My (31f) mom, (64f) is going to drive me crazy with her comments about my third child.

My husband and I started dating 12 years ago, from that time, we both agreed that we only wanted two children, it was just a number we had agreed on, we both had it planned out. Five years ago we had our first child, we had the sweetest baby boy. At six weeks he was diagnosed with Infant Leukemia, he died at nine months old. It was hard, still is. It took us over two years before we talked about having another child. We had to spend time in therapy and everything and fully understand that this second baby was a new baby, not our first baby, if that makes any sense.

We had another little boy, he is now going on three in a few months and we are pregnant with our third. We have been very clear that this is our third baby (Little girl!), she will have two big brothers, one on earth and one that has died, our second son even mentions he had an older brother. On to the drama.

My mom had been my best friend basically for the bulk of my life, I love her dearly. She knew about our plans to have only two kids. She claims that we are replacing our oldest, I tried to explain that plans can and have changed, we want our second child to get a chance to have a sibling, for his kids to possibly have cousins (if both of our kids decide to want kids). I get that losing our son was hard on my whole family, but my husband and I still celebrate his birthday, we have a cake and ask what would have been spent on gift donated to a few childhood cancer research foundations.

TL;DR My mom is making moving on to the next stages of grief hard.