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Room for online sex video chat NadjaHeld
Model from: de
Languages: de,en,ru
Birth Date: 2003-02-04
Body Type: bodyTypeAverage
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
Hair color: hairColorBlonde
Eyes color: eyeColorBlue
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Date: September 27, 2022
a person in a serious relationship with a person they value and respect does not treat their partner this way. you have your partner as a safe card while you sniff for new more exciting girls. obviously you don't respect your partner and you always leave a gap in the door for new potential partners. would you think it was okay if your partner treated you like this? if she invited new guys with the excuse of “check the conversation, you have no proof”? you are a coward who does not dare to let your partner free to have the same conditions as you, before stepping over boundaries and inviting new potential partners into her safe place in your heart! you are already cheating and i am so sorry for your girlfriend. you should apologize and let her go!
Ok she does, but hasn’t in 3 year. She’s ASEXUAL with TRAUMA bro. Stop the mental gymnastics. It’s never going to get where you want it to be. Move on I promise you the next girl who you are actually compatible with will be the love of your life too.
I think if you don’t go to Christmas it might send a message. If it doesn’t…..he’s never going to get it.
Bust out the freaking white board and flash cards. “I make X a month, I have to pay Y a month for my debt. You want me to pay you back for this $335 expense, increasing January’s payment Z-fold. You also do not want me to work so many shifts so we can see each other. To pay you back for the expense of seeing your family, I have to work Z amount of extra shifts and will not have any days off to spend with you. You cannot have it both ways. You’re a smart man, but I feel like you are refusing to understand why this is so difficult for me. I cannot go into more debt to my boyfriend when my debt is one of the most stressful parts of my life. See you after Christmas.”
Unfortunately, OP, it sounds like as much as you might love your GF, you are seeing her weaknesses as a partner, which, coupled with her complete lack of initiative to change things, will make for a very difficult relationship. That goes double for if or when you start adding additional stressors such as marriage or kids. Even worse, you've not brought these concerns to her. You've simply been keeping a mental list and probably growing resentment over it. You're at a point now where there is so much on that list, that bringing it to her will seem like an attack, or, at best, just a list of impossible demands.
I'm going to be dead honest with you because I think it will help you to hear it. It's probably not going to feel nice, and I'm sorry about that.
I don't think you actually are IN love your GF. I think you might be in love who she could potentially be. I think you could be in love the idea of her you have in your head. But I don't think you are in love with who are is, right now. And knowing that you can't change people, that they have to change themselves? I'm not entirely sure you want what you think you want here. I think that you want a partner without all of these issues. But I don't think that partner necessarily has to be your GF, specifically. I also think that you have some weaknesses you could address. Communicating with your partner being number one on that list.
Had you brought these concerns to her when they arose or became apparent, not only could you have let her in on the eventual plan to build a life together, she would have had the opportunity to address those concerns, you know?
I can't tell you what to do here, OP. I'm just trying to give you some stuff to think about.
I had a neighbor have this happen on my text thread once.
I am deeply involved in his daughters life. He is a single father and I was her daycare provider. She is my daughters best friend.
We were talking about childcare and he sent me an obscene message
Turns out it was meant for a date he was having that night. It came accidentally to me. My husband and I laughed about it.
I’ve seen someone do that on a group fundraiser thread also. Accidentally thinking it was his wife’s private number.
I would first try to understand if he purposely sent it to you. Letting your current BF know about it and that it shocked you, also telling him your going to find out if it was an accident or intentional
If intentional set a boundary, if accidental just be sure it was truly and accident
In the mean time your BF can’t be made at you for something you do not have control over. If your relationship is good you should be able to just talk about it as if he is on your team and figuring out what to do.
If he can’t do that jealousy or struggle may exist in the dynamic and consider if help is needed to help him feel comfortable.
She’s MARRIED, so, NO. Please just give yourself some space if you need to get over your feelings (totally understandable) but do not pursue this at all.
I’m 22 and I wouldn’t date someone who is 22…
I know I just feel bad. I have her blocked for days. And she finds a way to contact me with the same old story. She loves me. She misses me. She wants to change and be better. Which lasts a week and then all hell breaks loose
in the back of my mind I know it isn’t possible. Hearing it from someone else helps me realise that i’m being irrational. Thank you ?
Yea but i feel bad bc we were kinda friends b4 this. At least associated enough to conversate
Could be dawn phenomenon for sure. You wake up feeling awful, angry, irritable.
How do you you tell him?
Can you not just say it in words?
