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^^ Lets drop this top [Multi Goal]
Date: November 6, 2022
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Wow, I’m SO sorry this has happened to you. You did have the relationship talk and we’re in a committed exclusive relationship right? It sounds like he really enjoyed building a connection (maybe some love Bombing), but if he knew that he would be relocating he should have told you sooner. It might have been something he hide to himself. Also, if he really wanted it to work he would have tried harder. To randomly ask you to relocate after dating for 7 months is a bit much, he didn’t even offer to try long distance with you. He could have talked and tried to make it work LDR. But instead he just up and left… and blocking you is absolutely cruel, you didn’t deserve that. I wouldn’t think highly of this man as he sounds underlying immature and cannot communicate. It seems you may have dodged a bullet here. I’m really sorry he wasted your time and broke your heart. It’s so hard to trust people these days. This is why it’s best not to give your whole heart and trust to someone until at least a year in. I know that’s hard to do but never been 100% in until more time has gone by, past the honeymoon stage. It takes usually several months for people to let down their walls and show their true self.
Sometimes when i get asked out, i also hold off the reply for a little time. Even when i'm excited to go. I do reply within a couple days however. If you can live with the agony of waiting, then you should wait a bit
So what relationship advice are you in need of?
So basically nun
Your public image can 100% have an effect on organizations you are apart of. Just because it’s no longer taboo for women to be sexy that doesn’t mean an organization can have standards for professionalism.
Wow. This is going to be a hard one to come back from.
What do you want to do about it?
I know you invested so much time and emotion into this relationship, and your family is important to you- so I understand if you want to stay and make it work. I also understand how absurd this entire ordeal is and if it makes you rethink everything.
You’re probably still a little drunk/hungover. Go sleep, eat, and give yourself some time to think. Making decisions in this state is rarely a great idea.
You're single now, that ” family ” mindset. The mindset of ” 3 of you ” is dead. Make a plan, work towards a better life for you and the baby. It's over for you, YOU & YOUR BABY is what matters now.
I think you’ve got it twisted dude. I made a simple statement, you went off the rails like someone who’s been off their meds for a while. Good luck with that!
This was my first thought too. They're trying to control and manage a situation and introduce you to the idea of not carrying to term. For the safety and well-being of yourself and your baby, talk to your Mum and stay with her for a bit. These people don't have you or your baby's best interests at heart. And see medical professionals for advice on what your baby needs. That way you have additional people looking out for you and your baby. Hopefully everything goes smoothly and your baby stays healthy. Congratulations on your pregnancy, and good luck!
I just wanted to clarify that it’s not. It’s her and her friends, but SIL and my bf are very close as they used to live together, so he is invited. No other family members are invited. Mom and Dad certainly are not. There is binge drinking and shots involved which is the source of my hesitation.
Ah yes, everyone's dream: to find a partner who thinks their personality is one point above average.
Thanks for reminding us yet again why dating a co-worker is probably not the best idea.
Win or lose, it's in your face every day.
This exactly. I skipped my high-school and college graduation ceremonies. But if my SO was graduating and wanted me to attend, I'd move mountains to be there
First of all, you are approaching this issue by asking how you can control someone else’s behavior. Take a step back and think that one through….
It’s not your job to change him into the person you wish he was. It’s your job to tell him how his behavior makes you feel. Just don’t approach it from a “right versus wrong” perspective. You want him to understand your feelings, but you were in a partnership so his feelings are equally as important. Talk to him in detail. Find out why he does what he does, and learn more about it.
Don’t be afraid of reality or the truth. What do I mean by that? Be respectful, but ask direct and honest questions. Don’t embarrass him, but if he’s not willing to open up and talk, then your problem isn’t jacking off, it’s communication.
We have and she said she'll do her part. And yet when work gets in between she says she's too tired to do it, even when she's stuck on social media for hours everyday. I just don't know if I could be an example for her to get it too much longer, it's pretty bad.
Honestly, not sure why you are getting downvoted for that. My husband does not wear his ring at work because he does a ton of typing and it’s very uncomfortable for him. I only wear my ring on special occasions because I’m not really a jewelry person and my ring is an antique. A ring does not make or break someone’s marital status.
But all the other advice people are giving stands- her behavior is not good for a married person and now that you know, you should set boundaries and make your relationship more professional.
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You can’t expect someone who cheated on their partner with you, to become committed to you afterwards. I’m sorry. Find someone who is honest.
*facepalm*
You don't, the heartbreak is unavoidable and necessary
Bruh because that’s essentially what you said, she was fired and he threw her to the streets.
