I am not a perfect husband or father but I never have or never would hit my wife or feed my own or any child illicit substances – and I say this as someone who lives in a legal state and keeps it in the house.
Oh boy. You kind of burried the lead. I'm sure his family was polite to you and all, but I have a burning suspicion, they wouldn't be pleased with you marrying him. Or anything remotely serious that looks like it could end up in marriage. For whatever reason he keeps you secret from his family. He doesn't want you to get to know them, he doesn't want them to think you are his serious girlfriend (which sorry to say, you are not). This is just not going to end well. You will never get more space and time and priority in his life, because he doesn't want to. He blatantly just tells you what you want to hear to pacify you and keep you around for the benefits, but doesn't follow through. Actions speak way louder than any words. Please, have an honest hard look what is actually there, not what you wish was there, and realize, it isn't good enough. You should let it go and move on. Really. You deserve better and he isn't going to do better. You have explained, you have communicated, he had way more than enough chances, now it's time to love yourself and let him go.
Dammit! This reads like a romcom script and I’m rooting for you. Hell, show her this entire post and just leave her to read it while you leave the room. It’s your heart poured out about the woman you love beyond anything. I think it’s lovely.
Just do nothing. If your husband wants to address it let him, but this isn’t something you really need to bring up. You know that she’s struggling, and to be blunt you aren’t entitled to her words or sympathy. Obviously this goes both ways though — there is zero obligation for you to be involved if and when she does conceive.
My dad had a rare talent for not being polite to my mum’s friends so they felt unwelcome and my mum felt embarrassed.
It ended up with my mum and us non being able to invite friends round or having to make sure they were gone by the time dad finished work. It meant my mum’s social life became limited.
Apologise to your wife, work out what you’d do in a similar situation next time and don’t be like my dad.
Maybe he’s telling the truth and he’s polyamorous and able to love multiple people at once. Open up your relationship and see what happens. The alternative is a hot dumpster fire that is bound to end in divorce.
Porn is a thief. It steals intimacy, it steals time and attention that should be yours. If he’s not hungry he won’t hunt.
Honestly the age thing doesn't bother me at all. My parents have a big age gap and I never cared.
But this guy sounds like a mooch. No one likes a mooch.
This is so fucked up OP.
I am not a perfect husband or father but I never have or never would hit my wife or feed my own or any child illicit substances – and I say this as someone who lives in a legal state and keeps it in the house.
Oh boy. You kind of burried the lead. I'm sure his family was polite to you and all, but I have a burning suspicion, they wouldn't be pleased with you marrying him. Or anything remotely serious that looks like it could end up in marriage. For whatever reason he keeps you secret from his family. He doesn't want you to get to know them, he doesn't want them to think you are his serious girlfriend (which sorry to say, you are not). This is just not going to end well. You will never get more space and time and priority in his life, because he doesn't want to. He blatantly just tells you what you want to hear to pacify you and keep you around for the benefits, but doesn't follow through. Actions speak way louder than any words. Please, have an honest hard look what is actually there, not what you wish was there, and realize, it isn't good enough. You should let it go and move on. Really. You deserve better and he isn't going to do better. You have explained, you have communicated, he had way more than enough chances, now it's time to love yourself and let him go.
Great advice
Dammit! This reads like a romcom script and I’m rooting for you. Hell, show her this entire post and just leave her to read it while you leave the room. It’s your heart poured out about the woman you love beyond anything. I think it’s lovely.
Just do nothing. If your husband wants to address it let him, but this isn’t something you really need to bring up. You know that she’s struggling, and to be blunt you aren’t entitled to her words or sympathy. Obviously this goes both ways though — there is zero obligation for you to be involved if and when she does conceive.
And what if he wasn't? Or didn't want to take her? (Obviously this would make him a shit parent too, but hypothetically)
you’re probably right!
Yes
My dad had a rare talent for not being polite to my mum’s friends so they felt unwelcome and my mum felt embarrassed.
It ended up with my mum and us non being able to invite friends round or having to make sure they were gone by the time dad finished work. It meant my mum’s social life became limited.
Apologise to your wife, work out what you’d do in a similar situation next time and don’t be like my dad.
Maybe he’s telling the truth and he’s polyamorous and able to love multiple people at once. Open up your relationship and see what happens. The alternative is a hot dumpster fire that is bound to end in divorce.