Whatever your fiancé's family are doing isn't helping his brother. They are enabling his behaviour, and your fiancé himself is stealing from you (giving him your prescription medicine? Is he for real?) and allowing him to disrupt your lives repeatedly when he is justifiably ignored to allow you to have your own space and live your lives (you should not live in the same apartment building).
If I were you, I would go on the vacation with my friends and probably postpone the wedding indefinetly until you see concrete improvement.
(Your fiancé not enabling his brother and keeping some sort of healthy boundary with him).
This man is gaslighting you. You were displeased and put your foot down and so he punished you and reversed the story so you won't do that anymore. He is trying to slowly break you down so he can take more advantage and more serious ways. He is not to be trusted
Sister lives in the middle of nowhere now but it sounds like OP doesn’t. There is public transport or she can learn how to drive, she’s 21 not 16. She can look for a job close to him and he can drive her while she’s learning. I understand OP wants to help his sister but she’s an adult, it’s time to act like one.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
On mobile.
I'm at a loss.
When we first started dating he told me he never wanted to get married, never wanted children, and that he didn't want pets.
I'm not too worried about marriage or kids.
I have always loved animals. I grew up having pets. Fish, dogs, cats, bunnies, birds, and hamsters.
I have a 16-year-old Chiweenie. I've had him since he was about 8 weeks old. At first, when I was moving in with my boyfriend, he said I couldn't have my dog. (He owns the house). I told him I wouldn't move in then. It was a tough conversation. I let him know I had my dog for 8 years and I was only dating him for like 6 months. There was no way I would give up my dog.
My dog has some health problems. He has seizures and high blood pressure that requires medication. It was a year ago that he began having the issues.
I've wanted another dog for a few years now. BF has kept saying no. It's gotten to the point where I want another dog. I think that having another dog will help me cope with the loss of my Chiweenie.
My BF is so set against it and says he is willing to compromise and I can volunteer at shelters.
I've always wanted an Australian shepherd and there are a few available now.
Is what I'm asking unfair? How can we both compromise?
At one point when I asked him what would I need to do to be able to get a dog, he said to move out. (It hurt my feelings). I asked him if we would still be together if I moved out and he said no.
I'm just lost. I know I still have my dog. I love him so much. But what happens when he is gone? I'll never have a dog again?
You probably gonna have to either deal with not having another dog or break up, plus the dog you want are working dogs so unless you live on a farm and got plenty of time to let him get enough exercise getting a working dog will be a bad idea
I took 9 months to myself after my abusive relationship came to an end. No dating apps, no male interaction except colleagues and family (not really one for male friends).
It gave me time to process the damage, heal a little, reduced the chances of trauma bonding with the next person and gather my thoughts about what I want next in life.
The very next man I met is now my husband. I really wouldn’t recommend just jumping straight in to a relationship.
If he was the first one to say ILY, I would kinda slow it down and stop sleeping with him/ at his house, see him once or twice a week and bond at a more reasonable pace. Currently you are in love bombing territory and that is the start of another dysfunctional relationship
You're somehow more supportive about being bi than she is to herself. Recognizing same sex act of sex and relationship as equal to opposite sex ones is the most grounded you can be in this scenario. What she's saying just is ???
I think it's a sign that she recognises that you care and that you love her. If it becomes a thing she does regularly perhaps have a conversation about how lucky she is to have a dad already but that you'd love and feel very lucky if she picked a special name for you that only she gets to you (papa, pops etc). This is mainly for the sake of her dad who clearly cares and is involved.
It is absolute nuts that you feel all this resentment over her disapproving of the type of music you listen to. This is the woman who bore your children and pays the majority of the bills? Yes, I think her view of heavy metal is a bit ridiculous, but damn would I like to hear her side of your marriage.
You aren't alone in this. Women see men as promiscuous at 15 partners and start to lose interest. Men see women as promiscuous at 14 partners and start to lose interest.
Low body count people prefer to date other low body count people. High body count people prefer dating high body count people.
He has had emotional affairs before. I'm not sure if any intimate affairs are in the past. Most recently, as of December of last year.
