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Naomi, 19 y.o.
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Online Live Sex Chat rooms Naomi
Date: November 3, 2022
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Hello /u/CaptainMarder,
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He comes from a community where fat does not equal bad. You swoop in, are different and are trying to change him. You knew what he was when he started. He is resisting either because he is still in fat denial (all my family is fat and this is normal) or else he thinks you are being unreasonably controlling or demanding as many men do when women press on health issues.
I would take serious stock as to whether you have it in you to do the long haul with someone with a weight issue. He may lose weight for you, to hold on to you, only to pile it back on later. This may be a chronic, lifetime choice he is making.
Generally, I don't support other people putting on pressure to lose weight. You can candy coat it anyway you like (I am worried about your HEALTH, I don't want you to get SICK, I don't want you to become IMMOBILE), but all the fat person hears is “you are too fat for my liking”. This coupled with his excuse making suggests to me that a) he does not want to be told to accept your demands and b) he is not ready, willing or able to put into the work.
I think you reflect on that a bit more and decide if it is a relationship killer you where you impose an ultimatum.
Hello /u/ImpScum,
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‘Trying to put it in anyway’ is rape. No two ways about it. Sulking and pressuring you is coercion, which if you give in just to stop him being horrible to you, is also rape.
You deserve so much more. And believe me, he is not the perfect fiancé aside from these issues. These issues make him an abuser and a rapist. Do you want to marry a rapist? Eventually he will stop ‘trying’ to put it in and instead will hold you down and just do it. Or he’ll beat you. There is no future here, and I’m so sorry you are experiencing this and so young.
There are men out there that won’t do this to you. And even if not, being single is so much better than being raped.
I’m 21, and was raised the same way as him.
It’s definitely not normal and it’s likely remained this way due to stubbornness. In order to expand your palate, you have to first recognize that there’s something off about it.
It’s embarrassing as hell to say you don’t eat vegetables as an adult, it screams immaturity. So you start making changes, finding ways you DO like food.
Raw broccoli? Maybe I’ll try oven baked with oil and Parmesan.
Definitely not normal to still be holding on to this
Is it possible he has some preferences he’s trying to figure out? Could that be an ulterior motive for not being intimate with you?
Regardless, you deserve someone who will meet your needs emotionally or physically, and he can’t gaslight you when you bring it up by saying you’re overreacting. If he won’t talk to you about it, maybe he can talk to someone else or try therapy? And if not that, it may be time to recognize the relationship has reached its end.
Hope you guys can figure it but don’t think for one second that you don’t deserve someone who can meet your physical and emotional needs- it is not asking too much.
Yes, please run!
Is it possible she could be going through a depressive state? Dealing with stress?
“you can do it I just don't want to see it” is a pretty reasonable arrangement that I've had in previous relationships. At the same time it feels like her plan of not doing anything about it isn't going to work. Y'all need to sit down properly and discuss the issue as equals. I don't think grovelling is a good strategy because it's gonna make her feel like she needs to put her feelings aside for yours. You need to come at this appreciating how she's feeling and trying to come up with a compromise. And if it means you can only master bate when she's not in the house then that's just what you might have to do for the sake of your relationship