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Date: December 16, 2022
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Like others are saying, try to join some clubs that frequently meet f2f. I go to a painting class once a week, I know others who have joined an improv class and found friends there as well.
There’s only one part here that could be objectively concerning, and that’s when you said “she doesn’t feel the same towards me.” But I also said “could” for a reason, because I’d need more context around that. But I’ll get into it later, because I want to address your title and other things you mentioned around it.
As a general statement, it’s been a month. In saying that, you’ve spent 19 years of your life without her. Yet here you are. You survived. Why do I tell you that? Because you know you can live without her. What did you do before she existed?
Independence is important and healthy in a relationship. That means time to yourself and with friends, without your partner. It’s unhealthy to make your partner your entire life. It’s separately doesn’t show a lack of commitment to not make every waking minute of your life around your partner. So while she’s out living her life, you’re living miserably in slow motion. Why? Life doesn’t exist beyond her? I know it does, because I pointed out why earlier. So the advice is to make sure you have a life of your own. Then you won’t be staring at your phone on edge all day.
For the rest, I only have questions because I need more context to give proper advice. How are her parents controlling? How often can you see her? How often would you “like” to see her?
To bring it back to the beginning, why do you think she doesn’t feel the same way as you? Why would it be “fine?” It’s important context, because it will help me and us determine if you’re being unreasonable and are creating unrealistic expectations. You’ll have to let us know.
The issue is you never trusting him. Some guys use condoms to jerk off in. If I were you I would ask in person bc you can see the reaction in action. However, I don’t think y’all should be dating bc you don’t seem ready for a relationship if you have trust issues.
I’ve always found out, I’ve had four out of my nine ex’s cheat on me, three of those cheaters are abusive…
One of those ex’s in particular use to play off abusive things as “jokes”.
And here’s the thing, all jokes have some bit of truth sprinkled in. And the people who don’t want you to realize they are telling on themselves will back peddle when the joke doesn’t land or you get upset then brush it off as, “I’m just kidding, I didn’t mean it, lighten up. It’s just a joke”, which is in fact gaslighting. This is how mirco level abusive behavior is with abusive people and it’s yellow flag that is masking the red flags.
You do nothing apart from leave.
She is not your responsibility or problem anymore.
And sorry but she is a villain, she will never change. Once a cheater always a cheater, and in her case, she’s a serial cheater.
With great compassion, this is far above Reddit’s pay grade. Please seek professional advice. I wish you freedom and happiness, and hope you find that soon.
He was blackout drunk. He could not consent. She was sober. That’s not cheating. That’s SA.