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undress me [Multi Goal]
Date: October 30, 2022
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undress me [Multi Goal]
He was trapped at the store? He stood and talked to me instead of getting inside of his car LOL you have no idea what you're talking about. I said I see fault in my behavior already, and I said I acted this way only because I got dumped over text after 4 years, anyone would be “unhinged” as it doesn't make any sense.
Nothing
Wtf, sexual trauma or not, if my partner told me that, I’m out. Basic human decency and common sense to not say something like that to ur partner about an ex.
Warning: a low libido person often will slow down as the relationship progresses, presuming we can call 3x a week low, but maybe we can’t.
Point is people often drift farther apart in terms of sexual desire and it only gets more frustrating and annoying for both. So, if you really aren’t compatible you may need to accept it and be kind to both of you by moving on.
I want to let you know that MANY people do indeed learn how to manipulate so that you THINK you’re doing the courting but you’re following the breadcrumbs laid down. This is a common thing. “Players” talk about it all the time. Men and women have their different ways of doing it but it absolutely happens. There’s a way to plant seeds to make someone pursue you AND have them think that it is all their idea. And honestly – you were 13. Not that 13 year olds aren’t smart or anything like that – but 13 is much more innocent than many realize
I've often struggled with similar feelings to what you have now. I am bipolar and can become extremely hypersexual and often do, say or think things I wish I didn't. As far as “sexualizing” every woman I find attractive, I feel like that's not exactly a choice? I think the real problem lies in the fact that you feel guilty about this because it's something you don't want to be doing. In which case I recommend therapy. Also DON'T EVER pinhole yourself into thinking that you KNOW FOR A FACT HOW YOUR BRAIN FUNCTIONS. For all you know you've just convinced yourself all this shit is true and it's become a self fulfilling prophecy since you think it's just the way you are. Best of luck.
Dump her
I am a bit confused by your description of his drinking. On the one hand, you talk about him having 2-3 drinks rather than 1. And you say this only a few times a month.
But, you say the doctor has raised concerns about his liver health. You talk about drinking enough to nearly vomit. You talk about the 4:30 am when he needs to be at work today in five hours. This isn’t indicative of say 12 drinks a month (four times a month, three drinks). I suspect he drinks more than you are aware of.
He has an alcohol problem. You have to decide whether him addressing the issue is a precondition of you continuing your relationship with him. You can’t control what he does but you can control what you choose to accept.
Find a good dog trainer!
YOU need to apologize?!?! Absolutely NOT! Fuck her!!!! You need to go NO CONTACT with her and anyone else who thinks you reacted badly. You poor thing I am so sorry. But, I do want to say, the suicidal aspects are troubling. Your immediate thought was to kill yourself. Not to go to your husband about it. I’m so sorry for that pain she caused but you may want to consider therapy. That much dependency on a person is not okay. But I’m glad you and him are okay.
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A high school boyfriend when you are 17 doesn’t really count. She spent 8 years of her life with you after that. You have to accept she wanted something different.
When I was 22 I broke up with the guy I spent 7 years with. I just fell out of love overtime. For the following 2 years he was reaching out trying to get me to confess I cheated. I didn’t, I wasn’t in a relationship for years afterwards, but he couldn’t accept I just didn’t love him anymore.
Often the easiest answer is also the truth.
Just run. Not worth any of it.
All of this ignores why either of you are cheating. There's a reason, or many, and that is why you should be breaking up. It's not really about the cheating, it's about the relationship that isn't working.
That's a good question and a great assessment of the situation. I feel the same way; the traits that made me fall in love with him in the first place are almost completely gone.
The friends I’ve brought into my kids’ lives have been incredible, strong, intelligent people. All people go through stuff and have had moments of instability but no one has ever harmed or even come close to harming them.
“We should be allowed to experiment in our young age once”
“But you’ve already cheated”
“Well yes, but what about second cheating?”
Sweetheart, your wife is a lesbian.
The two of you need to have deep down discussion, because your marriage is not meant to last.
Sorry.
Oh my gosh. Please, get away even if it's just to talk to a friend about this, my feeling is (and it's just my feeling) my first thought was with how easily he put cuffs on you, did it make you wonder at all of where those cuff have been before and after they have been on you?
