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Take this SHORTS OFF @ @remain! Earthquake 111 Fireworks 222 Wave 333 Pulse 666 (Private) #new #newmodel brunette #domina #strip [130 tokens remaining]
Date: October 10, 2022
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So, let me see if I have this right. This couple want to 1) pay below market rate to live in your house, 2) take up another bedroom as an office space/games room, 3) have you drive them everywhere, and 4) very likely have you become thier babysitter as well.
Did I miss anything?
I would love to be able to have an extra room to support a friend in need, but even then the above would be a deal breaker for me. Boundaries are so important in these situations, and it sounds like your husband is happy to allow his friends to tread all over them.
This would be an absolute deal breaker for me. Your boyfriend knew he is a pedo, he actively lied to you for years, and still refuses to put up boundaries? What if you have kids with him? Not only would you be putting any potential children at risk (because your bf will DEFINITELY lie to you and take the kids to see him behind your back), but you're also staying with someone who thinks it's okay to manipulate and SA a literal child?
If your boyfriend thought that what his cousin did was wrong, he would have cut ties when it first came to light. Ditch the pedo empathiser. Now.
Address your underlying misogynist beliefs that there’s something wrong with women enjoying sex.
Address your underlying misogynist beliefs that there’s something wrong with women enjoying sex.
Listen to your intuition. You two may have a connection but that isn’t all it takes to maintain a stable relationship. And I can tell you right now, dating a recovering alcoholic will be some hard work. I don’t doubt he’s a good person but you probably only see a condensed version of him. If you become his girlfriend, you will have to really deal with the ups and downs of that journey. Are you ready for that? Most people aren’t. Sounds like he needs to focus on himself and not bring another person into the equation
If she knew what you were going to say, you already were mutual, you just didn't speak the words yet.
Therefore, she cheated.
Break up with her and live your own life my dude. Proud of you for gathering the courage to tell her about your feelings.
You're not in love with this person. You've just allowed a crush to tip into the realm of obsession. Shut these feelings down. Don't allow your mind to focus on this person. Get some therapy and learn how to control your obsessive thought patterns.
The fact she isn't shutting it down, or even stating she has a boyfriend when he's clearly trying to get with her, tells you everything you need to know. She isn't shutting it down because, at the very LEAST, she doesn't mind it. At the worst? She enjoys it, and is reciprocating it. If somebody doesn't like something that's being said to them, they'll usually say so. And they certainly won't continue to message, or reach out, to said person.
i dunno lol he invited me to a dinner when his mom comes ??
Well said.
Like something that she says, that can sound like a very negative thing. An example I go by is if she’s doubtful of you.
Yes, we agree, never said otherwise. That's clear. I'm talking about the rights of the dad. What about the following scenario:
Girl and guy talks, they both agree that if she gets pregnant, neither wants a kid. She gets pregnant, and changes her mind. Wants to keep the baby. Now, she is of course allowed to keep the baby, the dude has no say in that. The question is: shouldn't he be allowed to say “I never wanted this baby. A woman is allowed to not be a mum, so I want to not be a dad.” And then lose all parenting rights and obligations?
She was intentionally baiting you and your bf needs to have that made clear to him. That's not a good friend; that's a toxic, territorial person looking to make his so insecure.
if my husband cuddled anyone except me, I would divorced him Just saying
Don't lie about stuff like this. It would have been better to just be a noob and then you can spin it as “hey, how about we play together and you show me how to get better?”
woah woah woah there is absolutely no abuse towards the animals. he just lets me do all the work. being passive doesn’t mean he’s an animal abuser
You’re the type of parent I aspire to not be. Being entitled to everything, controlling, the “but I’m your mum/dad” attitude makes me feel physically ill.
If my son cut me off, I would have a good hard look in the mirror at myself and see what I’ve done.
I cut off my mother after years of abuse, and she’s done the same thing as you with acting oblivious.
Listen to the comments. Get therapy and admit that maybe you haven’t been the best parents.
Yes.
Just curious was he aware of you age from the start?
Updateme!
100% agree. As a guy, I’d rather be dead than have this happen to me. At least I’d go out with my dignity.
there is no state with 0 income tax. you pay federal income tax everywhere
Idk why everyone is criticizing you so much. My advice is get a lawyer, get a formal custody arrangement and breakup with her. She was manipulative if she didn't put your name down on the birth certificate for 2 months just to hurt you. I don't care whatever people say about the age gap right now (yes it is concerning, but not out of ordinary plus the two of you know the dynamics better). I also don't care about people trying to justify her actions. She was wrong plain and simple.
