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Do you want to help me wet my chair? so hot for you
Date: October 23, 2022
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To me it just sounds like your boyfriend is not a good dog owner, and an especially horrendous owner for a pitbull mix.
I understand why you are scared of the dog attacking your cats and/or future child or even the eventual visitors. The aggression can be trained out of them but it seems like your boyfriend is either unwilling or incapable.
I think the best option (if you want to stay together that is), is to search for a reputable professional dog trainer who can help you train her.
>> I also think that reassurance wont even help me much
Do you have access to treatment for your anxiety? Because if evidence before you shows you one thing, but your brain is teling you another, that's time for therapy.
“If you've forgiven me, why do you keep bringing it up when we're talking about unrelated matters”
Bro deleted all his responses ???
Thats not alpha , thats adult immaturity , gtfo away from him
Makes sense, I’m really thankful and know what a privilege this is. I had mentioned to her that I wanted to buy a car but she said to just use all my money to pay my debt off since she’s getting the house covered. I’m not sure, maybe it was the tone that got me but I could just be making waves. If just came off in a different tone. I’ll be more introspective and see if it’s just me. Thanks
Separate your finances immediately. Give her a card that you transfer money to, sort of an allowance. Once she spends what you give her, she will be out of luck until the next allowance. This will teach her to be frugal and have some fianancial responsibilty. She sounds young and her parents either never taught her financial resposibility, or this is the first time she has had access to cash.
Make sure you explain why you are doing this as you cannot have a future if she spends this way. If she throws a fit about this or fights it too much, then you might go ahead and consider divorce.
What’s dumb is being used by some promiscuous fuck girl and crying about it on Reddit, harsh truth is there is tons of people out there like this and you have to learn to weed them out, otherwise you’re the clown
I would say “oh, didn't realize you had a vagina! You must know better than me then ?”
Injury, illness, death. Not even the health insurance but all the other really important benefits if shit hits the fan and preserving what you've built together.
regardless of how delusional he is for being upset at that, if it were me, i wouldn’t be okay with my partner giving me the silent treatment. it’s manipulative and fucked up to just ice someone out until you’re finally willing to just speak. like you can’t hold the whole concept of communication over your partner’s head just cause you’re mad.
It's called the death grip. Your partner seems to have caught that. More common than you think and it can ruin sex and relationships. The only way to fix it is by rebooting the system. Read up about it. Good luck!
Sooo….
You're you want the benefits of being married while acting like you're single…
Mkay.
Divorce and find a FWB.
There's no way your wife's not gonna feel unwanted and unwelcome.
If you're happy in this marriage while having this mindset, are you really sure your wife is just as happy? Maybe, it's a happy marriage for you only.
Oh my gawwwwd. I can't. Your so frickin fluffy I'm puking rainbows.
Yes, it could be considered that, if he's clueless your fine though. Most of us men are clueless till 30
I’m sure calling her a hooker doesn’t make you feel better about it, does it?
How did the convo go when you talked to him about it? What did he say?
She told me that she didn’t focus during the lecture, I’m thinking of sending her my notes after a while, does this make me cringe?
Yes
Yeah I should have been able to take this seriously, it's also because of my background I'm Asian and we're not really taught this and that we can inform police about this. Not sure if the police here will do anything about it to be honest. We had really good dynamic except for that.
I definitely need to work on my boundaries.
Here's the issue, he asked you, and you said no. Regardless of the reason, you don't get to be upset about who DID help him. He asked you first, because you were his person.
I dont see the problem, it was before you got together so why does it matter? I dont think you should care as long as she is a good person and not seem like she would cheat. I never say no to free hoodies, but ofc its different when its from someone I like
This only came from many failures and much much learning. I had good parents and she had a terrible upbringing. Sad to say my Dad is more of a Dad to her than hers is.
I am not perfect and nor have I been but I do think that my wife and marriage is one of the best things to ever happen for me.
True but he didn’t mention finding a dildo in a sock too lol
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Stop with the heart bullshit. Your wife is a serial cheater. Get divorced and start a new better life without a lying cheating woman.
he told me he didn't see things going anywhere.
