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Larissa, 34 y.o.
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Date: November 6, 2022
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You have receipts
You tell your gf exactly what happened, before she finds out another way, and let her decide the future for you. And you should grovel and apologise as much as you possibly can.
Not what you are asking but:
Opinion: Your gf is a nutjob and VERY inmature.
Advice: either tell her to grow up, and send her to therapy ( shes projecting her insecurities and self steem issues over you ), and have a convo about what limits do you both have in your relationship. But TBH, after a 2 year relationship if my gf had a reaction like that, I'll straight dump her.
Well, you posted in the right place! Sounds like you’ve fallen for this kid. Your best bet is to just let them know about all of this; don’t say ALL of it immediately, of course, but ask the kid out! There’s no harm in it, you’re both adults and it sounds like you vibe very well anyway. You can go around and around with the “should I/shouldn’t I” stuff for days, but only action will get him out of your head (or into your bed, for that matter). Worst case, he doesn’t see you like that and you can handle that however you please; best case, you might get an excellent relationship from this; middle situation is he has feelings, but is boring on dates and sexually inept. Don’t hype him up to seem better than he his in your head, naturally, but don’t deny your feelings for him either. Good luck!
50B? What is this
Just take the ring, sell it and buy your own ring to propose from that money.
Also grow a pair. The world is not fair. Women get a lot fo stuff for “free” that men have to work hard for. Ever seen a yacht with people on it? Normally the man who owns it had to work very hard for it and the young women just had to look cute…
Sorry you go through this … his behavior showing that he’s about sex only not even wants to be friends with you .. you started to develop attachment to him but seems he’s not interested…. You’ll get your power back , try to meditate, hang with family … it’s hard at the beginning but you’ll get that power one day.
Thank you for the advice. I actually did talk to a therapist the second time it happened and I was feeling so much worse and felt like my heart was being crushed a lot. He told me to make a list of things I am and am not comfortable with them doing together. I did do that and we’ve talked about the list as well. This feeling kind of comes and goes I think. I’m ok one moment but the next moment I’m not.
Flipping the genders doesn't change anything. If OP was a woman and she was this invasive, she'd still be the problem.
All we know here is that the gf has visited some sites or made some searches that OP doesn't like. He isn't addressing it with her, nor is he self examining as to the issues present. Having read all his comments doesn't change my opinion, and the gf isn't the one who's here asking this bizarrely invasive question.
Have you talked with her about this yet?
My general rule is never to loan money to family. Either they are worth a gift or they are not. Give your husband the full story or accept that he's not willing to give money away for no good reason
Haha good point – she’s just caring and wouldn’t want her to worry about my driving etc or trying to get it fixed
please do not go near this woman ever again, you are asking for trouble
I don't understand how I'm “the red flag” after literally telling her that it's fine she stay with her parents until we get married/engaged? I would just prefer that we start building together sooner than later, and I feel like marriage after knowing someone for 1-2 years is very quick
We can't know–your partner isn't even sure himself.
Man I’d rather be cheated on then this, this takes the cake lol. Am sorry man
There’s nothing abnormal about what she’s doing and you’re being a dick by telling her that she’s not Albanian when she actually is. Albanian is not only a nationality it’s an ethnic group there are Albanians in Serbia, Bosnia, Kosovo in particular, and other countries.
It’s usually insensitive to comment on other people’s ethnicities especially in a critical manner. It’s usually especially touchy with groups that have recently experienced a genocide or attempted ethnic cleansing. That whole region is touchy when it comes to ethnicity, Kosovo in particular, add to that her mom recently passed and you’re a complete jackass for even commenting on this let alone not understanding why she’s upset.
This is the best comment imo
I’m so sorry for what you’re feeling and what you are going through. You are suffering two huge losses: your child and the man you thought your fiancé was. Any compassionate human being with the means would have flown to be at your side during the procedure. Not only has he not made any effort to be with you physically, he has been downright nasty to you on the phone. Your feelings are entirely valid and if it were me, I don’t think I could carry on in this kind of relationship.
Do you have any friends or family close by who can be with you in this time?
Yeeeeeeaaaaaaaah… That edit is gross. I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with this dude.
I'd ask her why she wanted to end it.
There's a line in the show Mad Men which might do a very good job of explaining her potential problems. The main character of the show cheats on his wife a lot, which is comparatively easy for him to get away with because he's like 10 years older than her and she's kind of spoiled and sheltered and also it's 1960 and their family is still in Fifties mode. But after the wife has figured it out, she's talking to a friend about it: “It's the way he makes love to me. Sometimes he does what I like… But sometimes he's pretty clearly doing what somebody else likes.” You just got out of a 7-year relationship, and frankly you basically got out of it yesterday. The formula I learned for breakups is that getting over a relationship takes half again the length of the relationship. In other words, you're still going to be grieving for another three and a half years. Now, I learned this formula around the turn of the century,
And this new girl might have realized that from your behaviors and decided to walk away.
I don't know about you but I accidentally shove people's heads into the wall and accidentally strike them in the face all the time. Doesn't everyone?
Having slept with a barely 18-year-old at 30 is a HUGE red flag.
Was it a dude or a girl?