The main issue isnt telling your daughter to not call this man uncle but to sit down & have a conversation with your wife about what role her bf & future partners will take in your childs life. Then you need to have a second conversation with the bf & set these boundries out for him.
You have to get your mental health under control. Lithium is the gold standard for bipolar for a reason, I know I’m on it. You have to get yourself well. Keep working with a good doctor.
He found it and deleted his stuff while I was snooping. He knows what’s happening.
My bf literally shaved my (28F) hair for me, both of us giggling the whole time. If a haircut made the feelings go away, it was just a crush for her. You can do better, bro.
He was in the room when I smelled it, so of course I asked him first… It’s not like my mom would know, she physically can’t get up to this floor, since she can’t use stairs, and my sons were in at home when I smelled this… So really, who else would I have asked at that moment?
Who pays the bills in your lives? You work one day and can't get out of bed for 3 days. Spend your tips on weed. He's playing video games all day. How do two nearly 30 year old full grown adults who behave this way get by?
I read it as “my mom is in charge, Julia helps her.”
Not “those are grandmas children and Julia helps her”. I don’t understand why you’d assume that at all.
You’re missing the point:
It’s not about a preference for Magic Mountain, Knots Berry Farm, or Disney. It’s about you planning a big outing with your family that you showed her she wasn’t a part of.
You can’t do this act over, but here is what you should have done:
“Daughter, wife and I would like to take (younger kids) to Disney Land. This is part of their Christmas present. We think it would be really awesome if we could go as a family and that you’d join us. Is this something that you would be interested in doing with us?”
If she starts saying things like- she can’t afford it. Then you follow up with:
“Just like this is a Christmas present for (younger kids) we’d like to make this your present too.”
This shows her you want her there as part of the family. If she says “no” because she would rather have a MacBook, then you follow up with.
“Ok, but I really hope that we can find ways to spend more time together as a family. It’s really great having you around.”
You see this as 100% about money. You’re not understanding how this is about rejection.
I felt that.
He’s definitely seeing someone else. File for divorce. Don’t let someone treat you so badly.
You should make him Spaghetti-Os and see what he does.
A *cis woman. I am not heterosexual.
Thats not the rule of relationships, yours were just awful. Don't trick this man into giving up his autonomy because youve only dated selfish people
I have thought a lot about this and agree. We’ve talked about hanging out and I don’t want to press him. I think I want to jump the gun and tell him bc I have all of these new feelings that I haven’t allowed myself to fully feel for a long time, but I don’t want to overwhelm him. I think waiting for the natural time to tell him makes much more sense. I have a feeling I’ll know when that time is here.
The issues you describe are a fundamental compatibility issue and are not going to change after a 'break'. They might for a bit but then it'll start all over again. A break would just drag out the break up.
Ok, this might be a dumb analogy but just trying to get through to OP, so bear with me…
Imagine you want to make a big, important purchase. Say, a couch. You don't want to purchase the wrong one, since it's an important decision, so you spend 5 years researching, price comparing, reading reviews, until you've decided on which couch to buy. You're confident that's the couch you want, but for whatever reason, you don't feel the timing is right to make the purchase yet. You have the funds, you know what you want but it's a big decision and a big change and you'd rather wait another 5-10 years to fully prepare yourself for buying this couch.
Then, someone comes along and says “why the heck don't you just purchase the dang couch if you've already decided that's the one you want?!” and puts it in your online shopping cart. You're one simple click away from purchasing your couch! But now you're feeling anxious and reluctant to hit the “purchase” button because it's all happening “so fast”. When in fact, you've already had 5 YEARS to contemplate and ALREADY MAKE this decision!
…If this is really the woman you want to marry, she is giving you the opportunity to still make that happen. She's even trying to help make taking this next step easier by helping pick out the ring and everything. Please realize that waiting years and years will not only be unlikely to make you feel any more “ready” than you do currently, you will also miss out on the opportunity to have this woman as your wife. So even if you did feel ready then, you might not be able to find someone you want to settle down with!