Call Jackson galaxy
I had to scroll back up and look at your ages. This is ridiculous behavior for a 34 year old. You're better off without him. Stay strong and don't go back!
i dont know if youve ever spoken to a human being before but yes. you are expected to lie about shit like this. if i was the girl and had any sort of empathy at all for my partner i’d NEVER tell him some shit like this. if it was something i needed to do to get off during sex and i never had an intention of cheating on him then theres no reason to tell him and all the reasons to not. come up with a million excuses for the app, say i imagine you as jason mamoa, but not the exes. jeez bro
Hoping for more context here, but does your boyfriend socialize with friends when he's playing these games? If he is then that'll have to be a factor if you choose to talk to him about the issue.
Def from cuddling
Thanks for reading all that, I know it's a lot. That's good to know, I wasn't sure if I was going crazy or not, especially with the phone location thing.
I've never considered marriage counselling, idk why. I think there's just a lot going on in my head. The only thing I'm worried about is that she'll think I want to go because I think our marriage is failing or something. That's not the case, I do think it's a good idea to have an impartial third party help us out. Thanks for the advice and I'll look into it. I really want to make things work with her but I need my own space.
Because he donates to child charities? Because he supports using public money to make education more accessible to pregnant women and young mothers? Because he said he asked if I would be ok if when we had a family that we adopt/foster? Because he does community volunteering?
ANSWER – Apologise, Negative Self-shame, Worry, Evade and Repeat. – Just made it up, but that's more or less what it is.
WTF my god that’s terrible. I’m so sorry. This really is scary but it’s reality….
Give him the benefit of the doubt. Set some ground rules, just to be safe. You have value, remember that.
Thank you for your advice and taking the time to tell me this.
Not over reacting, next time he's intimate tell him, “you know what I'm too loose, maybe you shouldn't do this since I am”
You don’t apologise until she does. And even then I wouldn’t.
She was slandering and bashing you, your husband and your relationship. So she was being a condescending jealous bitch.
You didn’t do anything wrong.
In his own house? Seriously? What rubbish. I’ll bet if the mother had kept her mouth shut the daughter wouldn’t even have noticed.
Just got mine in my early 40s after being single for 14 years.
No one's saying the parents are punishing the child…interesting
HUGE, RED FLAGS…
ALERT ALERT ALERT
JERK INCOMING…..
He is negging you and insulting you by using his family as cover; he is marginalizing the value of you as a human being and making you feel less than, and then tops it off with expectations he wants you to be uneducated, chained to the kitchen and probably without money too.
I would kick him to proverbial Korean curb.
I don't think she's an ass clown I just want to understand how to make her respect my boundaries.
Yeah I need to have a serious talk with her
YOU DONT HAVE KIDS
I agree. It was a shitty thing he did waiting this long to make it clear that his line was her kids. If he really loved her that much, he wouldn't have strung her along like that. OP is amazing standing for her kids, but he's the reason she's hurting.
They still are mentally a child to me that is. I consider child to be everyone under 20 though for the most part. Until the person gets some experience and has fully developed I don’t really consider them an “adult”. This is just me though and you also are aloud to think and feel anyway you please.
Yeah, it totally sucks and TBH it is completely unexpected. I never thought he would be capable of something like this. Did you ever manage to get your SO to admit to wrong doing or did you end up leaving without closure?
1- thing, we weren’t fighting about her partying out, we used to fight about her drinking and when she got high and how she treated me after she got home and FaceTime me.
2- the 45 minutes thing was made so I’m sure she’s safe. (There’s 8 hours) difference so when she used to go out I just woke up.
3- will do.
I don't fault her for it being too much, but after 10+ years I think she at least owes op a conversation before jumping to divorce. Or even if her mind is made up about divorcing him, it's pretty shitty to leave him with zero explanation as to why.
Also her whole plan of moving many states away from op seems unfair towards her kids. She wants to very suddenly remove their father from their lives and she wants to create a situation where for the rest of their childhoods' they won't be able to have a real dad who will be there for them.
Sorry but your feeling here really aren’t the point.
You are upset because why? Because your dad is finding happiness? Because the two important men in your life tried to protect you from having this exact reaction?
You’re making this all about you. It’s not. No one betrayed you. No one betrayed anyone. You’re in your feelings and that is your responsibility alone. Coming here and getting defensive doesn’t seem to be helping.
Take a deep breath, call your therapist, take a walk, do something constructive. Because you’re spiraling right now and projecting your feelings onto the people who love you. That’s not fair or right.
He’s the perfect boyfriend because you’re in an LDR. It’s easy to be a perfect mate when you can do whatever you want and your partner isn’t around to find out about it.
You’re 28. Do you really believe the lies he’s telling you? C’mon now.