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Date: November 6, 2022
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I thought y’all were dating…but I think you guys need to talk about what you guys are. If you keep supporting her the way you are and let you guys say “I love you” etc the line between being exclusive will blur. She also does need to see therapy especially if she wants to better herself. I say this as someone who was dealt with SA by a family member. But you really want to figure where you are placed. Like will you continue like this for two years? Five?
As someone who recently started calling out red flags, and has been cheated on by every man she's been with including the one im with now, TELL THAT MAN TO EITHER COME CLEAN OR KICK ROCKS
Hes hiding something.
Whenever I would point out inconsistencies that would be the same reaction from my cheating partner. Immediately get defensive and “how dare I question them” attitude.
You deserve better
I thought derpy was stupid in a good way.
I think your husband is just lazy and doesn’t feel the need to change his behaviour because he knows you’ll take care of everything. Helping someone to not drown is all fine and dandy but when it causes you to drown yourself it is clear you should first save yourself. You can’t save someone if you’re dead.
Damn dude. This is painful to read. She’s a liar and I would definitely cut contact for something like this, but that’s just me. As you said yourself, this isn’t a tinder hook up. This was a someone you trusted, who LIED TO YOU TO FUCK YOU. If the roles were reversed, you would be an asshole. This person who did this to you, is definitely a fucking asshole.
Stick with those friends of yours who are all ready on your side. They seem like good people. I hope you recover and find the person you’re looking for.
Just to add that it feels like the lack of support from your parents and even the way that they are using the things you bought seems to me to be invalidating you, which may be a pattern for you to not be listened to.
Your post also feels like you are very anxious about your health, which is natural to be so, but perhaps if you are a naturally anxious person might be the reason they are not paying much attention to your needs.
There are lots of things you can do to reverse pre diabetes without drugs, so that is good. The PCOS is going to be challenging i am sure and will probably mean that having children will be harder but not necessarily impossible down the road.
I have some more advice about foods and other things you can do without money to improve your health so stick with it and look for support other than your parents. r/PCOS might be useful r/prediabetes as well.
reversing pre diabetes fast
When everyone around me has it figured out and is happy and going on dates. I wish that were me so bad. But I can’t win like other men. I feel like I’ll be at peace in the end though. It wont natter when we all die. Im just a blip in history.
I took OP as saying the lack of back up camera for that the car wasn't just a beater, but old. Like, end of car life beater levels. Beaters, back up camera or not, are financial sink holes.
Sex and attention.
You sit her down and have a serious talk.
You tell her that you are independent adults, and she is not entitled to your time. That telling her “no, today is not a good day for you to visit” is not a direct and personal insult, it is a boundary that you are allowed to make because you are adults living in your own home that is not her home. You end by telling her that if she continues to refuse to respect you as independent adults and continues to be childishly abusive when things don't go her way, that she will not be welcome in your home at all.
If she continues to show up at your door uninvited, you tell her once that if she doesn't leave, you're going to call the police on her for trespassing and harassment. And then you follow through.
You don't ask people like this. You tell them. If they don't change, you take action. You will never see her start to respect you if you're only asking. Asking gives her room to ignore you.
Idk, it sounds like he was trying to participate and join in other ways, also hiding his softy. But I guess we can never know really if we weren't there
You're absolutely wrong lol. There are lots of places where land is next to useless (no running water, no cell service, not close to any cities). You cannot always assume any of your experiences are relevant because of how diverse the country is, in all facets.
The old man wasn't even paying the taxes on it for likely years and intentionally pulled a “gotcha” on this guy with the taxes.
Why have you stayed so long? You aren’t going to change him now. Leave. You deserve better.
Months?!?! You're joking, right?? It should have been at least a year before you introduced them. You're selfish AF
You asked the daughter??? That was not ok putting her in that position. It’s a bit creepy that you even want to wear underwear and no shirt around kids that are not yours.
You need to take this as a break up, it’s tough but she’s not responsible for your feelings right now, you need to reach out to other people in your support system
Look, if he doesn’t want to put labels on it, then you don’t do it either. There is no boyfriend – girlfriend relationship. So you can date whoever you want. You are two independent individuals.
Legally speaking, that would be a conflict of interest. And I haven’t seen mention of way he does for a living which would qualify him; is he working in mental health right now? If so, he should be aware of the laws and ethics; if not, you do not paint a picture of a qualified therapist.
Either start fucking around yourself or leave her.
just remember, she threw this away, not you. agreeing with the comment above, after 5-6 years, she would have known what kind of person you really are. jokes on her, she's going to feel really stupid after realizing she had a good thing. I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Spot on.
Look dude.. you have good intentions.. but as her boyfriend, you don't have the right to practically kidnap her from a party and take her home. I know you had good intentions but this is something she needs to figure out on her own. You did it now give her an ultimatum. If you're not cool with her behavior, tell her and if she doesn't change her behavior, don't change it for her but walk away. Let her learn those lessons on her own.
I can’t believe she would do this to me no matter how drunk she was.
She did, and he did. Divorce your husband and go NC with your sister.
And that means he’s a crap therapist if you are his client. It’s illegal in fact to be screwing your patient.
in one of your comment you said you eventually want to divorce him. This is good. Find a job and when you divorce he’ll have to pay child support.
They bonded and talk together and come to you thinking you’d be pleased with this. You cried and left but it wasn’t enough for them.
when you came back was there any questions why you changed your mind or they were so happy you finally say yes and didn’t care about your feelings.
They wanted all. Now that the initial fun is over and they see what they have done they feel guilty and put the blame on you.
Your friend is trying to gaslight you she cherished your husband more not you. So is your husband. I hope you find a way out soon. Your children will also be happier with a happy mother.
Punch Bob.
This
Extremely well, apparently she had a big crush on me too when we were young!
Yeps I've told my bf he needs not ask I will send when I want to not because of him but because of an ex who would ask constantly
I hope you told Sarah where to go and didn’t attend after party?
You’ve been listening to too many insecure boys with microphones. Break up with her then. She deserves a better man anyways.
You DID take a charge and did it right. If she's interested, she'd suggest another date (“i can't that day, what about friday?”), bc that is the way how mutual interest works. Pursuing other person again and again is not, your friends are wrong about that.
I think it's pretty obvious, regardless of whatever reason, he did not want you present for a dinner with his ex and her two siblings.
That right there tells everyone else that he doesn't want to be reminded he's married and wants to do whatever he wants.
Sorry, but a husband wouldn't do this to his wife. He would have at least explained why and asked if that was okay with you.
You have a husband problem, OP. And if he won't be honest then you need to decide if you want this type of relationship or not for the rest of your life.
Be thankful the universe gave you confirmation she is a terrible human being. There’s no such thing as closure. Move on with your life.
This is how it starts. Before you know it, Shea skipping showers, laying in bed all day and basically letting life go by without even trying to get any help. In another 7 yrs you'll be back here relating the same story, only it'll be so much worse but then. If she doesn't even want to address what could possibly be the problem, you have a serious problem. I don't know why people here are acting as if YOU are the problem. If you've tried to approach this calmly, what else are you supposed to do? Drag her to the bathroom? No. It's up to her to be pro active in her life.
Let’s be real, he doesn’t actually believe that it’s the same as porn, it just helps him feel better about his shit choices.
You know who never thinks their being paranoid? Paranoid people.
It’s probably over my man. I’m really sorry. Hinge on the phone during a 4 year relationship really ought to be a dealbreaker, I’d say. Trust your gut.