me. Ask yourself this. If your children ended up in a marriage exactly like yours, would you be happy for them? Because they will. I left for my kids. Different issues but I couldn’t allow them to believe that what their dad and I had was something to aspire to. I guarantee there are lies that you don’t know about.
Take pictures and videos of them. Get stories and recipes. Get as much as you can whenever you can. It’ll happen and it’ll hurt but it’s part of life sadly.
Interesting – that’s your opinion
If she is taking birth control to avoid pregnancy may I suggest you get snipped? No more worrying about hormones that come with birth control and its (most of the time) reversible. Some states have grants to make birth control fairly cheap through planned parenthood or hospitals.
I’d probably send one short “I’m sorry, this isn’t working for me. Good luck with your future endeavors “ text and then block her on everything
Let him go and focus on yourself without the fear of losing him. If the relationship is this hard in your early twenties….well let's just say it isn't going to get easier from here.
So you're a co-parent, no wonder you have such an opinion. It's not just naive and impractical, but a tinge of selfishness as well. Why should a 20-year-old go through a hardship that she had no part in creating, for a guy that she barely knew?
Just because every married couple was in a 6-week relationship before, doesn't mean every 6-week couple should have as much devotion as a long-married couple.
Every married couple was a stranger to each other, does that mean you should marry every stranger you meet?