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  1. Hey Op,

    As vexing as this feels, you might need to learn to let it go. Your friend sounds like she has an ego or self-esteem problem as her reaction isn't guilt-filled non-stop apollogies but to tell you that she's the “bigger person”. Your friend is dillusional if she genuinely believes she is morally the superior in this situation. Your friend is either a liar & jealous or she is dilusional.

    As for your BF, if you really intend on staying with him, you need to set boundaries and not let him take you emotionally hostage anymore. Him telling you he was trying to self-destruct and only stopped when he realized he couldn't live without you is too much imposed emotional guilt to put on a partner.

    OP your best bet is to stop interacting with this friend who insists on calling herself the bigger person. I'm not sure if your friend can be talked to if she genuinely sees this issue the way she does.

  2. Only you can really answer that question, even if it really isn't one. We can't decide what you should or should not put up with. I think most here would say break up, but that's usually the general consensus here anyway.

    The better question, why on earth would you want to move to the US?

  3. OP's BF can do better. Maybe he doesn't have a good support system outside of the relationship, many men often don't. As a result, he's sticking around in a toxic space to at least have a roof over his head until his move-in date, trying to play it as chill as he can for his own personal safety. You know, due to the screaming and hitting that OP has said she does.

    Would you want to drop the breakup bomb on someone like that when you still need a place to sleep for a few weeks and paying for a hotel room would mean burning up your deposit money? Or would you play the long game like he is?

  4. You're purposefully twisting my words for sympathy. If you're to much of a dick to take computer paper and write a message that says you love your mom then don't go and get gifts from your mom. It takes 2 minutes to write something down to be nice then don't goooooo. The fact that op won't even hand out cards says what you need to know. He is going to a gift giving event, getting gifts from others, then complaining that everyone feels awkward that he doesn't even take the time to write a Christmas card.

    No one said he's not spending enough money they asked him to bring something. Now if he made Christmas cards and people complained then they're the asshole but knowing everyone will get gifts including him and showing 0 empathy or care to do an absolutely free thing that will allow him yo participate makes him the asshole.

    If you want to play tag but when you get tagged you scream you're not gonna play anymore is a dick move. Yes your boundary can be that you will only receive gifts and not give them but that does not make you less of an ass for having that boundary. There are FREE gifts OP can give don't participate in a gift giving event and get mad people want you to also be part of the event.

  5. Err. No means no. Consent means enthusiastic ongoing voluntary yes.

    He ignored both of these for his own satisfaction and attempted to guilt you into continuing (aka coercion).

    Tell him to go F himself and get some help do the anger issues.

  6. Not only is the blackmail illegal but so is distributing nudes without consent. Not gonna lie, i'm honestly angry on my husband's behalf for that. I fully believe he should have his right to privacy if this was just virtual stuff. Something I feel I deserve some knowledge about but if its nothing physical, this is just a different form of porn to me and I don't consider it cheating. I'm pretty angry with the lying though. But yes, he's firm on filing a police report. We will be doing that when he gets back.

  7. For what it’s worth. I’ve been with my wife for 30 years and never cheated. It’s not that big a deal. Your ex is trying to justify his behavior by saying every man acts like him. That’s a child’s logic.

  8. Well, we already talked about this guy before. She said she clearly stated to be married and he responded that he'd respect that. In her mind this is the past and I shouldn't worry, however this is just weeks ago.

    I'll talk with her again and put my feelings about this on the table.

  9. They're cuddling and giving massages?

    That's not a friend or coach in any way.

    That relationship is not a platonic one at all.

  10. Yeah, that’s what I always tell myself. I want to believe it’s only a phase because she is stressed so much. But it doesn’t seem to improve unfortunately. I might try to talk with her again, thanks.

  11. Just so I can understand the pipeline of your husband's behaviour/thinking here:

    can't stand up to his friends >>> bullies you >>> but happy to reap the benefits of all your hard work and motivation >>> still reserves the right to give you shit about it and punish you emotionally so you feel terrible

    This person sounds like an entire waste of space fumbling around in the shoes a partner should be wearing. He's chronically negging and gaslighting you so you won't wake up and leave him.

    He said inside I'm still I'm still the same fat girl no matter what I do

  12. Man! Get rid of that fake Insta and grow up a little..what reason has she given you to doubt her loyalty? If the answer is any then move on. A relationship without trust just doesn't work. If the answer is none then you have a lot of growing up to do, man.

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