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miaandwilliam chat
Date: October 27, 2022
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miaandwilliam chat
Ultimately I think we still just need time figuring each other (and ourselves) out before committing to marriage. Every adult in my life has been through a really rough divorce and I really would just love to avoid that.
You need to tell her this and have a conversation about the things you are looking to figure out. I dated my wife for 5 years before getting engaged, and after about 2 years she threw hints like your GF.
We talked it through and I laid out what you are laying out here and said that I do want to get married, I'm not sure about the timeline yet, but I wanted to be financially stable and out of school/graduate school at the very least, and then listed a few things that I thought we needed to work on so we were comfortable that our marriage would be good.
In my case that was something like:
1) communication – my wife tended to hold grudges and get upset but not tell me in the moment or even for weeks afterwards until it all built up and she was cold and angry (despite me asking if something was wrong) until it exploded in an argument and “you should've known!” BS. I said that was not how a mature couple communicates and she needed to tell me when something I did made her upset or else I couldn't justify getting married if we still had those fights.
2) On the same page with kids and parenting and timelines around that after getting married
3) Be willing to move outside our area if job opportunities came up (my wife is very attached to the area we live in and she's never lived anywhere outside of about a 30 mile circle) or whatever.
You need to talk to her about the things you're unsure about so that you can get on the same page and figure it out. You're just saying “I don't know” or “sometime” doesn't help and it's likely driving her nuts which is making her anxious and causing fights or disagreements or whatever.
So talk. That's your answer.
At 30 she should be past that phase.
That lack of maturity is another real to leave now.
What festival is this?
This is where I was at originally, but I'm going to give the benefit of the doubt that she might be letting her excitement cloud her judgment.
What to do? It depends on if this issue is a showstopper for you. Only you can answer that.
Do you plan to have kids? Are you having sex with risky bc?
I’m not sure why they felt the need to tell you there was something for you you’ll never get. Why couldn’t they keep that to themselves?
OP, what did you say in response?
I suspect he got caught cheating by his wife and she forced him to come clean.
Run man. Seriously. Break up and never look back.
Think about baseball lol
I would second that.
A midwife telling me police had called her after a man had a car accident.
HUH? Sounds like big bs!
No way they would EVER! They would call at his home. Not at a random midwife!
HOW did they even get the idea of her having anything to do with a man?
NO way she is allowed to talk to them about OP without OPs consent.
And NO way they called her.
ASK POLICE! (What police, btw?)
Stay clear of this midwife. She voluntarily makes you worried.
WHY? Midwives don't behave this way!
Because it isn't your responsibility. I have a problem with asking my SO for money under any circumstances, much less trying to passive/aggressively manipulate them into it. I feel sorry for the first woman who decides to join finances with this guy.
I have been married for over a decade to a slob. My husband has ADHD and is one of the messiest people I’ve ever met. Unlike your partner, though, he does try. We’ve implemented strategies like having a waste basket by his high traffic areas and laundry baskets for him in almost every room. I have to remind him to shower, brush his teeth, change, etc. It’s something that I’ve decided to accept and deal with because his positive traits make it worth it. He’s successful overall but it’s the small things that get him.
So you will probably have to deal with it forever if you choose to stay with him. And his dismissive attitude towards your requests are concerning.
Absolutely, that is exactly my impression as well. It seems pretty clear from the evidence. She shows every sign of trying to dodge inappropriate advances from her neighbor's husband while preserving her son's friendship with their kid. How can people not see that? Blaming her for his behavior with zero evidence she has done anything wrong. Why not put that energy into confronting her husband rather than disrupting that hard working exhausted single mother's dinner with her son? Also totally inappropriate to discuss in front of her kid
You're being abused, and you deserve so much better. Think of all that she did over the course of your trip and throughout your entire relationship. Then, picture if the genders were reversed and it was your sister or mother or cousin telling you her partner did all of those things. You'd advise her to leave the abusive prick, wouldn't you? Think about that, please.