That’s especially true when you know that it bothers them. Its important to be individualistic, but when your partner asked for some thing they need, I think you should try to give it to them Especially in this case.
Exactly- that’s exactly what I’m talking about! Glad to see some people get what I’m saying
I agree it's difficult to explore this without giving away your intentions. I was totally clueless as to what my wife would have liked since she doesn't wear a lot of jewelry, and we'd never talked about rings before. What I did was secretly recruited one of her best friends to bounce ideas off of (e.g. what do you think she would like, what about this, etc.).
I thought how I went about it was pretty funny, actually.
We were watching a movie one night and my wife left to go to the bathroom, leaving her phone behind. I had about 30 seconds to memorize the friend's contact before my wife got back. I texted the friend from my phone later that night, and asked if she would be willing to be my engagement ring-confidant. She was very excited to be part of it, and agreed to keep things top-secret. While I've met this friend a bunch of times before, I'd really have no reason to be talking to her and my wife would recognize the number if it popped up in notifications or carplay, so I saved her under a false name – someone I used to work with, so I could explain it as a “work thing” if it ever popped up.
The plan worked perfectly and I got some really good advice and information, and the friend kept it a secret (even though she almost died wanting to talk about it with my wife). She loved the ring.
You seem to lack the insight that your behaviour likely ruined her evening and was actually a bit selfish. She probably wanted to have a dinner with you at her uni event, enough so that she wanted to cover costs. It’s awkward to have the person you are with not eating, especially when it’s a money thing. She wanted to be there with you that evening, and for you to do things together.
Your mom is right. End of story
Sure feels like it sometimes, or a lot of times
“I bet it would be wrong of me to get you to tell **** to add me on snap so I could see if he would roll me a blunt” and another message that said “tell him to add me on snap and make sure not to say anything over Facebook cause OP and I still share it”
She knew it was wrong, tried to hide it, and did it anyway. She was already not being honest with you. Why do you think she’s being honest with you now?
I asked her what it was about and she said “You were the on who left”
And then she blamed you for her actions. That’s a big red flag.
For me, if it was straight up cheating, it would be over. No counseling would ever be enough to forget. Go back to Florida, to the sun, the beach, and your friends. You are on 28 and you will meet someone that cares about you and your happiness.
At this point I have no idea what to do
Yeah you do. Run. She's insane
Lol just commenting because everyone is missing this somehow…. Obviously the therapist didn’t say that! Zero reason to trust your cheating partner on anything let alone something so stupid it sounds like a lie a four year old will tell.
Best of luck OP! Sorry your girlfriend sucks, hope she’s not your girlfriend anymore!
How were you doing it in the first place if not her on top? You on top sounds painful. So, on your side I guess? Being OK with that, but not with being on top sounds like an incredibly small difference to me, but boundaries are boundaries, and if she was clear about it then you shouldn't have done so. Apologise.
Now, she's saying you held her there. You must know if you did or not. If you did, then yes, that's SA. If you didn't then she's lying to make it sound worse than it was. If that's the case then you need to end the relationship because it's a small jump from here to accusing you of rape.
Unfortunately only you know which of these is the case. Did you hold her there or not. “I don't know” is not the answer.
I read your update and u blamed yourself for reading. Omg, your boyfriend obviously think you are easy and not exciting. Why wouldn’t you want to know about this? why would people think you shouldn’t know just because he is just processing it? And why should they think you should accept it? And Why are you still with him? if he needs healing, then let him finish healing first before going out with you.
Idk why you’re being downvoted. He’s picked the man out of the relationship and purposely excluded the woman in it and the book keeper. She’s the only one being excluded… and it’s because she’s the women in the relationship otherwise the boss would have gotten them to split their share.
He’s clearly seen the man in the relationship as alpha. It’s like giving the throne to the first male born. She’s been excluded not because she’s a woman but because she’s the woman in the relationship.
Awwwwwwww! What a lovely story to read, I really needed that this morning, thank you so much for sharing with us! Super happy for you!
He's using you for sexual gratification… if you're “very religious” there's A) no way you can be okay with that and B) shouldn't be accepting of that in a potential or actual partner. Get it together and find someone who shares your values.