Yup, you would look stupid if you contacted him. He said he's not interested. It would look Uber desperate if you contacted him after he dumped you. You would also be wasting your time and confusing yourself. Move on.
Burn everything, shave your head, and run? /s
Seriously, this is one of those values differences that should be a relationship ender. There are options for your GF to get the lice professionally treated, or she could cut her hair, but she would rather keep spreading them around to avoid the inconvenience.
Hard to say if the frustration is warranted at current levels, but from your description it does sound like he's got the bigger load of the household duties for sure.
I'm a homeowner, pay all the bills, and it really doesn't take that much time. Like maybe an hour a month most times, other than getting ready for Christmas and birthdays. House chores probably take that daily, depending on how clean you keep your home. It sounds like you work a similar amount, just on different schedules, do if he's doing most of the cleaning most days, it does sound like he does more. I'm not saying this makes your lazy, but it is uneven. Maybe you can sit down and come up with some sort of chore chart together, and include the stuff you do as part of it?
But that’s what you have to do. You don’t have control here.
Do you believe in equality in the workplace? Do you want men and women to be treated the same by upper management?
Dump him.
Is she still currently seeing one?
I would put an ultimatum on her. I would tell her that how the relationship is going right now it isn't working for you, and that you need her to stop with all the selfmedication, that she needs to tell her doctor that she had been selfmedicating, and for her to tell the doctor how bad it has been lately in case they need to up whatever they prescribed to her.
If she doesn't want to do that, she is choosing the drugs over you and you have given her a fair choice to try to get it to work.
Thanks soo soo much for your reply I took a screenshot of this as I value some questions you have asked and I might need to ask them to him 🙂
Might help So thank you
It's fine if you don't like him, but crying is normal and healthy, it's a way for your body to process emotions. It's fine if you don't cry a lot but others do. It's okay to cry for no reason. It's literally just your body flushing out emotions.
I had a friend come over to watch our daughter because he was talking about doing something, but I ended up hanging out with the friend instead. Idk, he enjoys that kind of stuff more than me anymore and catching up with my friend over baking and crafts with my daughter seemed better that day. At a certain point, I feel like we should both grow up and realize life isn't just an endless party and there are more meaningful things to be doing…
“Stay the fuck out of my room and what I wear to sleep won't concern you.”
Yes. He is just using you for gratification. Get out and cut all ties immediately.
I'd normally say to stay broken up. In this case I will give different advice though.
If I were you I'd give it some time. Think carefully about whether getting back together would be good for you. You don't need to jump into it straight away.
Get a lawyer. Sue for damages. File a police report.
OK first off she hurt you. And maybe you said things you didn’t want to or that were bad but it was an extreme situation. She needs to make up with you not the other way around her. She would walk all over you like a rug. Remember she injured you so she brings up what you said so you’re right I apologize I should’ve said that but we’re not gonna be together because you cheated on me. Do you see the point I’m making
Wow. This is the answer.
I've explored this thought but internally landed on me having the space I need, and I do prefer having a partner
Her body. Sounds like you two are at the end of your relationship
Why is she delaying talking about paying rent?
Just out of curiosity, have you tried communicating with him about how you feel?
I mean personally I feel like this has loads of red flags but I had to ask first.
Her wanting to be open doesn't mean she doesn't appreciate him.
No, but her laughing in his face does. He’s just telling her he wants the same boundaries they’ve had all along, but apparently that’s both funny and oppressive.
Walk away. First. You absolute threatened her. Second. You use the word hate about each other’s children? Third. She spit on you. This is toxic and you’re children don’t need to be exposed to this.
How drunk was your husband?
Walk away. First. You absolute threatened her. Second. You use the word hate about each other’s children? Third. She spit on you. This is toxic and you’re children don’t need to be exposed to this.
She’s commented on a few other things that she does not like
and those would be?
When I have issues with my boyfriend, I bring them up.
What are those issues?
