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ALL GOALS MET [Multi Goal]
Date: February 7, 2023
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WeekendPussy
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ALL GOALS MET [Multi Goal]
Yeah OP. I’m free and available instead.
/s
Oh boy. He said a dumb. It's not a big deal that he was with someone more experienced and adventurous than you. It's a bit of a big deal he told you. That was a dumb and shitty thing to do but doesn't sound like it was meant maliciously. It might just take a while for you to heal from the comment. Give it some time.
If you don’t shut it down you’ll lose the guy you are currently with.
OP please dont read into the holier than though liberal extremists here.
This was a breech of your trust and should totally be dumped for
Don’t call her. If she can do that and just ghost on you shows that this past 7 months don’t mean shit to her. You deserve someone who wouldn’t dare leave you in the dark like this over something so mundane.
Yeah, birthdays are not New Year’s Eve. I’ve never heard of staying up till midnight to celebrate a birthday the next day. Clearly boyfriend wanted to go out and you didn’t , BUT you didn’t use your grown up words to tell him you wanted him to be with you when your birthday starts. It’s not a reasonable expectation.
its really not. it’s also satisfying to save them. and its free
Yes you’re ? correct. Cheating is cheating. It’s not fair for either of us especially not his children. My heart would be ripped apart if I were a little girl and found out my dad was cheating. I will stay in my lane…. Thank you
Girl, come on. He's playing you. How late at night are these dates? Is he spending the night or leaving after sex?
I was trying to forget about the poop knife.
I should also add that there is almost no chance she physically cheated because we were constantly together (and I mean constantly), but the thought that she may have been emotionally cheating is destroying me and my happy memories of the relationship. I just keep thinking “That thing we did was so perfect, but what if she wanted to be with this other guy during it”.
Why are you continuing to waste your time with her? Dump her, block her and move on.
I would not accept this. What about the next time she drinks.
Well, it sounds to me like your choice is already made then, right? You look certain you can't convince him to make his family behave and having to deal with more of them (3h40 ain't that far away) fills you with dread. You know you've done what you could -without betraying yourself- to have a good relationship with them and it didn't work, and you don't see yourself dealing with a lifetime of that bullshit, of getting shunned and insulted, of having to worry of what they may say to your children about you when they'll visit their grandparents without you (or worse, with you). To me, it doesn't look like you believe there's a solution, but instead like your decision is already made and you're just psyching yourself up to break up with him.
Thank you for this. That’s probably been my biggest worry. One partner feeling left out in the relationship. Discussing boundaries with my gf first, seems like a good idea.
Well, it sounds to me like your choice is already made then, right? You look certain you can't convince him to make his family behave and having to deal with more of them (3h40 ain't that far away) fills you with dread. You know you've done what you could -without betraying yourself- to have a good relationship with them and it didn't work, and you don't see yourself dealing with a lifetime of that bullshit, of getting shunned and insulted, of having to worry of what they may say to your children about you when they'll visit their grandparents without you (or worse, with you). To me, it doesn't look like you believe there's a solution, but instead like your decision is already made and you're just psyching yourself up to break up with him.
So you submit yourself to a lifetime of unhappiness or eventual divorce because you married a doormat?
You can. Take control of your life. No one else will.
You are doing yourself and her a disservice by not having an open conversation about your discomfort and her expectations. It’s better to pull the bandaid now than to continue investing and avoiding the conversation.
Either she won’t be comfortable waiting (in which case she’s not a great match for your needs anyway), or she is and you need to figure out how to figure out what exactly you need, or if there is some trauma there for you to address (and not make her issue).
Aka, run don’t walk. Life is balance, you need a yang
Stop caring what he is going to tell you and grow a spine.
Where the fuck does he say anything like this? Y’all are wild.