Definitely not true. Only a small fraction do. But they are the loud narcissists so your going to remember them better.
I think you’ve already come up with some potential action plans in therapy/AA.
I think giving an ultimatum of “if you continue to drink we will break up” isn’t fair if it’s something she needs help to understand and learn to tolerate better, and ultimately will just push you both further from resolution.
Unfortunately this is not something you can do for her. She has to recognise she has a problem before she can take action to change it, and if she is in the denial stage there’s not much you can do to make her realise.
Whether you choose formal therapy or not, this conversation has to happen. Be open and honest with your communication, and only speak for yourself. Tell her how you feel when she overindulges and not what she appears to be like. Your experience may not be the same as her experience, and if she feels like she’s “just having fun” you can explain that it’s not fun for you to take responsibility for her safety during the night.
I hope you can resolve this, because left unchecked we all know what it could turn into, and it sounds like you don’t want to leave her you just need your boundaries respecting so you can continue to be happy together. Good luck.
Alright alright, when you see an attractive guy walking by do you think the same about yourself and your boyfriend vice verse? If you don’t then I’m sure your boyfriend doesn’t either aha.
Genuinely though if u want to stop these thoughts of when people walk by get used to not thinking about it and focus on ur breathing. Say I notice this jealously in me as you take a deep breathe in and as you breathe out say this. I am letting go.
Trust me helps 🙂 with any thoughts for that matter (I use it for anger helps me keep it under control easily with this breathing)
Women are also life. And abortion is controlling if a woman gives birth. It's supposed to be a birth control.
Why did you get into his stuff again after he told you not to? If you needed toothpaste, couldn’t you have just asked? And maybe pack your own toothpaste?
My partner and I have nothing to hide from each other but I would not open a bag of his without permission unless it was an emergency perhaps—like me grabbing bear spray out of his back pack if a bear was upon us.
As for the vape cartridges, they could be old and he hasn’t cleaned them out. It could be that since you’ve stopped, he is trying not to tempt you. It could be that he’s worried about your reaction. Who knows. You’d have to talk to him about it.
But be prepared that he may be pissed that you got into his bag since it’s a topic that was discussed before.
Still the fact that you freak out about him not messaging twice because you left him on read is ridiculous
This isn’t the woman for you. Don’t let yourself be sucked down this rabbit hole, please.
They keep talking like people who just trust each other and aren't insecure don't exist
Then she can break up with him. Neither one is more entitled to comfort/happiness than the other.
Live with someone who's not attracted to your sex.
But you said he has done stuff in the past while at parties/drunk so it’s understandable that you don’t trust him.
Follow your instincts.
She’s an alpha widow.
She’s settling with you.
Very likely you’ll take a big L with her if you proceed.
This comments… She's allowed to have feelings but he's a dick for having feelings… You people are disgusting. Talk to her about it and don't make it all about yourself if you want to know what's the real reason behind it. But your feelings are as valid as hers.
What if it was your kid instead of your dog? Would you still be dragging your feet about his violence not being a big enough issue to get the person/animal/focus of his temper away from him NOW?
You've been watching it happen for a while and it sounds like you still haven't done anything to actually protect the animal or confront the violent abuser. That's why people are upset with you and not being as polite as you think they should be.
Please be a troll, please be a troll, please be a troll.
If you’re not, you’re one of the worst people I’ve seen on Reddit, and that says a whole lot. That you allegedly fell back in love only after she got better actually made me a little ill.
I’m just trying to understand. Are you saying it would feel exactly the same if he was thicker? No difference at all? A 1” diameter penis feels the same as a 2” diameter penis?
Please OP, keep your self-respect and drop this guy before you invest any more time and emotion into this situation. Really, read that back.
So that’s my question in the first place, what can I do other than “feel really really bad” or breakup?
Don’t cater to morons
Like, I could sort of understand if he had some kind of connection to someone who was adopted due to the one child policy… sort of?
There were two sisters that where adopted in my town. Both because they were abandoned due to the One Child Policy. They talked about it sometimes and how they were thankful it worked out for them.
I could then understand one of their close friends (I was a peripheral friend at most lol) being pretty dead set on also adopting a child that was abandoned due to the child policies in China. (I think it's changed but I'm not up to date)
Like it makes sense, their friends grew up directly being told how they appreciated that from the adoptees themselves.
Same would go for any other issue that a person has connection to through an adoptee. It makes sense, someone you know closely tell you it's a good thing, you wanna do the good thing too.
