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Date: November 5, 2022
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Good advice thanks!
You dont think its the issue. Believe me, it WILL be, no matter what you think.
“If it can be fixed” – There is one thing to fix in here and its your GF behaviour. It's toxic, creepy stalkery ( checking all 2 years of tweets? GOD that screams crazy from afar ) controlling and manipulative. And does passive agressive threats ” when it will end” ( oh my god, that will be more than enough for me to dump her asap, I dont like beeing a doormat). Nobody has to put up with things like that, SPECIALLY when a boundary that was not known to you was crossed, when she does not have expressed in TWO YEARS that does not want you to see porn, not even bikini pics. A mature adult would have a convo about these things… you apologiced, that's all what you can do. Her feelings are valid of course, but being valid does not make them stop being childish, nor her reactions toxic.
If you want to salvage this relationship on her terms, youll need to continue being a doormat. If you want to try to convert this relationship into somethis somewhat sane, she needs to go to therapy. And I think that you both need to learn what a non toxic relationship is.
Unfortunately if the feelings are “growing” and you two have already confessed to one another that you like each other then you've got to create distance because this is already emotional cheating. You have emotionally cheated on your husband. If you love him as much as you say you do, you will find a way to stay away from the colleague.
Just from what is in the post I would suggest this is not a good relationship. Even if I didn't personally have a rule that if someone breaks an exclusivity agreement, it's an instant deal-breaker, as you say the trust is entirely gone. I know there may be positive traits of hers that you haven't written about but typically if people are thinking they will break up with others, they try to argue themselves out of it and mention a bunch of positives as well. Maybe I am reading into it too much but the lack of this self-arguing strikes me as a sign.
Both
19 when they broke up and she wasn't showing because he didn't know she was pregnant. She prolly gave birth closer to if not 20.
Why the hell were they so mad at you you didn't try to kill him he tried to kill himself the way they tried to handle the situation was not very conducive to anybody trying to get back with her son.
Just agreeing with the rest of the comments here. That's not his friend, that's his partner.
Okay, so let never say anything to people so they never see what can be wrong with them, in all cases there's no signs this person is diagnosed, seeing someone or trying to do something with themselves they just tried finding excuses. I've been there trust me. I disgusted my own mother, previous partners from me because I spiraled into a deep depression and wasn't willing to do anything about it. Our mental health is our responsibility not our partners
To be honest… Who gives a fuck if he's changed? He has a written confession that he raped someone. I'd be keeping that notebook too, not leaving it for him to destroy.
If he wasn't physically attracted to you, he wouldn't be dating you. Generally its that simple. I think it would be rather awkward for him to try to answer a direct question about it – and would you believe his words? Thats the real question. Even the most classically attractive people get insecure about their looks and dont respond well to compliments.
If its eating away at you and you really want to get it off your chest, then find a good time to bring it up and dont overanalyze his response.
Stop letting this asshat make you feel sad. You told him to stop, time and time again and he hasn’t. He is showing you who he is. If you were an American who pronounced everything like he does, he would just find something else to neg you about constantly. I would dump the cunt, he sounds obnoxious.
I happen to love the British accent, especially how they pronounce things. Just keep on being you, and proud of your accent. There are plenty of men out there who would adore it.
yes you should definitely be worried about a 22 yo making their own choices
Staying with him is excusing his behavior. He has faced no consequences for his actions. You constantly live with depression and anxiety FROM being with this person. This person you can’t trust. This person who your gut is screaming at you to leave and you ignore it, which causes even more anxiety and depression.
You cannot trust him. You want to but you can’t. You will forever be in this limbo of wanting to trust but being afraid of being hurt again— because …. YOU CANT TRUST HIM.
Well, I will say, I am his age and the first thing that comes to my mind when thinking of dating someone your age is “Why???!!!?” There is absolutely nothing for me to discuss with a 20 year old. We are in completely different stages of life. There is also the factor of emotional maturity. At 20, a person's brain isn't even fully developed. I would literally always have the upper hand and have the ability to manipulate someone that age simply because of life experience. I'm also not attracted to people that age because, quite frankly, ya'll look too young. My children are young teenagers and it feels creepy to me to look at someone that age and sexualize them. Idk. My biggest question is, no offense, but what would someone that age possibly be able to offer someone my age unless I am is 1.) emotionally immature 2.) have an affinity for dating much younger people, Leo DiCaprio syndrome 3.) wants to have the upper hand in a power imbalanced relationship.
You could do better. Do you really want to be with some creepy old dude who is chasing youth because he's attracted to young women and the ease at which he can manipulate and control the relationship? Do you want to be tied down to old balls in your prime? Nah girl, go find someone closer to your age and enjoy it. 🙂