So not even 6 months and he is already acting as shady as possible. Hiding a dynamic, spending absurd amounts of time with a workmate, buying her gifts… that also happen to coincide with the last time you caught him out. So it seems he didn't even last a week before he was onto his next project, huh. And look, she is significantly younger and a workmate too, kind of ticks all the boxes.
Is this the life you want? Just this same tedious game of arguing semantics over boundaries that you both know shouldn't be tested this consistently. Nothing is changing, if anything it is getting worse, and the one actually hurt in all this is always you.
You're both playing the same game. You're not in a good place right now. It's time to make the decision. Do you want to be with him or not? Stop stringing each other along and clearly define your relationship with him, and stick to it. If you don't want to be in a relationship, then stop feeling each other up. If you want to be in a relationship, then stop making up excuses to not be in one.
Despite what movies and tv shows and books would have you believe—love is not supposed to be some hard, dramatic thing. I’ve been with my husband since I was 18. I’ll be 40 in a few months. Our love is still just as passionate as it always was, and we never had any of this sort of nonsense.
Healthy relationships start healthy. This is a minefield of bad choices and red flags.
Break up. Move on. Learn to be more assertive and demand respect for your boundaries. You deserve no less.
Still, itsu worth trying, you never know.
love your name my partner always snorts my pits I secretly love it haha!
Same. If I made plans and my boyfriend canceled last minute, my bestie is taking that slot.
And so does your gf. Instead of communicating how she felt she makes demands and storms off when you don’t “obey”. You both need to do some growing.
I think you already know the answer here.
They ain't just hoodie my man, they are trophies
You’re welcome. All the best to you!
This means that ditzy bitch knows all about the girlfriend and has Avery low moral compass
Whatever your fiancé's family are doing isn't helping his brother. They are enabling his behaviour, and your fiancé himself is stealing from you (giving him your prescription medicine? Is he for real?) and allowing him to disrupt your lives repeatedly when he is justifiably ignored to allow you to have your own space and live your lives (you should not live in the same apartment building).
If I were you, I would go on the vacation with my friends and probably postpone the wedding indefinetly until you see concrete improvement.
(Your fiancé not enabling his brother and keeping some sort of healthy boundary with him).
She has a boyfriend, so all this post is irrelevant.
You're suggesting that the ex had enough agency to properly navigate the circumstance.
If I'm wrong, do correct me with an explanation on your original comment's purpose.
She has to want you too for this to work, but she's clearly rejected you. Waiting on her will just make you resentful, I say move on.
There's nothing to wait for.
This man is gaslighting you. You were displeased and put your foot down and so he punished you and reversed the story so you won't do that anymore. He is trying to slowly break you down so he can take more advantage and more serious ways. He is not to be trusted
Life is short, take the chance! Just reach out and see how her new classes are going or something like that!
No no no dude. It’s people are trash all week today. Keep up.
Your body your choice but do be aware that she finds it a turnoff so sexy time may decrease.
Your mum liking it – do you always put the opinion of your mum above that of your GF?
Sister lives in the middle of nowhere now but it sounds like OP doesn’t. There is public transport or she can learn how to drive, she’s 21 not 16. She can look for a job close to him and he can drive her while she’s learning. I understand OP wants to help his sister but she’s an adult, it’s time to act like one.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
On mobile.
I'm at a loss.
When we first started dating he told me he never wanted to get married, never wanted children, and that he didn't want pets.
I'm not too worried about marriage or kids.
I have always loved animals. I grew up having pets. Fish, dogs, cats, bunnies, birds, and hamsters.
I have a 16-year-old Chiweenie. I've had him since he was about 8 weeks old. At first, when I was moving in with my boyfriend, he said I couldn't have my dog. (He owns the house). I told him I wouldn't move in then. It was a tough conversation. I let him know I had my dog for 8 years and I was only dating him for like 6 months. There was no way I would give up my dog.
My dog has some health problems. He has seizures and high blood pressure that requires medication. It was a year ago that he began having the issues.
I've wanted another dog for a few years now. BF has kept saying no. It's gotten to the point where I want another dog. I think that having another dog will help me cope with the loss of my Chiweenie.
My BF is so set against it and says he is willing to compromise and I can volunteer at shelters.
