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Date: October 17, 2022
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Is she able to support herself on her income and save for the future? If not, is she doing anything to change that? That is really all that I care about in a partner when it comes to what they do for a living.
Well, what are you saying exactly? How would you defend him? Would you call the accuser a liar?
My missus is really easy to buy for. I’m pretty picky. If I want a book for my hobby I’ll just buy it myself. I do like apple tech though. I think your trying too hard. Buying gifts is probably your main love language and gift’s definitely isn’t his main love language. Experiences are a worthy gift or intimate reward/gifts.
Possibly, but she's still married to the guy over 30 years later, so even if it was a white-picket-fence checkmark marriage it worked for both of them.
Info: why are you two meeting up at hotels in your home city so often?
Even if he stops “liking” the pics, he’s still going to look at them, so what’s the big difference? He’s just liking pics of girls who he will likely never interact with beyond looking at social media pics. Maybe he just scrolls through to kill time on his lunch break or in the restroom. Is he comparing you unfavorably to these women? It’s just the digital version of men looking at magazines. If this is the only issue, I’d say get over it.
I think I will get punched if I do this
She’s deflecting massively here and doesn’t see the hypocrisy in her statement. She also seems to refuse to acknowledge the hurt she has caused you. As far as she’s concerned, you’re only a decent guy if you do what she asks otherwise to her you’re abusive when you’re not. What she is doing is emotionally abusive and essentially holding your relationship hostage. She is the abuser in this situation. She doesn’t see or refuses to see that what she is doing is toxic and manipulative. She is, like you said in another comment, internalising her friend’s trauma and abusive relationship and applying it to her own rather than keeping a healthy focus on her own relationship whilst still supporting her friend. Your gf is in need of therapy. She needs to work out how to support her friends whilst not internalising or adopting their issues as her own.
Why then?
That makes sense I don’t care if I come out the bad guy but I don’t want to hurt her or anybody else Thanks for the advice
Indeed!
Block him and have no further comms with this guy! Tell everyone else about it, especially mutual friends, so that he doesn't control the narrative. He will probably try and get back to you or keep in touch to harass you and shit. Just block him and keep him blocked!
He is not right, though. Unless he is worried about her safety, then he has no reason to have a problem with it if he trusts her, which apparently he doesn't
So she wants you to completely compromise and cater to her needs, but won’t even slightly compromise or respect your needs…. So this is a completely unbalanced relationship. That is not okay in a relationship. If partners are on two separate ends of wants then there needs to be a compromise for both. She is delusional to think she can just have exactly what she wants no questions asked. That’s not how communication or a healthy relationship works. She wants you to be someone you are not. You need to have a conversation about compromise. If she can’t accept that then I would reconsider wanting to spend your life with someone that is selfish and doesn’t take your needs into consideration and isn’t willing to find a balance.
Generally if married only three months you can get it annulled. I’d try couples therapy first and if he won’t go or it doesn’t work out then leave.