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kamilakin Public Chat Channel
Date: October 30, 2022
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kamilakin Public Chat Channel
If you truly want this to be over then block him on everything ! Because he will text you and trying to come back a few months down the road . You’ll be tempted to get back with him and fill the void in your heart and you know it will be back to the way it was before , the ignore the not treating you right .
So I was just looking for some advice on this topic. Sorry for being a little suspicious about a specific date for a specific person she matched her sign with, specifically for love, sex and marriage. And I'm 99.9% sure it's not a celebrity.
We've known each other for a very long time. We've been together for over 2 years and we have a baby girl together. This made me a bit concerned. It's not that I don't trust her. It's just that we spend most of our time at work with Co workers. And infidelity runs extremely high at the place she works. It's worse than a Grey's Anatomy episode. I was just concerned that it might be something that's blooming between her and a coworker. Again, not saying I don't trust her, but she might be comfort and attention from someone at work wich in turn makes her feel that there could possibly be something. I don't know.
I haven't had many serious relationships. The only big one I had was very broken. I was young and the person I dated was alot older. She was also very abusive, physically and verbally. She also cheated. Again, this isn't my fiance's fault. But she knows my history. And she is very understanding and caring.
Hence why I don't really want to make this a discussion. I don't want her to have to reassure me every time that I don't need to be insecure. She does this more than she already needs to. I don't want to start pushing her away with the second guessing.
Thanks for the few with unbiased advice. But there also seems to be alot of assholes here too. Obviously it's the internet and dicks are abundant. I know I need therapy. I was forced into it since I was 13 years old with the death of my dad. I am on medication for anxiety and depression. I know I have flaws and am somewhat of a broken person.
I just wanted some advice. But I guess I'll figure it out.
I know it's not. I don't mean to. It's literally always an accident because I'm very clumsy and reactive when he touches me unexpectedly. That's not an excuse, I know. I never want to hurt him.
Sex Panther® is a cologne which is illegal in 9 countries.
It is also made from bits of real panthers.
60% of the time, it works every time.
I would dump him
He will keep going to strippers and cheat. He had a history plus how do you have a future with him?? Is he paying child support? Did you want kids of your own? Vacations? Or now are you responsible for his kids . College ect.
If you want the life of other woman in and out of your bed and who knows how many more kids he has out there ..stay…other wise cut your lose while you can.
I totally resonate with this. Try having a conversation and don't go on assumptions. Maybe he has in mind to have a conversation about you when he visits India and his feelings about having a future with you.
If he is even a bit worth your while, take a chance. You might be pleasantly surprised. In case the conversation didn't go as planned, you will know that you ducked from getting a raw deal.
Utilities are shockingly low. I’m literally never home when hes not here. It’s a house rental so no like luxuries so to speak in terms of extras.
Don't never let a man have to tell you twice that he don't want you.. you're not overreacting he meant that s***
I understand your frustration with his addiction but if you expose him to his employer that will be the end of your relationship and probably won’t help his recovery either. For me just the fact that you’ve seriously threatened to do so would be a dealbreaker. I would be asking him to go to therapy to work on it and if he doesn’t want to then have a serious think about whether you can continue this relationship. It’s not a healthy dynamic that he’s lying to you about what he’s doing or that you’re checking his computer.
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What makes him feel loved? Physical touch? Words of affirmation?
Stop giving it to him.
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youre very out of line and i find it concerning you say you wouldnt go beyond friends bc you dont think you “would even be compatible romantically” and not bc you love and are committed to your partner
the only other date i’ve ever been on was with my (now) ex when i was like 15. so when we were children? i don’t even know how to act right lol but i’ll try! but i think i should take it slow too but wow i’m nervous!
I do not feel like my ex is my backup, but I understand the sentiment.
The question you posed is a good one, I feel. If the relationship wasn't abusive and toxic, I think I'd still be with the guy. However, if the guy wasn't abusive or toxic in the first place, then I probably never would have left!
Okay, thank you. It helps having outside perspectives, since I'm way too close to the situation and my own emotions. But would you consider this just passive aggressive or PA manipulation?
Is he medicated for it? I take a proton pump inhibitor daily and it’s made my whole system a lot happier.