Yea. Hopefully you figure out what you need. It just doesn’t really sound like he’s that into you.
Thanks, the bottle of vodka nxt to me is taking god care of me
“Your husband was unfaithful, time to kill the baby”
wow. . .
I guess? I mean last night he had headphones on and I asked him to move over on the couch and he got mad at me, so it seems more like I do nothing and he just freaks at me anyway. He has schizophrenia if that helps at all, he tends to think I’m attacking him when I’m not…
You still chose to have multiple children with him. This behaviour isn’t sudden, only this decision. Is it worth throwing a marriage away over golf?
Having it take longer will just prove it to them
Yeah this happens sometimes, just be glad he didn't stick around and try to sabatoge the relationship.
Additionally to what others have suggested I want to add: maybe he just doesn’t have much of a presence as a person? I am like this, people tend to forget about my existence when I’m not around. They don’t mean it in a bad way usually it’s just that I don’t leave much of an impression with a lot of people. This could lead to this repeated phenomenon of him being “excluded” when in reality just no one really thought of him for whatever reason. Don’t get me wrong, this sucks, but it’s most of the time not a direct attack or conscious thing…
Although, if people really are actively hiding things and activities from him that he would probably like participating in, then that seems more unlikely.
So I started experiencing some weird brain issues involving my appearance around covid. I got so body neutral I lost the ability to properly perceive myself. I’ve mitigated it a lot by dressing exactly how I wanted to, which is oddly, but I unbelievably fun. My friends, partners, family, and even strangers have been so unbelievably supportive. I would not choose to be around people who thought so lowly of something that made me feel safe and happy. It can be so freeing to be yourself, don’t let some lame dude stop you from pursing what makes you happy
Find a new bf
FOUR MONTHS?
Girl. RUN!
If OP is the primary person looking after it, and the kids don't even want to take it for walks, it might be better for the poor dog Tonge rehomed.
Look I want to be upfront and honest and tell you that this guy is playing you. Unfortunately I don't think you will listen to any reason because you are so infatuated with him. And I'm sure the love bombing has also been very effective. Can I suggest that you take your time with this guy and don't sign off on anything that can affect your credit rating or career or health
Sounds legit.. broken home growing up
There are different types of alcoholism. Often we think about needing to drink every day, hiding booze around the house. But binge drinking and not being able to stop are a problem too.
My partner quit drinking a few years ago and she was never the type to need a drink every day. But when she would drink, she’d go overboard nearly every time. She described it as “my favorite drink is the next one.”
And use spermicides
I have some parental trauma with relationships, but even then I didn't keep my partner a secret to my friends… I told them how awesome of a person they were (back then…)
Well I've never been on vacation with a girl before so lol
Why more understanding about mental health vs physical health? And she's adjusting and coping with her reality, that is hard on your mental health even if you're not depressed.
I think most likely she feels really overwhelmed in a lot of ways right now and was upset when she said that stuff.
I wouldn't expect things to change. After 6 months you already know where he stands on long distance relationships, and its impossible to make that type of arrangment work without mutual commitment and powerful trust. At some point someone has to risk uprooting themselves for the sake of being together, and there cant be any reservations on either side when that time comes.
Not responding for weeks? Focusing too much on sex? Being super hot/cold? Yeah, probably not the one.
They have every right to ignore you. They aren’t your friend and have made it very clear that they don’t like you. I’m not sure why you are trying to make jokes with them, when that is clear. They don’t want to forgive you and have no interest in a friendship with you.
What you actually have is a friend problem, not an ex roommate problem, as your friends keep flaking on you. The reason is pretty irrelevant, the fact is you had plans and now they keep cancelling on you. You will need to sort that out with them or find friends who are more reliable. I’m sure the players could get the coach to either announce training sessions earlier or not take part in sessions if they have pre-existing plans. If they aren’t doing that, then they clearly don’t feel very strongly on the point.
Have you told them how it makes you feel, when they keep flaking?
