I (44M) spent four hours deep cleaning three rooms of house and wife (41F) only had to say “You missed a spot”. Married 17 years. I am hoping for some outside perspective.

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I (44M) spent four hours deep cleaning parts of our home last week. My wife was at work and I was off, so I decided to clean around the house.

After sweeping, I mopped our tile floor. I had a visitor, so I had left the items moved out of the area to another room. While we were in my basement talking, my wife (41F) had come home from work. After I saw my visitor out, she asked me why were all the items moved off the tile. I replied that I had mopped.

Now, we have been going to counseling- and I was already preparing for the worst (our counselor uses Gottman methods and I knew I was starting to have negative sentiment override) so I took a breath and just heard her out.

She replied that she thought I was mopping. Then she said “You missed a spot.” I didn’t know what to say. I just put the stuff back up, I didn’t know how to take it.

Later that evening, I told her how what she said made me feel totally feel like crap. Her reply was along the lines of “I’m sorry- but when you do that stuff it makes me feel bad”. She decided to sleep in another room that night.

To be honest, our marriage has been rocky for a while, and we have been seeing a counselor for nearly a year. I am hoping that maybe some outside perspective can help me evaluate the entire situation.

submitted by /u/ThrowRAforMeThisTime
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Date: April 3, 2023

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