I think its time you make new friends. If you want to try and reconcile you can, but its easier to start over again and again until you find the person who won't turn their back on you, even if you go MIA (friends like that do exist). Your other group saying they'd rather do the project with someone else is the same as saying they don't really care to do it with you. Whichever group you join, try your best to forget the broken promises and enjoy it as much as you can. You might even be able to make new friends from your group, that's what I did when I was put in a similar situation. There's always a chance that there's just a misunderstanding, if so you can always pull them aside one at a time and ask for them to be honest to you about this. I wouldn't ask them in a group, people are more likely to express their true feelings when not influenced by others opinions. Good luck op
First of all, who pays the mortgage? If it's you, you need to insist on being added to the deed or it's a straight up D-I-V-O-R-C-E. She is controlling as hell and you're getting next to no benefits from this marriage.
I asked to see his phone and he handed it to me. I would never snoop through a partners phone secretly.
If she, for some weird reason, thought you were a loser for not getting your first kiss as a teenager, then why would you want to be with her?
Your partner should like you for you and not care about stupid shit like that. Be with someone who makes you happy and doesn't make you hide apart of yourself.
OP you are making reckless decisions and I can understand why your girlfriend (not wife) wouldn't want to sign for you. It could seriously impact her credit if you were to default. You had a car, but wanted to upgrade and now you've lost it. I recommend buying a reliable, older Civic or Corolla with cash. If you need financing then you are going above your means so no more financing, work on raising your income and saving first.
Hey, I don't think you deserve to feel like a weirdo! Everyone has their preferences and kinks, and on the great spectrum of things, yours is pretty tame.
Thank you for clarifying and satisfying my nosiness!
He's making it about her weight LMAO. There is no amount of weight loss that will make her a man.
Our state is no fault. Infidelity won’t mean anything.
Well I proved how you were wrong. How am I wrong?
I don't manage his team. I am just in a management position now, while he's still in design. I don't have authority over him at our workplace but I am technically in a superior position to him and I do make more than he does.
It amazes me how many people think if they wear you down enough you'll give in and change all your values. I am 95% certain I will never marry and 100% certain I don't want to change my last name. Maybe I would agree to a double barrel if they did the same. I'll lay this out clearly early on and would be mega pissed off if they ignored me thinking they're the magical person to change my mind.
What are premium shifts? In Canada you show up, you tip the dj, you work.
This man is dirt. Thank your sister
I have been in therapy myself for around half a year and when we spoke about this she acknowleged she “probably” needs therapy too, but has never seeked it out. I feel like this would be something that I can propose, but she would need decide to do it, even though I do agree it could help.
If you were actually friends then you'd have known her well enough to anticipate this response. That it blindsided you tells me you don't know her well at all.
So yes, you asked your lab partner for sex.
What have you done besides “sacrifice” your hobbies, money, etc for the kids? Did you talk to them about their interests?
When they needed help at an inconvenient time, did you make it obvious or hide the fact that it was putting you out?
I had a stepdad who acted like meeting my basic human needs (house, food) was something I should be grateful for, when in reality, children do not get to choose to be born nor have needs. They cannot provide for themselves, and when you take on parenting, that’s what is expected at MINIMUM.
However, it’s not enough to form a bond with your child. And if your kid feels like a financial or time burden, they might close off from you in their immature attempt to help minimize their existence. After living that way for years and reaching the end of adolescence, you understand the difference between someone who values your presence and someone who affords your existence.
U/ebbie45 is amazing
Yes.
While I can understand wanting to keep personal information like this close to your chest, your relationship is going well. You can tell her now, and used the newness of the relationship as the reason for only mentioning it now, as you wanted to get to know her better, and see where the relationship was headed before telling her.
The longer you wait to tell her, the more chance you have of her leaving over the deceit. Especially if things start to go bad health wise for you – you don’t want to have this conversation on the way to the hospital.
You can't even bribe her with gifts, just expect her to accept an empty apology so that you can keep wronging her?
Lying, talking, working out with, texting and on Social Media with another woman. Acting like you didn't exist when he was talking to her. Gaslighting you…
Yeah, it's at least an emotional affair. Time to cut your losses and move on. He's trash.
Yeah I used to feel guilty about invading his privacy but Idc anymore if I’m being honest and idk how I feel about him right now but I don’t want to be quick in naming him a “bad guy”
I do not know why, but reddit does not show me the ten comments it says there are. I can only see one which i've responded to. But I still want to thank everyone who took the time to answer me, I wish I could answer you back too.
one year
Your anger is valid, but that doesn’t really change your situation.
what do I do?
