Men are not machines and a penis isn't an automation. On top of this you're allowed to touch your own body. If your girlfriend is so irrationally insecure that you fluffing yourself sends her over the edge she needs to go talk to a therapist.
Your focusing on the wrong issue. The work is only a microscopic issue. You should've focusing on the fact your husband yells and gaslight you and moves people into the house who freeload. Your husband is a n*rcissistic gaslgihting AH. Of course there's good times, just enough to keep you around. Leave him because things will only get worse
I don’t know how to help you. I have a secure attachment style. I know and accept that people cheat and there’s nothing I can do about that but deal with it if it happens. I don’t spend any energy worrying about it.
I am still friends with exes I dated 20+ years ago. I don’t “delete” people from my life for no good reason. I don’t burn photos, delete them, delete contacts, block, whatever—I just don’t. It doesn’t mean that I’m interested in any of my exes though. Same with my partner. Hell, we have to be around his ex wife a lot due to his kiddo.
I dunno. I saw you mention in another comment that you two want to try poly and I just don’t think you’re wired for that. You’re way too insecure and jealous and in your head making up worst case scenarios.
Doing open or poly takes varsity level trust and communication and you have neither going for you at this time in this relationship. You’re setting up tests and hand wringing.
Run don’t walk from this relationship
Men are not machines and a penis isn't an automation. On top of this you're allowed to touch your own body. If your girlfriend is so irrationally insecure that you fluffing yourself sends her over the edge she needs to go talk to a therapist.
Your focusing on the wrong issue. The work is only a microscopic issue. You should've focusing on the fact your husband yells and gaslight you and moves people into the house who freeload. Your husband is a n*rcissistic gaslgihting AH. Of course there's good times, just enough to keep you around. Leave him because things will only get worse
Red flag, this is way too soon.
I don’t know how to help you. I have a secure attachment style. I know and accept that people cheat and there’s nothing I can do about that but deal with it if it happens. I don’t spend any energy worrying about it.
I am still friends with exes I dated 20+ years ago. I don’t “delete” people from my life for no good reason. I don’t burn photos, delete them, delete contacts, block, whatever—I just don’t. It doesn’t mean that I’m interested in any of my exes though. Same with my partner. Hell, we have to be around his ex wife a lot due to his kiddo.
I dunno. I saw you mention in another comment that you two want to try poly and I just don’t think you’re wired for that. You’re way too insecure and jealous and in your head making up worst case scenarios.
Doing open or poly takes varsity level trust and communication and you have neither going for you at this time in this relationship. You’re setting up tests and hand wringing.