However, if the reason you are reluctant to propose is because you're having doubts about spending the rest of your life with her, please do some soul searching and determine why and if there are things you can work on with her or if it's better to part ways.
Ya but if she has dreams of having children , with her health she doesn’t want to start late . She isn’t giving an ultimatum , she’s communicating that if he isn’t ready by that time then she will have to move on because she can’t wait or even worse have to start over and have to meet new people and get to know them . I think after dating 6 years , a 28 year old women can say hey if you don’t know yet I don’t want to waste anymore of my time . What do you guys expect her to do honestly ???Wait 10 years and then see if he’s ready ?? Since when is communicating what someone needs in a relationship an ultimatum?
Lol
Picture it like this. You're in the middle of a party. No actual plans to head home or go to bed, but you know that you and your partner are ending up in bed together later.
I would like to poke my husband and go “Sexy times later would be awesome” so he's aware that that's something I want. That means that we might adjust when we go home because we both wake up before 6am and have regular game nights during the workweek.
This isn't me going “Hello good sir, I would like to engage in coitus in exactly fifteen minutes. Do you consent to me touching your willy?”
We're also poly, in our 30s/40s, busy AF, and sometimes you DO have to schedule. I've looked at my calendar and gone, “If we want to have sex this week, it's going to HAVE to be on this day… otherwise we're both booked for the next X days.”
Her mental health is struggling.
OP, I agree with the other respondents that the abusive behaviors you describe (e.g., her lack of identity and emotional instability) cannot be explained by endo. Was she ever examined by a psychologist and given a diagnosis for a particular mental disorder? Did she exhibit such behavioral problems before her endo started acting up and before she started on the hormone injections?
You're crossing a line that was placed prior to all your hormones getting in the way.
He didn't attempt to have sex with her. He didn't mention a single expressed boundary that he crossed. It was perhaps new territory but she pressured him to continue.
That's my question too. Guess if you date someone bi and you're that insecure you just have to lock them up in the basement or accept people can be friends without fucking each other
Everyone's tolerance varies. LSD doesn't put me on the moon till I'm dosing over 10 hits other side of the coin is that I have friends who take one hit and are fucked. Granted I haven't dosed in over a decade but assuming it's actually LSD and not some other drug like the 2C family of designer drugs it can be dramatically different from person to person and batch to batch. Same can be said with booze. Just because some people can handle combining drugs and alcohol does not mean all people can handle combining drugs and alcohol. As I said if he was blacked out it's sexual assault plain and simple.
Even if your husband thought you sister was you, what’s your sister’s excuse?
And think about this. Your sex life spontaneously got better a year or so ago. But she only met this woman a few months ago? So if it wasn't just the excitement of her building this idea up in her head or maybe watching threesome/lesbian porn, what else are you missing that you may not know about from before Ashley?
Yep..totally agree.
No your partner has an addiction. This is not a you problem. Time for an ultimatum.
No, it wasn’t. Just like if someone were to remove their condom when using it is an explicit requirement while having sex with someone else.
Consent was contingent on that agreement, she violated, without his knowledge, and the consent was revoked the moment she did.
I think you're right, it seems like there's not really anything I can do to get my parents to be more accepting. It's not really that I care about their opinions so much as that I find their behavior very disrespectful and offensive, but I suppose it's their right to behave that way. I wish they weren't dragging my siblings into it, but oh well.
I got a question though, you said you asked to be exclusive before you want on the trip. But she slept with a dude while you went on a trip?
Can you explain that for me hermano?
A remorseful cheater would gladly forfeit their right to privacy.
OPs wife is not deserving of privacy in any case and OP is not snooping he’s gathering evidence. There’s a big difference
Keep us updated
Let her be and take your performative wokeness somewhere else. Rolling my eyes hard. Are you done trying to impress reddit ? Great.
Do people really go on dates 5 nights a week now?
There are people who've always dated like this, it's not “now” or a new thing. They have the drive and energy to do so, so they do.
Don't know what your background is, but this type of reasoning and logic is very common on r/AsianParentStories
It's basically why the sub exists.. haha. Over there, you're not going to find parents talking their children into being in open relationships, but you see a lot of parents manipulating their children with their words to do what they want. And their reasoning makes absolutely no sense.
