Here’s some numbers for you. Write out the hours of free time you each have every week. Not time working, not time taking care of someone else; time you could sit there staring at the wall and no one would miss you.
Balance between a couple where one person works a classic corporate job and the other works at home taking care of a household and family cannot be compared one to one. Instead, compare the part of your lives that are comparable: time off. When there is a large difference between the two, that’s when tensions run high.
There is no “earned time off,” no “well I need more because my job is harder.” It is binary: are you on or are you off?
That is how you can approach someone who may not be able to empathize as much with a daily life that they do not have. If it is hard to understand, then he needs to have the patience to find units and terminology he can understand. You can tell him, “i have my feelings and emotions. You need to put in the same amount of energy into figuring out how to relate to those.”
You are a team. A team needs to be balanced. If you cannot balance his apples and your oranges, then balance the pears you both have.
Maybe tell him to get railed himself by his buddy.
Here’s some numbers for you. Write out the hours of free time you each have every week. Not time working, not time taking care of someone else; time you could sit there staring at the wall and no one would miss you.
Balance between a couple where one person works a classic corporate job and the other works at home taking care of a household and family cannot be compared one to one. Instead, compare the part of your lives that are comparable: time off. When there is a large difference between the two, that’s when tensions run high.
There is no “earned time off,” no “well I need more because my job is harder.” It is binary: are you on or are you off?
That is how you can approach someone who may not be able to empathize as much with a daily life that they do not have. If it is hard to understand, then he needs to have the patience to find units and terminology he can understand. You can tell him, “i have my feelings and emotions. You need to put in the same amount of energy into figuring out how to relate to those.”
You are a team. A team needs to be balanced. If you cannot balance his apples and your oranges, then balance the pears you both have.