She’s not asking that her partner be her therapist but a partner, who is there to support you when you need it because that’s what a relationship is. Supporting each other, and when wanting to be in a deeper committed relationship, you need to be sure that in case of a job loss or medical issue that the other one will be willing to be there for you in any way.
The cheater got cheated on. Serves you right. Thats Karma for you.
Did she seem to be flirting back? Or did she really not know that it was someone else holding her?
If I was in her position and someone is holding me by the waist and I assumed it was you. Then I see you arrive, I'd be surprised you weren't beside me and look for the guy who had the audacity to hold me like that. (And make a mental note not to be too close with him)
Hot damn! A neuroscientist? OP, I wanna be friends with your wife!!!!
What can I do to help you gain that last but if extra courage?
Also been asked things that wouldve correlated to times of the previous relationship that I've answered to, unknowingly adding to what gets thought and pictured by.
You can't force her to have basic decency. You can, however dump her and that's what you should do.
Your “husband” has helped create the space between you and his friends. After eight years, a real husband would have made sure you were as close to them as he is and/or you guys would have your own set of friends as a couple. Neither happened. Without knowing the other issues that lead to the last straw, but understanding as a man that your husband has created this situation… you need to leave. Imagine being 63 and this was your life for the last 3 decades.
This is the type of advice I came for, thank you!
Order takeout sometimes or cook less elaborate meals, then?
I was wondering if this was the plan. It’s hard to know but even the thought of this being true probably bothers me enough to justify breaking it off
If I came up pregnant tomorrow at 36, AINT NO ONE TELLIN ME SHIT!
I don’t and YOU DONT need anyone’s bad attitude. You do you Mama. I hope you have a glorious and healthy pregnancy.
Fuck this chick. It's over, mate. Rip the band-aid off.
There was another story on Reddit like this. It’s in the best of Redditor‘s updates. It’s about a young woman. She was pregnant really pregnant like eight months and her boyfriend I guess start to get scared and listen to some podcast. He asked asked her to do a paternity test.
She was destroyed emotionally. She said he really believed that I could love him get pregnant blame it on him, have the baby and then have him raise it under his name that I could do all of these things to him. So she told him she would take the test but if it came back positive what she was certain it would that she would leave him. He was shocked, but ask her if she would do it and she said yes.
So, of course, the test came back positive he was the father. It was complicated for a moment she tried to do it, but ultimately within the first two weeks they disintegrated, and she left. It destroyed their relationship. But now you know why.
It assumes that the person you’re in love with has gotten pregnant by somebody else and has been hiding it having an affair. That she is going to stick you with the child. Have you raise it as your own both financially and emotionally. There are people that do this which is why people get scared, but I’ve always said, unless there’s proof Nobody should be doing this because it could very well end the relationship. By the way, that guy she left hardly sees the son at all.
After she took the test, he thought it made them closer. Completely ignoring what she said, and the fact she was devastated. He wanted to get married and have more children. Like I said, within two weeks, the relationship had disintegrated and was over.
Why on earth are you mad at your sister when your husband literally text book r-worded her??? Tf?
No seriously I just did a deep dive and ????????
“Blood oath” “obsessed with comparing me to deities” “threatened to kill me if I ever left her” “desperately wants to start making babies”
This is either a very committed troll, or this guys going to end up dismembered in pieces on an altar or something
I'm a hardcore atheist and I think your boyfriend is a dick.
Yeah, I've decided to not bring it up, you're clearly right, it would be plain weird.
I’m not sure why this makes you so mad that you want to leave. Surely he’s always done this kind of thing? If you’re bothered, ask him in the morning why he shut down so abruptly. I bet he won’t really know what you’re talking about. He’ll be “It was late. I was done. What are you upset about?”
“Weak character will neutralize all of the other possible good qualities a person might possess.” -Robert Greene
Your friend has weak character. She’s not a fundamentally kind person, and I can guarantee that any kindness that she shows is highly contingent on how much attention she’s gotten that day.
Look after yourself fella, will just take time to get over but you will eventually and you will meet someone more deserving that respects you.
Block And move on .
On and off relationship for YEARS?
Nah. Leave it. Stop seeing him entirely. Make your life nice for yourself. Be open to meeting other people.
You need to break off all in person contact.
You need to go through the courts and set up a proper visitation/co parenting schedule and you need to only contact him by text for drop off and pick-up times.
He needs to collect the kids and see them away from your home.
He does not come into your home.