Being housemates with someone is pretty different to a romantic domestic partnership. When I stay with my partner we cook meals together, do chores together, plan stuff together, cuddle on the couch. With housemates we have different food and we don't share. We take turns using the kitchen. They go out and do their own shit and they don't have to talk to me about it. Sometimes we sit on the couch and play videogames but mostly we do our own thing. The most domestic thing we do is go “I cleaned the shower last time can you do it this time”. Not exactly intimate
Because it's a red flag!!
Sorry but I find this hilarious ???
Yeah I had a friend like this who acted almost like with with my bf at the time. They are now married with two children. They are a great couple, I just wish she could have skipped all the lying and manipulating stuff.
Sounds like trauma
Bro as someone who stayed after wife’s affair, may I beg you to take some advice and LEAVE! Don’t walk, RUN away from this relationship. My wife’s affair was over 8 years ago and it still bothers me to this day! I can’t ever fully trust her again and am suspicious of her relationship with every single guy that comes into her life.
Looking back, here’s some things I realized that could relate; I had asked, then told, then begged her to completely block the dude at the time. She refused for a long long time, continuing to text/talk with him even after I knew about things but she and I were “working on us.” I realized later that she had really completely checked out and was just putting me off while she did whatever she wanted. Her main reason? “He’s just a friend.” (She never did fully admit to an affair because all my evidence was circumstantial. By circumstantial I mean if you walked into a room with a body and she was holding the dripping knife. Didn’t see her stab him, but you know what happened.) By her refusing to cut him off, she was choosing him over me.
My point is, this is probably just the tip of your iceberg. IF she hasn’t already slept with him for real, she would have soon and might still. You can’t watch her 24/7 can you? And what’s more, would you want to? Trust me, living feeling like you have to be suspicious of every single action your WIFE takes isn’t fun and at that point, she’s not really YOUR wife anymore. She’s just a girl you gave some jewelry to, doing what she wants and with whoever she wants. Vows be damned.
Do yourself a favor. It’s been less than a year so get an annulment (should be possible) and make it as clean a cut as you can. Don’t talk it out. Don’t stay friends. As long as there’s no kids, there’s no reason to stay in touch whatsoever! You’ll heal faster this way. Also, don’t be petty in the breakup. It just makes it unnecessarily messy and prolonged. She hurt you, tried to blame you for it, and is trying to justify keeping this dude around. Let her, she can have him and you can move on to be happy elsewhere.
I stayed (for reasons) and yes, she eventually blocked the other guy completely. We don’t fight and I’m happy enough. But it haunts me to this day and probably will forever. It changed the person I am into someone more cynical and less caring. I can’t help but think that, even with KIDS and how much harder it would’ve been, maybe I should’ve let my wife leave when she wanted to.
Do yourself a favor and bail while you can. Now while it’s a cheap/easy/clean as it can possibly get.
Just tell them “we might get married for the tax benefits eventually but I don't want a wedding, it's a sham industry I don't want to feed into.” then walk away.
Tell him his dick is not that great compare your past dates
Not all men look at a girl and wonder what material their panties are made of. Only horny teenagers and people who dont get any.
Sex therapists are there for this kind of reason. A bit awkward maybe, but they can help you talk through the processes in each of your heads. Could help!
Just because someone devotes their life to God doesn’t mean they are a good person or treats the people in his life with dignity and respect. Bad people use religion as a mask, and as an excuse to treat people poorly. Leave him and you and your kids WILL BE OK. It will be challenging for a little while but you will get through it and you and your kids lives will be better.
He is exactly the same person he was two years ago, he was a liar then and he is a liar now. You know this. Don't waste anymore time deluding yourself that he can be anything else. Look up Sunk Cost Fallacy and DARVO. Get away from his abusive ass.
“Dear MOH Sister, my definition of Friendship includes mutual caring, respect and open communication between parties. Your Sister and you seem to different definition, where only your feelings & timeline matter. So, following your Sister’s lead, I finally accepted that our lives are no longer compatible. Best wishes to you both, while we take separate paths in life.”
He don't miss her, he misses what she use to do for him and all that he benifitted from. This girl needs to leave cause this is not love, this man just sees her as a nanny/maid.