I've always wanted an Australian shepherd and there are a few available now.
Is what I'm asking unfair? How can we both compromise?
At one point when I asked him what would I need to do to be able to get a dog, he said to move out. (It hurt my feelings). I asked him if we would still be together if I moved out and he said no.
I'm just lost. I know I still have my dog. I love him so much. But what happens when he is gone? I'll never have a dog again?
You probably gonna have to either deal with not having another dog or break up, plus the dog you want are working dogs so unless you live on a farm and got plenty of time to let him get enough exercise getting a working dog will be a bad idea
I took 9 months to myself after my abusive relationship came to an end. No dating apps, no male interaction except colleagues and family (not really one for male friends).
It gave me time to process the damage, heal a little, reduced the chances of trauma bonding with the next person and gather my thoughts about what I want next in life.
The very next man I met is now my husband. I really wouldn’t recommend just jumping straight in to a relationship.
If he was the first one to say ILY, I would kinda slow it down and stop sleeping with him/ at his house, see him once or twice a week and bond at a more reasonable pace. Currently you are in love bombing territory and that is the start of another dysfunctional relationship
Welcome to Gilead
He's just fishing for a response. Don't engage. Don't play his games.
You're somehow more supportive about being bi than she is to herself. Recognizing same sex act of sex and relationship as equal to opposite sex ones is the most grounded you can be in this scenario. What she's saying just is ???
She definitely needs to protect the financials. He could wipe out what little they have left with another episode. I hope she takes this advice
I think it's a sign that she recognises that you care and that you love her. If it becomes a thing she does regularly perhaps have a conversation about how lucky she is to have a dad already but that you'd love and feel very lucky if she picked a special name for you that only she gets to you (papa, pops etc). This is mainly for the sake of her dad who clearly cares and is involved.
Certainly not just entertain, but a spark should be part of it right?
Depends on how you feel about explaining what happened to the sister. If you care to, go for it. If not, just ignore her.
You have done nothing wrong
Didn’t like the answers you got yesterday? Just no. Accept him or break up.
It is absolute nuts that you feel all this resentment over her disapproving of the type of music you listen to. This is the woman who bore your children and pays the majority of the bills? Yes, I think her view of heavy metal is a bit ridiculous, but damn would I like to hear her side of your marriage.
You aren't alone in this. Women see men as promiscuous at 15 partners and start to lose interest. Men see women as promiscuous at 14 partners and start to lose interest.
Low body count people prefer to date other low body count people. High body count people prefer dating high body count people.
I certainly hope you were responsible enough to have Badger microchipped at some point.
If not, you can bring him to your vet for a wellness check.
So question, cause you said she’s a lesbian… did she tell you or did you assume she is?
Cause she could be pan or bisexual for all you know.
He has had emotional affairs before. I'm not sure if any intimate affairs are in the past. Most recently, as of December of last year.
So not even 6 months and he is already acting as shady as possible. Hiding a dynamic, spending absurd amounts of time with a workmate, buying her gifts… that also happen to coincide with the last time you caught him out. So it seems he didn't even last a week before he was onto his next project, huh. And look, she is significantly younger and a workmate too, kind of ticks all the boxes.
Is this the life you want? Just this same tedious game of arguing semantics over boundaries that you both know shouldn't be tested this consistently. Nothing is changing, if anything it is getting worse, and the one actually hurt in all this is always you.
You're both playing the same game. You're not in a good place right now. It's time to make the decision. Do you want to be with him or not? Stop stringing each other along and clearly define your relationship with him, and stick to it. If you don't want to be in a relationship, then stop feeling each other up. If you want to be in a relationship, then stop making up excuses to not be in one.
You’re 20. Quit wasting your time on this bozo!
Despite what movies and tv shows and books would have you believe—love is not supposed to be some hard, dramatic thing. I’ve been with my husband since I was 18. I’ll be 40 in a few months. Our love is still just as passionate as it always was, and we never had any of this sort of nonsense.
Healthy relationships start healthy. This is a minefield of bad choices and red flags.
Break up. Move on. Learn to be more assertive and demand respect for your boundaries. You deserve no less.