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Date: October 8, 2022
There's no way in hell that he's a great friend… that's awful, I'm sorry he's guiltily you jver his lapse in judgement.
Wish it was that easy, but fr I should leave him first before he keeps playing me like a dumb btch fr
But it’s double standards (in my opinion). Guys get high fives for sleeping around and women get judged. Not saying you’re doing the judging by the way, just making a point on how society is.
Yes, you’re an idiot for considering this.
Just be straightforward with him.
(Bf's name), I can not afford it. I don't want to work extra shifts to pay you back as well. I have debt and I don't need to accumulate it. I will not be attending the family gathering this Christmas.
But if you've already gotten the host or his parents some gifts, go ahead and wrap 'em and let him take it with him to his family.
We've talked about it after they've had it a few times, They realise and we both agreed that they are going to get therapy starting January next year (they can't currently since they are moving to a different state entirely).
They have only lashed out 3 times, because previous times they have these bad episodes they remove themselves, stop talking and wind up hurting themselves in bad ways. the 2nd time it happened I did come back and prove that the shit they said was false and often they would just sit there and say whatever, or leave the call (then going back to my concern of self harm). (Same outcome if I end the discussion when they start it)
Because even outside these instances they are a wonderful partner, it's just these few times it hits hard and given they want to get therapy and do a lot to make up for them lashing out is why I choose to stay with them, I make changes and make up for my fuck ups and they have done the same and held up on it.
In the moment kind of situation I don't fully know if it is better to have me there in a call with them or let them be alone while like that.
I kind of don't think that person was looking for that correction or that information
There’s no way she’s getting other tickets. This concert didn’t even go up for general sale because everything was nabbed immediately.
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Right. Yeah totally a fair point ☹️? I want to rationalize it but I do definitely get that it’s weird
You’re naturally anxious to know that he’ll miss you as much as you miss him. If he doesn’t, you can feel like it invalidates your feelings.
But nobody can promise he’ll miss you. People’s feelings are ultimately private. They may choose to share those feelings with us or to withhold them, but we have no rights over them.
If he doesn’t miss you, though, perhaps it doesn’t invalidate what you feel. Rather, it lets you know that someone you care for has other needs right now than to be in a relationship. Many people do better alone, sometimes for a season or sometimes for a lifetime, because they thrive on concentrating on the things that give them joy and develop them as people.
In any case, your job is to attend to your life, now, not his.
I couldn’t phantom how she could say such a thing to me after everything we’ve been through so I broke off the friendship. Going back to my shit childhood, I kind of made it a habit to dissociate from people quickly to avoid feeling unwanted and hurt and that’s why I left without working it out. But then I thought about it and through maybe it was worth at least talking things out for the sake of how long we’ve been friends, but it didn’t really go well. She didn’t want to call or meet up which I understood and gave her space for. But then she started holding calling over my head. The last day we talked, we got into a bit of an argument and I was out with my mother spending time with her. Jen said things such as; “I don’t recognize you anymore OP you used to be so sweet”, “I was going to call you tonight or Monday but you always hang up on people” (I don’t. I only ever have before in front of her when I was getting verbally abused by my mother and she brought that up to hurt me. I’ve never done it to her or anyone else), etc. We talked and calmed down and she slavered to call me so I rushed home with my mom and sat all night waiting. I started spam calling her after she started ignoring me and she didn’t pick up a single call. Then at 3 am, she texted me saying she was going to bed. She was going to bed while I was hyperventilating literally unable to to breathe and crying over her after being pulled away from a nice day with my mom. That day broke me and I decided to block her. That was in October and I had thought of her every damn day. I would cry constantly about her to my poor partner on the phone and started having nightmares about her. I went to a psychiatrist recently and got rediagnosed from bipolar to having BPD, CPTSD, ADHD, OCD, an eating disorder, and an anxiety disorder. I didn’t mention this earlier but me and her had both struggled a lot mentally and pushed each other to get better and seek help. So after getting this diagnosis, I felt a mix of very hard emotions. I felt so elated to finally know wtf has been so wrong with me for years but also a deep sorrow that I have so much to now go in to deal with. I decided that day to contant Jen to get some closure. I had written many long letters to cope previously but just sent a brief text asking for a call. We did just that and talked a lot out and I was very emotional and vulnerable, which she didn’t really reciprocate. But she did apologize for what she had done which she previously hadn’t, and agreed to work things out slowly. It’s been two or three weeks and she hasn’t tried to call or offer to meet up yet. We’ve been texting everyday but she’s gotten progressively more dry and now she hasn’t responded to me since the morning of the 4th. I’ve been going through the same panic attacks I had when we first stopped talking. I feel so gutted. It feels like sometimes I’m over her and moving in but then suddenly I feel like my world is falling apart. I’m in so much pain constantly and I just try to sleep all day and take sleeping pills at night so I don’t have to be conscious to think about what’s happening. I know I should leave her behind but it just hurts so much you know? The worst part is that she knows exactly what I’m feelings because she’s had men out her through shit like this EXACTLY and she would have seizures from stress. Please someone tell me, what do I do? How do I stop hurting? How do I forget?
