Honestly, age is so important because look at you.. with a mindset and unsaid expectations ready for multiple break ups throughout your life until you learn what you want for yourself. The boy is 27 and is really a grown adult now who doesn’t see the issue. I am also 27 and I don’t see the issue neither if it wasn’t stated to me.
OP, here’s something you’re going to have to figure out: is it a dealbreaker that your wife’s physical attraction to you is conditional? She could have been more tactful about things, but she wasn’t, and this is clearly weighing on you. Personally, I think some couple’s counseling (and possibly some therapy) needs to happen.
First happy anniversary to the two of you. Second, I've been in your boyfriend's position to an extent. I also deal with severe depression and there was a gap of time between when I quit my job to focus on my health to get pregnant, and when I actually got pregnant. I don't even mind cleaning, but I was more depressed than ever, so it was a daily mental struggle even though I genuinely wanted to take care of our apartment and cook.
I'm not saying your boyfriend does or doesn't truly want to, but it was so much harder than I would've thought. I fully agree with making a chart. It's probably because I do not have ADHD, I could make lists on my phone of things I wanted to do in the day and check it and cross them off when I did it. Having a visual would probably be very helpful for him.
Additionally, it is incredibly cliche, but spending time outside also helped me immensely. I'm not one of those people who say if you're depressed, go outside and you're cured (I also take Zoloft), but I found moving my body and getting my circulation going did a lot to help me be more active while in the apartment. You sound like a busy guy, but maybe you could make time for some afternoon walks if you both felt up to it? And in general encouraging more physical activity if he is able.
If all else fails, you could always sit down and tell him you love him, but things aren't feeling great for you and just be honest. At what point will you feel taken advantage of in the situation? Maybe he is going through a rough mental health patch, but if it gets to a point where it's pulling you into one too, I hope you love yourself enough to be honest with him and see if he acknowledges your feelings and what he does or doesn't do about it after you've done your part.
I managed to work, get my education, raise a young child, and deal with brain surgery all at the same time. If their is a will their is a way. Not going to argue about it with you.
Your wife is more turned on by vagina… she doesn’t like penis… let that sink in…
Just stop man. Just stop. Only proceed if you hate yourself.
Honestly, age is so important because look at you.. with a mindset and unsaid expectations ready for multiple break ups throughout your life until you learn what you want for yourself. The boy is 27 and is really a grown adult now who doesn’t see the issue. I am also 27 and I don’t see the issue neither if it wasn’t stated to me.
Please go back home. Leave him and seek therapy.
This is not how people who love you treat you.
OP, here’s something you’re going to have to figure out: is it a dealbreaker that your wife’s physical attraction to you is conditional? She could have been more tactful about things, but she wasn’t, and this is clearly weighing on you. Personally, I think some couple’s counseling (and possibly some therapy) needs to happen.
First happy anniversary to the two of you. Second, I've been in your boyfriend's position to an extent. I also deal with severe depression and there was a gap of time between when I quit my job to focus on my health to get pregnant, and when I actually got pregnant. I don't even mind cleaning, but I was more depressed than ever, so it was a daily mental struggle even though I genuinely wanted to take care of our apartment and cook.
I'm not saying your boyfriend does or doesn't truly want to, but it was so much harder than I would've thought. I fully agree with making a chart. It's probably because I do not have ADHD, I could make lists on my phone of things I wanted to do in the day and check it and cross them off when I did it. Having a visual would probably be very helpful for him.
Additionally, it is incredibly cliche, but spending time outside also helped me immensely. I'm not one of those people who say if you're depressed, go outside and you're cured (I also take Zoloft), but I found moving my body and getting my circulation going did a lot to help me be more active while in the apartment. You sound like a busy guy, but maybe you could make time for some afternoon walks if you both felt up to it? And in general encouraging more physical activity if he is able.
If all else fails, you could always sit down and tell him you love him, but things aren't feeling great for you and just be honest. At what point will you feel taken advantage of in the situation? Maybe he is going through a rough mental health patch, but if it gets to a point where it's pulling you into one too, I hope you love yourself enough to be honest with him and see if he acknowledges your feelings and what he does or doesn't do about it after you've done your part.
I managed to work, get my education, raise a young child, and deal with brain surgery all at the same time. If their is a will their is a way. Not going to argue about it with you.