It sounds like you’ve already done what you can do, which is tell him how his actions make you feel and ask if he’s willing to change. His actions communicate that his answer is basically no, he’s not willing to change.
It’s really up to you to decide if you want to be in a relationship where you are basically the side piece and video games are his true priority.
Regardless if someone was over. It doesn't cost anything to just say a quick “Hi” while making eye contact, and just say, “I had a bad day, be down later, maybe we can catch up if your still here”
It 100% sounds like she is telling you she wants to stay w/ you and divorce you legally so she can bail after the fact and leave you high and dry.
If she wants to divorce you legally then get a lawyer to protect yourself because you’ll be entitled to alimony because she has been supporting you. Also, even if the house is in her name, if it was purchased after you were married then half the house is yours. And if she bought it before you were married, any equity built after marriage is half yours.
GET A LAWYER. SHE IS TRYING TO SHEILD ASSETS FROM YOU AND IS GOING TO FUCK YOU OVER. EVERYTHING ACQUIRED POST MARRIAGE IS COMMUNITY PROPERTY. YOUR CONTRIBUTION TO THE HOUSEHOLD IS VALUABLE!
Thank you for your positive and productive response. You really should give people advice for a living.
What? I didn’t even do anything
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I am a stay-at-home working mom. What does that mean? I have two children, aged 4&2. I am home alone with them from 8:30am until when my husband gets home from work at 6:30/7 every weekday.
What makes me a working SAH mom? Well, I have the pleasure of clocking into work 4pm-1am three nights a week and I work all day Sunday.
I go to bed at 2/2:30 am after work and I wake up at 8:30am to take my oldest to his preschool 9-11am (he has ASD). I am constantly EXHAUSTED and trying to stay on top of everything in our home, appointments for 2 special needs kids (speech delay and ASD).
Suffice to say, it has been challenging. I gave up my 9-5 because my salary was being eaten up by daycare. I am also the lower earner in our marriage. My husband does well, so his job always takes priority and I was having to take the sick days when the kids were getting sick from daycare.
There are 3 nights that we have together as a family – Monday, Wednesday and Saturday. Working opposite schedules is exhausting. Neither of us really take much time for ourselves, but we both understand that is just the nature of the season of life we’re in right now.
I literally never take time for myself. I spend every waking moment during the day caring for my kids. Then I go clock 40 hours in for my paying job. Last August I decided to take golfing lessons, the first thing I had done for myself in a long time.
It was only a 7 week program. Drop the kids off to my husband at work, one hour lesson, socialize for an hour and be home by 7:30 to help put the kids to bed. Four weeks into the lessons, my husband decided he was going to join a bowling team in Wednesdays from 7-10:30pm.
This meant I could not stay to socialize after my lesson, I would have to drive an extra 30min to and from his parent’s house to pick the kids up, then go home and get them ready for bed alone.
I told him that was exhausting and I’d rather just not finish my lessons. He said “okay” and that was that, he went on to play his THIRTY WEEKS of bowling, never missing a single one, no matter how much he was needed at home on a given week.
They won their “championship” last night. A couple hundred dollars each (It costs them $25/wk to play – so do the math on if they actually “won” anything lol).
I said “Congratulations. If you decide to sign up for this again, you will be responsible for finding childcare until 10:30 pm on Wednesdays.” He just looked at me so blankly, like no idea why I was saying this.
I feel anger and resentment toward him, not because of his hobby, but for how he ruined mine and how he put his bowling league above the needs of the household. I’m upset by how disruptive his hobby is to our lives, being sandwiched right between my two busiest days (T & TH), how he REFUSES to skip a week here or there when the kids or I am sick, when we could just use some extra help OR god forbid if it’s just a really nice day and I’d like to take the kids somewhere as a family.
I told him that he will need to find and pay for a sitter for the time and duration of his hobby. As I will not be available for solo childcare for 14 hours a day every single Wednesday, for 30 weeks out of the year. If he decides to sign up for bowling again, it will not be to MY detriment.
Her escalation of this after getting promoted is weird. I understand not wanting to get her in trouble. Unfortunately, there is not really a good solution that doesn't involve that. If you tell her she's making you uncomfortable, which you should, then you definitely need to also go to HR so they have your side of the story first. She knows not to flirt with a subordinate. Further, it's possible other people already notice that you are getting easier assignments, and if she is continuously assigning you to work with her, then they likely have assumed something mutual is going on already. It's not your fault that she's doing this, and you need to protect yourself and your job.