I tried that approach. My husband escalated from porn to hookers. I would not advise this course of action.
I'll try and do that yes…
Well, him being raised by children certainly explains a lot.
I know, thank you guys you are opening my mind! He also has two kids whom he never sees at all! he doesnt care about his responsibilities i think
Sometimes you find someone who is walking blindfolded into a minefield that they are not aware even exists.
It is the right thing to steer them away from that path even if it means that it is going to hurt them in the process.
Because their current path will lead them inevitably to a much greater harm.
Girl run and don't look back.
I mean she was probably that drunk herself or close to it.
I've been in my relationship for 3 years and none of my friends have my bfs number, and we don't use social media anymore… or add people just because.
So none of them could even contact my bf.
You assume an uber is safe. Tbh it probably was but she was drunk so got paranoid.
Girls just drunk. As a bf I'd be annoyed I couldn't trust her not to get that drunk. Not start being para she was at a guys place.
I also wouldn't call my bf or expect him to be my taxi at the end of a night out. Like that's his time to chill. Not to pick up drunk me and spend 1.5 hours driving. He's my partner, not my dad when I was a teenager.
Your daughter probably thinks he was a better parent than you because he was, you know, a better parent than you. It’s obvious that you are full of it because you keep harping on the weed ad nauseum. Sing a different one, this one is getting old. He’s dead and you are still resentful and bitter.
On the one hand, it's very possible that he didn't meet with anyone, but not do to lack of trying. Maybe he paid, signed up, and just didn't get any matches. Dating apps are not easy for the average man.
However:
He said it should mean a lot to me that he was on a dating app and saw all those girls but still picked me.
I'd call that a bit of a red flag. Like you're supposed to be grateful that he wants you back.
Honestly, I feel like you're too young to be wasting your time on this. You've got your whole life ahead of you, just cut your losses now and move on.
No
She said they were always upfront that they would never do anything with anyone married. That after his fiancé cheated on him, he could never do that or inflict that pain on anyone knowing the damage it does.
Lol ask him if you need to give up your passport? I wouldn’t go.
Don't stay with a cheat, your boundary of no male friends will not work long term.
Just break up, she cheated once then did a photo shoot with her new friend.
It’s not funny.
Her family is gonna love finding out why they’re gonna lose money on the wedding.
Not my fault you can't pick up that this guy is full of it
If he truly has a track record of being honest and straight forward, why do you need to go through his phone past clicking on the notification rather than straight up asking, then doubt him on his word after you played detective and found nothing.
Personally that behavior would raise a red flag factory in my head.
She sounds like a nut and exhausting. No one should control you and your pet like that it’s toxic as.
I said she's currently on a girl's trip, so she's not currently here. She will be back on friday.
I think her heart will be in a place similar to mine, where we can't believe that this past decade is coming to a romantic end.
I genuinely believe that she was trying to end things at the cake testing. We were arguing about the cake, but it wasn't really about the cake. Using cake metaphors to reference our relationship. That's when she questioned why we were doing this. I asked “cake testing?”. She said sighed and said no, but then a worker came back and we didn't talk about on the ride back. She went on her trip the following day.
She doesn’t get to decide whether or not you get a relationship with your child. The name thing is tricker but I honestly don’t see why it’s such a big deal. It’s common in many cultures so I’d hardly call it non traditional, just not a tradition you’re used to.
The bigger issue (than the name, not the custody) is that you seem to think that marriage boils down to her changing her last name. If that’s all you think of it you shouldn’t marry her or anyone.
RUN
RUN
Please tell me you used protection.
He had sex, but he thought it was you he had sex with. Since you weren't there, someone else was.
Yes, this is correct. OP your ex-boyfriend (he needs to be an ex) isn’t just immature or a bad drunk. He is cruel. He and his friends intentionally and knowingly made you feel horrible, and sober him has spent days making the situation worse. Whatever good qualities he may have are far outweighed by this.
He’s never given me a reason not to trust him, my trust issues are deep within myself and they are kind of debilitating
Just delete the info from your phone if it was from years ago and no longer applicable to your life.
Her over-the-top reaction, in public, is a red flag.
And, yes, you should be honest with anyone you want to build a long-term relationship with.
She seems incapable of telling him “no” clearly. He might get upset.
Posts like this make me sick to my stomach
I know you know, in your gut, that he’s cheating. You want to be wrong but you’re not. I have been there. SO many of us on this subreddit have been there. I just want you to know I’m sorry, you aren’t alone, and I promise it does get better. The loneliness you feel while single is not nearly as painful as the loneliness you feel when staying with a cheater.
Well I never said it’s because they’re disagreeing with me and I do agree that getting help first and if it doesn’t work then he might need to leave but still
He wants you back but mad at himself, so he blocks you, trying to preserve his dignity.