There is no avoiding confronting the matter. Surely it is a relationship ending if it is true. Her change of behaviour is a red flag.
Do try not to get her pregnant while she is back until you clear this matter of her sleeping with her friends.
A large number will be against checking her phone, but given the seriousness of the info, you should consider it because it could cost you years of your life if you let it go and catch her only after marriage and kids.
It looks like. Drunk probably daily
So she’s not actually teasing anyone
Nah girl you handled it well he just isn’t interested in shutting down other girl advances . More mature humans that want to be in serious relationships would take you up on the offer to communicate boundaries and work with you to solve problems
YTA for posting this here. This is not r/AmITheAsshole. Moral judgement requests are against the rules of this subreddit.
You're perfectly allowed to feel hurt, but I'm not going to say that it's valid. Everybody moves on in different ways. You weren't together with him. He is a consenting adult, he was within his rights to do what he did. He had no commitment to you.
Since you're feeling things, you have two choices: either learn to manage your feelings or take it out on him now that you're together again. Breaking up is taking it out on him. It is a pyrrhic victory since breaking up punishes you just as much.
My advice: take a long look in a mirror and really ask yourself who you're honestly upset with. It sounds like you already understand that your reaction is envy and fear that you're masking with anger at him.
Either grow up or remain emotional immature. A lot of people refuse to be self aware and remain emotionally immature. It is an option that feels easier in the moment. This is the first time you have a choice. The next time you have this choice it will be harder to choose the option to manage yourself if you don't now.
Thats… so weird though!!
They see you as an easy lay. This is why I dislike hookup culture. It is harmful to women – you may think youre sexually open and exporing yourself but what do these men think of you? They don't respect you or see you as a person, they hang out around you because they think you're easy and will have sex with them. They are not your friends.
Charlotte craves a committed relationship, and that's why she is dating other men (as I said, we definitely would not be compatible). She says she wants to remain friends with me whatever happens (the way she put it is that the idea of losing me is painful), though she also says we might not be as close if she finds the right person. I accept that and definitely want the best for her.
Sophia honestly just seems to want sex. She told me she's never understood the point of romance, and she only recently moved out of her very conservative parents' place and wants to explore her sexuality. Early on, we did other things together as well, but even that always led to sex. She actually said she prefers it when we “just cut to the chase” like we do now.
I haven't discussed it so much with Emma, besides asking what she was looking for when we first met. She said that she mainly just wants someone in her life she can trust. Her family is a mess and she said she largely felt like she was on her own. She also said she's not opposed to it evolving into something more if it happens, but she's not seeking out anything like that and it's cool if it doesn't happen.
You’re 25. You want to spend the rest of your life with this guy? Cause I can’t imagine spending a week in this situation. If there’s no trust (and there shouldn’t be, he sucks) then there’s no relationship. You deserve so much more than this.
My mother is still a part of my life but I keep contact to a minimum. And to meet the rest of my family she will almost always be there. I’d rather avoid the whole thing entirely and just introduce the nicer side of my family. Thank you for the advice though ☺️
Jfc
Well we don’t have her side of the story on that because OP didn’t bother talking to her about it
I don’t think market rate is reasonable to aim for, but while it will be your home, it will not be your house.
And when you say you are willing to pay all the “operating costs”, does that include paying half of any property taxes, repairs, appliance replacements, renovations, damage, etc?
If the house needs a new roof or furnace are you comfortable with paying half of what might be many thousands of dollars into a house that you have no ownership of and have no equity in?
Personally, I think it would be smarter for both of you to agree on some amount for rent that could be used to cover the routine and unexpected, large costs that can be associated with homeownership. Then when those big costs come up, he is responsible for managing them since he is the home owner.
In your shoes I’d be happy to split routine, fixed costs for living together and then give my partner a couple hundred more a month so that they are fully responsible for the big house costs. I think it’s actually an excellent deal for you.