As hard as this is, divorce. Some things can be worked out but this man has no respect for you and never will. Get out. It’s going to be the hardest thing you EVER do because he’s all you know. But you have to get out. The sooner you do it, the sooner you can start picking pieces of yourself up and finding your own self. Don’t waste another 12 years. You’ve got one chance to live this entire, crazy, unexplainably fucked up, unimaginable, vastly magical, beautiful and surreal experience. Don’t let some fucking asshole take that from you by watering yourself down and staying with him. You are still VERY YOUNG. Get out there and focus on yourself, completely and wholly. Life is too precious to settle. You will feel so free when you’ve healed. Get your legalities figured out first and foremost. Don’t even discuss anything with him. You need to be getting prepared if you can get a lawyer. You don’t need to stay just because you’re married.
Yes, this is definitely abuse. My ex husband started off with yelling, then shoving, then name-calling, then slapping. I could go on but ultimately he broke my leg. Get out now. Find a way with some help. He’s just getting started. Was he always sorry? Yes. He would be sweet and attentive until next time. You know he tried to piss on me with a broken leg? I couldn’t move out of the way very fast but it was close. If you’re wondering if you can work it out – you can’t. It’s a slow burn. It escalates until something really bad happens. Please get some help breaking up with him. He is volatile and unpredictable.
Bullshit. Give him alllllll the space. Far away from you. Boy, BYE!
Dude, after trying for 5 years…no, it's not going to work.
If she doesn't like your young daughter now it's only going to get worse as she gets older, becoming what will most likely be a bratty teen and that teen (or younger) realising your Gf hates her.
He needs to allow her to deal with this situation. It's a small, intimate wedding. He also mentioned she likes to keep her privacy
I agree with what you said but lying to him isn't exactly dealing with the situation in her way. She can keep their relationship private by taking him in confidence about her plans and not lying to him that he didn't get an invite. She can tell him he was invited and she doesn't want him to go.
This isn't about the DVD. A movie is just a movie and unless the copy you had was some kind of ultra rare limited edition or gifted to you by a dead relative, it can be replaced. You could have purchased yourself a new copy or let him know earlier than one year later that he still had it but again, I don't think this is really about the DVD.
This sounds like it's about how you carried around latent feelings for this guy for a dozen years and after a good fucking to get it out of his system, he dropped you for his ex. You keep saying he threw the DVD away but you don't actually know that he did; he could have just as easily misplaced it by accident or otherwise lost track of it. He might not have even realized he still had it until you said something to him if he was busy enough with other things in his life to not notice a random movie lying around. You feel like he threw you away and all that resentment is being transferred to the DVD. You thought he would have seen it and contacted you about it but instead he did nothing, showing you that his level of commitment to you is not the same as your level of commitment to him. The movie is just what you're latching on to as something tangible to be mad about.
The fact is that for many people, sex changes friendships. Some folks can fuck and act like it never happened but for others, the friendship is essentially dead the moment sex happens. The two of you fucked and now the friendship is gone because he chose not to pursue a romantic relationship with you in favor of reattaching himself to his ex. And if he and his ex are back together then of course he's not keep his old female friend that he stuck his dick in hanging around, not unless he wants to invite trouble with his ex…who probably isn't his ex anymore.
You're allowed to feel bitter and gross about this. Your friend showed you his priorities and they aren't you, not after he got what he wanted. So mourn the loss of the friendship and move on with your life. If he comes crawling back after he and her split again, I'd suggest not letting him back in – or keep him very much at arm's length. It sucks but you deserve someone who will treat you like a first choice, not a consolation prize or rebound or anything else along those lines. Learn from this and live your best life.
You started it. You pretended to feel something you didn’t. That’s on you. Getting even? That can’t be how you could best live your life. Honestly it would just show him how big of an impact he’s made. The best revenge really is living well and not giving him another thought.
How many cops do you know? I had 18 college professors who were cops or were cops at one time. We heard many stories about things like this. The cops will investigate this report. And they'll likely easily get the cat back if they show up at his house. I had a professor who told us he had to go retrieve a stolen hamster once… they'll do something.
What man doesnt at least grill meat?
You can't