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HAND BRA [Multi Goal]
Date: November 3, 2022
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HAND BRA [Multi Goal]
My parents split up a long time ago since my dad caught my mom cheating and they decided that a divorce would be the best action. Me and my 2 younger siblings stayed with my dad and over time, it'll get better. Your mom deserves better and if the relationship is already ruined, it will usually only get worse the more they try to maintain status quo. Talk to your mom privately and let them settle this issue. I wish you and your siblings the best of luck
I would say that if this is an ingrained habit for him and he’s getting defensive every time you bring it up, it’s a strong indicator that he’s unlikely to change.
If you want to keep trying to get through to him, pick a time you’re both calm to have a come to Jesus talk with him. Let him know that his behavior is so hurtful to you that it’s putting your relationship at risk.
Keep the conversation on topic and do not let him sidetrack you or make himself the victim.
“You make me feel like a bad boyfriend” = “I am not attacking you as a person. I am discussing a specific set of behaviors. It’s important to be able to solve problems like this without taking it personally. Let’s work on solving this problem.”
“You make me feel like I’m always doing something wrong” = “I don’t want you to feel that way, but that’s a different conversation. Let’s make time to talk about that later. Right now, we are talking about you taking your anger out on me.”
If he can’t make a genuine attempt to fix this, then your relationship is probably over.
If the conversation goes well but the behavior resumes, don’t put up with it. Just leave. “Like I told you, I don’t accept being spoken to like this.” Then walk out.
All of this being said… if you have to try this hard to get someone to treat you with respect, the relationship probably isn’t worth it.
I'm sorry, but he's an adult. You've told him that you can't afford this, he understands. He just doesn't care. I know you don't want to hear this because you want to believe that it's 'not malicious', but if you've told him over and over and he just won't listen, then it IS malicious.
….I'm sorry what?
The break was from housework and childcare, yes? Not the relationship… How does Instagram give you herpes?
I am very confused
This has existed this whole time?!
I’d just say to be assertive but not rude. I don’t think playing the maturity card will play out as she will always be your dad’s girlfriend and never your mom.
Does it matter?
He is married aka not available. Find another man
Are you a mum of one, or a mum of two? Because right now, it sounds like you're raising 2 children in this house; your daughter and your BF.
Your BF needs to go on meds and needs to find a job. Money spent on him is money that's not going towards your daughter. Give him an ultimatum.
I don't consider this any different than a smut novel. There are thousands of novels written by women which contain very hard core and graphic depictions of things such as bondage porn. Just like smut novels, your boyfriend wrote this for a specific audience. He also has to be into the content in some way to be able to write it.
The porn writing is not concerning to me. The lame excuses are what would make me side-eye him. Yes, he was embarrassed to be caught writing it but his excuses are worse than anything I've ever heard. He just needs to flat out admit “yeah I wrote porn because it's the porn I like to watch. Doesn't mean I would practice this in real life if I could. I have morals and there are lines that cannot/should not be crossed”
Talk. To. Her.
It's not nice to assume she is playing games and not struggling with the right way to communicate with you. We never can determine others thoughts. In fact, we often guess wrong because we put our unconscious bias spin on it.
We usually don't ask because we are afraid of the answer. Why is it beneficial over doing nothing? If the answer is good – we can get on with it and not waste anymore time worrying for nothing. If it isn't good, we aren't wasting our time and we can get on with life.
3 years now
Your wife is going to end up like that mother who cyber bullied their own kid.
Just wanted to back this. Grew up in a very Christian home, parents were the same. “People who support abortion are baby killers” etc. until I popped up pregnant at 17 years old.
You’ll never guess who took me to get an abortion.
I disagree entirely.
His life includes his wife and the promises he made to her on their wedding day to be there, through it all. Sickness and health, for better or worse. They are going through the “worse” phase of those vows. Nobody knows how life will turn out. You can marry someone who is perfectly healthy who ends up with a horrible illness or injury.
His wife's health is no comparison to someone getting addicted to drugs while married. Addictions can be treated and addicts can choose to go into recovery.
People are free to be as selfish as they want to be, just don't do it at another human beings expense.
If you find out a friend stole from you a year ago, but you just found it out, would you not allow yourself to process and react to that how you would for a friend stealing from you today?
Because that is essentially what you are saying. You recently found out that he lied to you, hated your boundaries, and didn't respect you. But because he did it that long ago but you didn't find out until now, you aren't allowed to react?
So if anyone just lies or hides something from you for long enough, it's OK? You are rewarding them for how long they can lie and hide things from you?
I had a teacher embarrass TS out of me in high-school because my clothes smelt like cigarettes (my parents smoked with us in the car on the way to school) I've never touched a cigarette. I was an athlete, and in front of the whole class said “I can't believe you SMOKE at your age, and while you play sports”! I just turned bright red, and told him my parents smoke… All he said was “Oh”. No apology or anything.
Call the spca and tell them exactly what you told here. Tell them you don't want that his friend knows that it was you. Atm the dog is young enough to get trained right from a good person, so don't wait. If it stays with him it will bite him one day and will be put down.
You can continue to be spineless and date her and cry on a regular basis or you can find your ovaries text her its over and block her and her friends on everything. Then take a weekend or week out of town maybe move if you're coming up on that. You have complete control of your life and you're using it to make yourself miserable. She may change but not with you or for you.