Trauma bonds are hard to break. People can be in relationships where they are beaten, strangled, put in hospital and they will still walk back. That is the scary reality of being human, that manipulation can be so effective we ignore our own survival instincts.
And he exploits that. Anytime he wants you back he comes at you with a hit of pure 'what you wanna hear' and you can basically become addicted to seeking that affirmation.
So treat it like quitting drugs. Know that anything he says to you is a lie. That he has made clear he will hurt you. That all he ever did was hurt you. And that maybe the fact you are so hung up on a guy literally destroying your sense of who you are means you have some things in yourself you need to address.
He's using you. Stop fuckin blowing him. Why would he change when he's being pleasured without putting in any effort.
Trauma bonds are hard to break. People can be in relationships where they are beaten, strangled, put in hospital and they will still walk back. That is the scary reality of being human, that manipulation can be so effective we ignore our own survival instincts.
And he exploits that. Anytime he wants you back he comes at you with a hit of pure 'what you wanna hear' and you can basically become addicted to seeking that affirmation.
So treat it like quitting drugs. Know that anything he says to you is a lie. That he has made clear he will hurt you. That all he ever did was hurt you. And that maybe the fact you are so hung up on a guy literally destroying your sense of who you are means you have some things in yourself you need to address.