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Date: October 9, 2022
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If you get serious with him she will likely end up feeling like she is your kid, especially at 4 with a mostly absent mother. If you are okay with that then I say see how things go, just be sure if things keep going you are sure about how you feel before you start being around her and she has time to get attached.
. I didnβt want to deactivate it as thatβs how I contacted a lot of my friends, but after a few days of arguing I gave in and deleted it.
The fact you guys argued over this is telling.
it made the relationship feel more secure as neither of us was worried about what the other person was doing on social media.
You should be able to trust your spouse with what they do on social media. If you can't, then neither person should be in a relationship. Relationships are built on trust.
To me thatβs the most hypocritical thing Iβve ever heard
It is hypocritical. So you're dating someone who has shown you to be both a hypocrite and controlling if she doesn't get her way.
She used to respect me a lot but over the past few months it feels like sheβs been walking over me more and more.
Then, something in the relationship changed at some point, or she's finally showing you who she truly is. You need to grow a back bone, and stop letting her treat you like a doormat. When people show you who they truly are, believe them.
30 minutes after the argument I really donβt want her to come anymore after what I feel like is a lot of disrespect, but Iβm scared if I actually break up with her and fly home Iβll regret it.
Then don't. Break up because frankly, this doesn't seem like a healthy relationship. She's being a hypocrite and controlling while disrespecting you for months. Maybe the only thing you'll regret is not breaking up sooner.
Your boyfriend might need some professional help if he's stuck like this. Being introverted is one thing, but constanly needing me-time doesn't sound good
This exactly. You stuck him in your hoarder mom's house, u have a temper. You expect him to want to clean ur moms nasty ass house and deal with your mouth as well. Woman to woman… u bugging mama. Most men don't wanna clean their own mess why would they care about ur moms house??? He's running for his life
It won't be. Your attitude is wrong. She will never completely trust you again. SHe will trust you more than she does now, if you earn it, but it doesn't sound like you are genuinely sorry, just sorry you got caught. Do some introspection and either focus on earning her back or move on.
I'm autistic too and this would be a deeply upsetting proposal for me to receive, so I feel you entirely. To me, the proposal being everything you didn't want, that was uncomfortable for you, means your partner either didn't think about your limits or care enough about them to keep them in mind. And that is a real issue, one you have a right to feel hurt about, because it is so hard to find someone who really gets it and you can be comfortable with, so this must really hurt your trust in their ability to do that for you.
I'm so curious to think what the general consensus on this is.
It depends on who's in the house when he's not closing th3 door. Just you and him?
I don't think it's weird if he's only not closing it for peeing and/or bathing/showering. Pooping is another matter, because I feel like the door contains the smell, then.
Dude. My life is fabulous. I'm on vacation in Europe, paid for with my own money, because I'm not bankrolling any freeloaders. If you don't want advice, why did you ask?
Whyβd you have to do it on a work day? I think you thought that doing this on a work day would somehow be less stressful cause youβre getting her out of it, but tbh itβs just probably causing her more when she gets back and maybe she wasnβt comfortable with you asking her manager. Also, maybe her manager wasnβt truly ok w it as well as you donβt know their dynamic.
Anyway, I think doing this on a work day and calling her out of work wasnβt the best idea. This would stress me out
I heavily empathize with this and I know better now to avoid those types of questions lol it will absolutely fuck you up. Idk if itβll help you but for me keeping an honest dialogue helps. To know that my partner is always honest with me helps me trust them and I donβt get those intrusive thoughts as much.
You either talk with him or dump in. It sounds as if you are in two different places in this relationship. It would drive me nuts but Iβm not you.
Is t that the point? Theyβre not having it.
Your 30M and you think about this alot? What do you have going right now? You have a career? I mean I ask because these thoughts kind of plagued me as a late teen but eventually I realized that your not going to be the best at everything. Some guys will be better lovers but bad partners in other areas. This happens you have to look at it from an “All things considered”. This is a you problem. You need to get some help or get going in life. At 30M I was knee deep in a career and couldn't care less about my girls exes. Whatever you do don't keep badgering her about details etc that won't end well. Don't try to “beat” them etc just be a good boyfriend.
Are you both sharing how you feel about certain situation that involves the two of you – something you did/ something you said/ disagreement on a subject that effects the two of you? Or were you discussing something that happened to her?
I agree that you shouldnβt ask trap questions, but I donβt agree that we need to respond with only hard truths to try to correct the behavior of people who do. The reality is people get insecure sometimes, weβre all human. We all have weak moments. Sometimes you look to someone for a little reassurance and you donβt phrase it in the best way. The kind thing to do is to offer the reassurance.
I (a woman) work with all men and I tell my boyfriend stories about the office happenings all the time, naming my male coworkers. I am not into any of them, I just see them as colleagues. You spend a LOT of time with your coworkers especially if he works in a 9-5 office setting. Itβs normal for them to be on your mind even after work.
“Kate wasn't the classic beauty”. Sounds like she wasn't your first choice either. Sounds like she's extremely honest. That can have downsides
Laugh about it if you can. Wish her good luck. And always retain some love for yourself.
βA drunk manβs words are a sober manβs thoughts!β
Because op was doing it up until recently, I do agree it should be disclosed. But 3rd date? I dont know. Id probably wait till 6 month mark. Not too serious but enough time to get to know them as a person.
If it was something she did in her 20s and she's now mkd 30s? I don't know. I think it's the equivalent of a dude dealing drugs in his 20s, cleaned his life up and he's not into his 30s. Does that need to be disclosed?
Tricky situation.
Be for real. Youβre doing it on purpose. Hope you and your friend have a great wedding day π you literally called her a friend again 3 minutes ago in another comment. Homophobe.
Stop it. You are making me wet.