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Date: October 20, 2022
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It’s not that. We’ve gone out but now he’s left to help his family situation
Contact the authorities and protect yourself.
You need to leave this guy alone or he's going to escalate to the police.
Your mom might be next
Tell him it's time to switch roles and see how well he does.
It doesn’t matter. She didn’t follow through. Stop asking for her time.
i had an unhygienic boyfriend. it’s fucking disgusting and absolutely a reason to leave.
No you are not. Take things slower and wait for her to grow up. Do less and do be her parent
I think you’re right
Fucking yuck!!
Bro I read both posts, and alot of the comments Imho you're very strong in your feelings and convictions. I'm not sure if any advice given, you'd consider. Sometimes in life there are somethings you're gonna have to figure out..and this maybe one of them. Good luck in your endeavors.
so he groomed you…
Still not her responsibility. Cheating is cheating regardless
It is extremely difficult for a man to report sexual assault or rape. And forcing him to go through further humiliation and degradation will do nothing for his mental health.
This is just my opinion on this situation.. I in no way think that my opinion is right or wrong because I think everybody has the right to live their lives how they see fit…
This would bother me. I wouldn't be able to get the idea out of my head that if my girl was this quick to like the idea of an open relationship that she would eventually either leave me or cheat on me. I know that doesn't mean she would, but my head would always go there. I'd find it extremely difficult to get past that thought process. Even if she said that she'd only do it if I was ok with it, I'd still think it's just a matter of time!
I can't stress enough that this is just my mindset tho and I don't think your relationship can't continue happily! Best of luck with whatever you decide man!!
Ugh, autocorrect didn’t save me that time. Thanks for alerting me. I edited.
Thank you ? It totally is a deal breaker for me especially since it went on for so long 🙁 I feel like I wanna talk it out with him but it will be a dead end, but also he’s been talking about getting married for so many months which makes it even more confusing for me ? Do you have any tips on an exit strategy? Should I inform him of when I want to leave, or just move in silence?
Yeah op your dad cheated on you too man. He decided to throw away spending everyday with you and did something that fundamentally broke your family.
Your step mum knew he was married with a child and broke that family willingly. Then had a child with your dad herself. Essentially breaking your mum's family for her own.
I don't think you hate your mum. I do think your entirely self centered and likely deserving of your pos father.
Seriously your post and replies are hard to empathise with.
Oh, your cock and balls are unsightly to me, please remove them, hastily.
he reassured me a lot by saying i’m the only girl he’ll ever want emotionally and he’ll never cheat on me but he can’t control what his dick wants, even if he loves me the most. he always blames it on us not living together and says that when we do live together, this wouldnt happen anymore.
RED FLAGS. Like six of them! He has not only clearly disrespected your boundaries, he skirted past them and then blamed you for it! This guy has got to go. I’m sorry this has happened, but this is all on him. Not you. I really hope you can find the strength to kick this guy to the curb. There’s someone else out there that deserves your attention and love more than this dude, but let that first person be you.
If you both are into polyamory it's workable but complicated. Otherwise one person just wants to cheat.
OP, next time make the stories a little different. This (and the wife's story in /r/marraige) is fake as hell.
My wife got mad at me once because I told her she didn't have to pick me up after a minor surgery. It was minor, and she was going to be at work, but she was pissed that I'd even suggest taking an uber, she's like “I'm your wife, OF COURSE I'm going to be there when you get out and take you home!”
Good points
Just dump her.
Ikr, some on here are even trying to get her to play games to get him jealous and win him back!? :S wtaf, lol
I agree. I have an ex who did the same and it seemed doctor-worthy
OP, you haven’t said anything about how you feel about him! You love the date??? But do you love this guy?? You don’t seem scared of losing him at all, just not having the wedding.
Believe it or not, I was in this exact situation once – partner with anxiety, lots of money and pride involved, and sentimental date. But I didn’t really love him; and I think he was anxious because he knew that.
I cancelled the wedding and left him. It was the best decision I ever made. You can not go into a wedding wondering if he will show up or if he means it – you’ll end up with crippling anxiety too.
Cut your losses and move on, there’s no going back after this. You think you know why he thinks this way, but you never know exactly what someone else is thinking or what else might have happened to him.
Please, cut your losses, you will feel so much better and open yourself up to something else new and wonderful.
I’m sorry. Long distance rarely works and only when both people are making a big effort to stay connected and see each other as often as possible. This is clearly not happening. She’s not even trying. I would suggest moving on or at the very least taking a break.
If your money really is that tight, then lay it all out for her and ask her for a solution. But brushing her off will cause resentment.
Have you talked through all of the important things related to marriage aside from living together? Are you on the same page regarding finances, children, your respective future goals?
From what it sounds like, it’s probably too early to consider taking the next step.
Also, why would you have to move to his area if you do move in together? Is there nothing between Sydney and where he’s from?
OP I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Your pos (hopefully ex) bf is behaving so abominably and you don't deserve this at all. This is not the type of man you want to be tied to for the rest of your life. We're I in your position, I would be making the same choices. I'm sending you so much love and strength. You're doing so well, you're so strong, and it's going to be ok. xxx
If this is how he is now, when he has still his work responsibilities to manage…I don’t imagine it’s going to get better when he’s out and suddenly unemployed, with no one holding him accountable. You’ll likely be dealing with the same guy, just in a different location.
What are you getting out of this relationship?
This is one of the worst abuse posts I've ever seen
I think he said that she wouldn't enjoy it and OP was referring to herself with the “I”. Not positive, it's written in a confusing way.