This is what you should have done in the beginning so that by now you would be purged of his using you.
This is the only way you can move on from him. Go cold turkey. Treat him as an addiction you need to get rid of.
Bruh what??? Run
Do you really need to know why? Okay she is blatantly wiling to lie and disrespectful towards you, when you try to have a conversation her first response was to lie then when you didn’t buy her lie instantly blames you for causing issues. Do you really want that as a life partner a women who will blatantly in front of you disrespect you, lie to, then try to gaslight you into thinking this is your problem, do I need to keep going? Look don’t be one of those doormats who is scared to be alone have some self respect their are plenty of women in this world who won’t do that shit and won’t try to gaslight after doing it in your face, but hey it’s up to you to decide the type of person you want to give your heart to, she was willing to break it do you really think you can trust her with it
Tell him he won’t receive oral anymore. Tell him you’re not enjoying putting in the effort to get no pleasure in return. Your pleasure matters. He’s incredibly selfish even thinking this would be okay.
Theres domestic violence hotlines that are used to deal precisely with men like him. Theres nothing he can say they havent heard before. He knows hes scared you and is confident you wont report, but he'll turn into a scared little baby the moment consequences become a thing. Dont let him get away with ruining your life.
Cheating, sexual abuse, etc. No, I never go out. I have a full time job on weekends so I have no time for nonsense. I was single for a while and was following some accounts with similar hobbies, and they were just females.. and she attacked me for it down the line. Mostly accounts with women riding motorcycles or hobbies like guitarists, and they would “sexualize themselves” or just be sort of out there with their looks, and I guess that makes her uncomfortable. We positives to this relationship, she is trustworthy but I feel like she's a feminist a bit. It's upsetting because I'm getting older and my previously relationship was 5 years prior, and I'd like to settle down and have a family. But all these red flags I keep encountering in my life makes me feel like not bothering anymore.
Not all “happily married men” are actually happy. People are quick to judge cheaters, especially on reddit as so little information is provided of OP. It could take you as little as 5 minutes of browsing /r/deadbedrooms for you to understand why people in sexless marriages have the urge to cheat.
Yep very inappropriate . I think he is giving her the correct impression that he is very interested in her. i would be nipping that in the bud.
I get you will probably disregard everyone on here because you & your boyfriend are in love & everyone is “being mean to him.” But, I imagine right now your boyfriend is your number one priority & you treat him as such. What happens when your priorities change? because when you have that baby they will. Who is he going to take it out on? You or the baby? If you love your baby, please consider them in your decision making right now.
Not only are your responses healthy and a sign of someone well adjusted, his tactics are toxic as hell and dangerously bordering on abusive. I wouldn’t stay in this situation much longer if I was you.
You're not a couple. And you were both drunk.
I'd say you need to decide if this is actually worth it to continue to pursue.
Me, I'd say she's a free spirit and you're competing with other guys.
Oy.
Well on one hand liking things on ig is not exactly the worst case scenario but also: yikes.
This is tough especially if you love the man. It does appear that he is able to control himself to a degree. Or maybe IG doesn't have as good a handle on CSAM as I think? If you saw content that is definitely illegal then you should turn him in. If it's gross/creepy but legal, we're in more of a grey area.
It's hard to know how far he's willing to take this impulse. If you weren't married I'd say nope out of there. I wonder if you can get him to go to therapy, and if you can push him to try to put this out of his mind. If he's not at least trying get better, then you may need to think about whether or not you want to be around if this goes to a darker place.
I'm sorry you have to deal with this.
Why are you incapable of doing more chores?
Is your wife, single?
That’s a little weird, my ex would get “mad” if I called her by her actual name instead of babe or baby but I thought it was funny she would say “what’s my name?!?”
I get it, you’re the better person.
Throw the whole relationship out anf start over OP. Your ex was with that man for 4 years, more than likeky has deep emotional and sexual history with him. Do you seriously think she has ZERO attraction to him?
I am willing to guess that if they haven't been sexually active now it's going to happen eventually. Even if it doesn't happen, do you seriously want to spend the rest of your relationship with her ex in the picture…?
Eh. You’re safely at a level of attractiveness that whatever imperfections you see when you look in a full length mirror are invisible to an outside observer. Envy is a waste of time and energy that could be better used in finding a guy that doesn’t make you feel like his inadequacies are yours.
Any advice on how I can get him to understand that im not mad or anything I just don’t wanna be squeezed like that?
You get him to understand by breaking up with him swiftly and never looking back.
As soon as you get the moon boot off, RUN !!