But… for no reason? It's strange for sure. Definitely a reason to be very cautious with this man.
She cut you off best to leave it as is .. let her reach out if she likes.. she made her request clear..
You're insecure and turning that into controlling behavior. Stop. She handled it. She hasn't actually crossed any boundaries yet, so don't make something a problem when it isn't. Something you'll learn when you get to be my age is that you cannot control other people's behavior. A boundary isn't about telling the other person how to behave. If you're not comfortable with a girlfriend who maintains friendly platonic relationships with men then you can choose to break up with her, but trying to tell her how and when she can or can't respond to messages is batshit insane.
I am listing everything because i want to vent off, i told above that in 5 years i have discussed this topic with her only once because i wanted her to have peace of mind and the relationship also, and during all these years i have mentioned to her the topic of respect and how super extremly easy is for her to make me happy. What i am listing are not apples but big amounts of money spent by me a 25 year old boy, if someone spents the amounts that i do sure they do remember because 35k less in the bank account is not a pocket change. I am not saying she should give the money i spent on her back and i never would think about that option and respect isn’t just a cortesy respect is earned also in the era we live love and money go hand in hand together you can not find anymore womans in this era who want to be with u only for the sake of love no matter how much one loves you no woman would spend their entire life with a man to suffer from poverty or lack of money which also could bring up lots of other issues because majority of divorces today expect from cheating also happen for financial matters and there are plenty of studies and publications about this thing.
These aren't minor issues. Your girlfriend sounds conceited and kinda terrible.
He is free to not like them at all now that he knows they're fake. The only question is why are YOU still staying with someone who makes you feel worse about yourself?
Dump this man, and find someone who will worship your breasts. There are many of us out there.
She’s likely using her colleagues as an excuse. Your behavior makes her uncomfortable and she doesn’t feel free to tell you this. You sound unreasonable, reactive and smothering dude. I’d take some time to dig in to this. This is a massive overreaction to the situation. Is getting offended and walking out a go to behavior of yours? Do you often “adamantly” tell her what you will and won’t be doing to her? People are allowed to express themselves in relationships. They are allowed to do things for themselves. It sounds like you are pretty impossible to talk to.
You can leave a relationship for any reason you want. Given what you’ve written it’s unlikely your wife will be working to get you back. She’s probably relishing the peace and freedom. You’re both at the age where people start thinking about all they’ve done and how they want the rest of their life to be. It’s increasingly common for women this age to leave bad relationships. It’s much easier to carry your own stuff and walk alone than it is to have to argue with someone about it.
All of the things you mentioned stem from insecurity though…?
This request is not respectful to you
OR THE CHILDREN
I think you should take a break from reddit friend
It does, but I also get it, sure he’s still just a landlord, but is also making this home buying choice with no regard to what she wants in terms of location style or other choices. She’s not picking an apartment she’s moving into his house he would own anyway. So part of me feels like she should could be responsible for utilities or at least the appearance of something she has no stake in.
For the sake of both of you, end it. Physical affection is a huge part of a relationship The only time it’s not important is if both parties don’t want or enjoy it you two just arnt compatible on a physical level, you don’t want affection and be obviously needs it
I require physical touch Full stop I’m a super physical person, I am almost always attached at my bfs hip, literally I’m almost always leaned up against him and stay as close as I can physically Luckily he has no issue with this and actually encourages it But the times when he needs space physically hurt me a lot I get it and always give him his space But it still hurts being rejected even if only for a few minutes lol you have to find someone who is on the same level with intimacy I wouldn’t want to be with someone who didn’t enjoy physical touch the way I do Because it shows when someone doesn’t like it I’d feel awful if I was so happy cuddling my partner and I looked over to just see them miserable with it It would ruin it for me Then I wouldn’t do it And then I’d be missing someone It’s just an incompatibility and there’s really no getting around it
Dear OP, I really hope you talk to a therapist about this, about the thoughts of unaliving, your boyfriend may be a good partner but he doesn't seem to be the right person for that.
Considering he has been through similar things in the past, and he loves you now, he is valid for being touchy on the topic. By doing this he's not being the perfect partner per se, but doesn't seem to be a jerk.
You are completely valid for having such thoughts are trying to seek help, just talk to the right person for that. Btw, I can feel life is a bit overwhelming for you at the moment, but I'm sure you'll pass through the fire like fking phoenix!