No but the sheer fact that can lift more than he weighs over my head. If I was to pick him up and simply drop him the chances of him getting hurt are there
They are quite normal, and I often make “your mom” jokes with my friends as well. However, it is good to let your friends know as well if you personally feel uncomfortable when people make those jokes; real friends should respect those boundaries. I have personally had a few friends draw those boundaries with me because they’re from a different culture and were uncomfortable, and I just stop making those jokes around them.
Again my man, I would just be speculating. Effort presents itself in many different ways. Maybe her idea of effort is different than your own.
Or.. maybe you're correct, you put in a lot more effort. She may simply not care or have it in her to do so, to be that 'serous' in a relationship.
Think the point is, you BELIEVE she isn't putting in enough effort, which is a valid complaint. If talking to her about it or communicating this fact is impossible as she won't hear it – then your options become quite limited.
Usually the grieving party would state the problem to their partner and meet half way to resolve the grievances. This is the bases of relationships.
If this doesn't work, you can 'put up or shut up' as they say. Break it off for your own mental wellbeing, finding someone who is a better fit. Or come to terms you'll simply be the one putting more effort in.
You haven’t asked your boyfriend why you’re not in this group chat?
As a lesbian, I can’t stand this stuff. It really contributes to biphobia and the WRONG stereotype that bi people are cheaters. There are many people even in the lgbt community that think this as well and it’s horrible. It also doesn’t help that a lot of women will get “consent” to cheat, if their man can join/watch and go on dating websites to lure bi women only to tell them they’re a couple looking for a third. No one wants to be an experiment or to sleep with your gross bf/husband!
He's a dirt bag. No one who loved you would push you into any of this. If there are any recordings, delete them yourself. Then break up with him and block him everywhere and get yourself into therapy. No partner is worth this.
Where I come from, violence is the typical response to someone slapping your wife. It doesn’t matter who it is. You also mentioned normalized violence without mentioning the slap.
Make the face where you pull your bottom lip down to expose your bottom teeth. It’s the “eek” cringe face. After she explained that I knew what face he was making, and it’s a negative face. Not a face you should make when someone is complaining about an insecurity.
Sorry to say this but you’re most definitely the other woman.
So many people wish (fantasise?) doing this. Your husband is pretty dumb actually doing it, even if he had the job secured.
An old employer skrewed me over once. Thankfully, I was in a position to be able to give my 2 weeks on the spot. Everyone I told I was leaving and why alway told me what 'they would have done in my shoes'. Lots of it included 'sticking it to them' and doing all this crazy walk-off on the spot crap lol. In the end, I can still use them as a reference amd they'd still rehire me.
Honestly, 8’s pretty good. If you go on the truerateme subreddit and look at their rating scale you’ll see that you’re in very good company, like Margot Robbie standard.
He should have continued the sentence like “you’re an 8 but to me you’re a perfect 10”
So you only met recently, you're not official, she's going on a holiday with another man, and for some reason you have agreed to pay for it?
Bro, no one would be ok with any of that, except the person who is clearly using you.
While I get your upset about people being anti monogamy a lot of us poly people are VERY committed and put a lot of work into our relationships. It’s an unfair assumption to think that we can’t commit or anything of the sort.
I’ve been in a very stable loving and committed poly relationship for over 10 years (our 11th anniversary is coming up soon!!) and we’re just as committed as a monogamous relationship!!
It’s not mental health issues. It’s you refusing to take responsibility for your mental health. If you purposefully not taking the meds you need to positively navigate life. It’s you purposefully choosing to do something that not only negatively affects your (ex) gf, but so,etching that you admit wrecks her.
There are many easy things you can do make sure you have your meds. You should have done them, please do them for your future.
You are entitled to your opinion. Unfortunately, ours differ.
Spelling it our clearly, is helpful. If it isn't for you that is perfectly fine.
It’s just not true, you’re generalizing. You don’t know, you might suggest, but you don’t know. And to be fair, I don’t know either for sure. But I know “throwing up” doesn’t have to equal manipulating, not learned behavior (which is basically the same as learned behavior). There’s so many other options, that’s honestly more common than to manipulate, especially since she has so high anxiety that she needs meds.
Literally came here to say this.
I know it can be a pain, but change your phone number if you can too.
And when that day comes……be happy with someone else
“We believe in gender roles” Gross, but okay, sure, let's go with that then.
This “traditional” role BS would mean that since he makes good money he pays for EVERYTHING. So, to be clear, not only does he not pay rent but he also pays for absolutely 100% of your personal expenses. After all, you're a woman, so your job isn't to work but to do 100% of the cooking, cleaning and childcare (if you have kids).
So, if you haven't figured it out yet, your boyfriend is using “gender roles” as an excuse to make you do all the housework and cooking while he contributes nothing to the household. He's using you and taking advantage of you. And because you're trying to convince yourself this is your “role,” you're letting him.
I would definitely be upset if my wife had people over when I was sick.
It's not like your parents live 2000 miles away and they see the kids once or twice a year. You said that they can come back next week.
Yta.
If he’s stalking the internet for ladies because he gets bored, let him be single and bored. You’ve already had chats with him and he clearly doesn’t give 2 shots about your feelings. I’d say it’s time to move on from this toxic relationship.
You would have liked to be included, but you weren't and you let him know it bothered you. This seems like a normal reaction, since in the past he's been excited to share ideas and plans leading up to it and this time it was just a statement of this is happening.
It doesn't seem like you're upset about the tattoo, just the fact you weren't included in the way you were accustomed to. And frankly I would be hurt by that too.
If he doesn't get how that would upset you, there may be more to talk about as to how you communicate within your relationship.
There’s not point in expressing your disgust for him. he knows hes disgusting but doesn’t care! Go grab your bike & say your last goodbye.
It’s a fantasy, dude. If you can’t separate the two, then that’s on you.
Why are people at a bike race teaching condom use?
Uh, just throw it in the toilet and flush? He’ll never know lol.