Your mum is exaggerating things and making them sound like facts as a way to control you.
If you are not okay for an open marriage and your husband is on board, that's all that matters.
Looks like your husband has your back.. it's both your lives, what you both want and decide is all that matters. If you do something because your mum says so, you know who has to live with the consequences? You do. So might as well do what you want, and live with the consequences of your actions
Lol, so given the whole “husband is actually deployed” it's quite clear this is just a troll bait post. Have fun.
Think of it this way from now on. For her… it was a long time ago. For you, it’s brand new. So it’s valid for you to feel how you feel about it now, does that mean you’ll always feel that way?
As someone who recently lost their mom: you don’t. Not on your own anyway. No matter how much you try to prepare it’ll knock the wind out of you. Losing people we love is supposed to hurt.
Accepting their death also means accepting your own mortality and the finality of death. Both are difficult to do at all, let alone at such a young age. I would encourage you to see a therapist that uses existentialism as an approach. It’s all about accepting death as a reality but taking responsibility to lead a meaningful life in the face of death.
Huh, you might be right that the alcohol is way more of an influence than I thought.
If a person talks about another person a lot, such as finding “every” opportunity to mention them, it means they have strong feelings towards that person. Your fiancé is probably still in love with his ex.
With that being said, though, I can see why he got angry. You asked him a question you kind of already knew the answer to, got your answer and then told him you were hurt by it, which made him feel like an a-hole for being honest with you.
But bottom line is: he still loves his ex and you should break up (or at least not get married) because in his eyes you are not the prize, but the replacement.
Legit question. He can’t seem to say who is more important.
Do you know if your sister and her bf have an open relationship? If it was my sister I would tell her how disappointed I am and blah blah, but I wouldn’t say anything directly to him.
He can be a great guy and all that but my loyalty is with her, she is my sister and it’s her relationship, but I would definitely push her to tell him.
I know my girlfriend wouldn't intentionally cheat.
All cheating is intentional. It’s never an accident. It’s a series of choices.
The issue is that he may successfully seduce her.
Nobody can seduce someone unless they want to be seduced. They can say no and shut it down. Seduction can only succeed if the overtures are welcomed, encouraged and accepted.
Your girlfriend is gay.
If she was poly she would be able to share , if she was genuinly bi she would not need to date BOTH sexes at the same time. Being bi means you like EITHER sex.
This is why genuine Bi people end up getting a bad rap, because closeted gay people like your girlfriend to convince others that they 'need' both sexes. When in fact they are just hiding the fact they are ONLY same sex attracted.
You are a “merkin” sorry!
Are you sure his kink is showing you off as opposed to making you uncomfortable? Because it kind of comes across like he's getting off on the thought of forcing you into facing sec with another guy.
Good decision!
So does she want you to go down on her or not? She can’t show you a video she finds funny roasting men who like to give oral and then more or less demand oral. She made you feel insecure, maybe it wasn’t her intention, but once learning that she did her first response is to double down and punish you because you didn’t do exactly as she wanted. It makes sense your gf is less experienced in bed because this is not how you treat a sex partner with respect.
So OP could do that to possibly gather more concrete proof
Remember that the honeymoon stage usually lasts about two years. It's generally best to wait at least that long before marriage or kids, because it can be impossible to accurately evaluate your relationship in the middle of that stage.
Take this post seriously. Seriously
Well what exactly is your reason for asking? I think the likelihood that a question like that comes off controlling or insecure is kinda high because those are the typical reasons guys are asking.
You could ask her if she has an interest in pursuing being an influencer if she has a big following, IF that is your motivation.
But I think you might need to be honest with yourself and realize you’re maybe judging her to a level that makes it silly to even pursue her
I think you need to put some real effort into making friends. I know it’s hard, but I think it would help so much. I foresee one of two outcomes. On one hand, you become the kind of couple who spend a lot of time and energy on independent pursuits but that’s fine because it enriches your time together. On the other hand, you do your thing and he does his, and you drift apart and eventually break up. But if this happens, at least you’ll have your own friends and interests to keep you going.