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Date: September 25, 2022
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You ask why men do it. Men and women both do it.
You ask why “these days”. It's a difference in society and what is acceptable, the “norm”, etc.
In times past, women really didn't have a choice. They were dependent on the man in many ways; financially, housing, etc. To leave a relationship meant losing that, and, with as hard as it was in those days for women, many women simply stayed despite the issues and toxicity. Men didn't have to leave, or compromise, or work on the relationship.
In today's times, that has changed. Women do have a choice. They aren't dependent on a man financially, for housing, etc. They don't have to take toxicity and just “deal” with it. They can end a relationship and find another man. Men, in this day, grow up with the online app hookup culture. Just swipe and find a date. That didn't work? Swipe again!
Times change. Locality and proximity is no longer an issue. Your “pool” of available relationship partners no longer rests on the 5 daughters or sons in your little area. It's just too easy now to find other people to date and have a relationship with for people to want to work on what they have unless they are really invested emotionally into that person.
Yes I agree with sitting down for a chat. My frustration lies in the fact that I’ve gone about the situation just as you recommended not once but twice in the past thinking it wouldn’t happen again since we came to a mutual understanding/agreement. I don’t want to be controlling or manipulative in any way towards her being that she’s already been through that in the past. A lot have mentioned that we should go counseling if I don’t decide to call it quits which I really don’t want to over something so little like this but it’s much more deeper than what I had posted. I so appreciate your feedback and seeing both sides to the story. Gotta love Reddit!
You’re right 🙁 thank you for your advice and I think it’s time to do like you say and move on. There’s always time to find other people
A lot of people got held back a year and were told by mom that it's normal in the comments. Y'all know 18 is legal adult age cuz that's when you're supposed to graduate high school, right? 19 is in college ? ?
I feel like this is a hypothetical.
If im mistaken, my deepest apologies.
Wondering how to tell him politely something you said you've already told him implies you've not been polite about it previously.
You've already told him. He's already assured you. There is no magic way to tell him further. You either work on your insecurities or you admit you're with someone you don't trust. If he's done nothing to earn your distrust, then it's a you problem. Maybe some individual therapy to figure out why you're this insecure?
First step?
Move out. She'll be fine.
Step two?
Break off all contact with that pedophile narcissist.
And just how can you tell that that's what they're doing?
I think all suicide attempts need to be taken seriously. If it was a serious attempt, obviously the victim needs help.
If it was an attempt at manipulation, the response shouldn't change. I remember when a woman from the Samaritans (charity with a suicide hotline in the UK) came to talk at school. She said they often had prank calls in the summer holidays when kids were bored. They always took them seriously, because who knows, one day one of those kids might need their help and will be reluctant to call if they were brushed off when playing their prank.
A manipulator threatening suicide needs to see that the suicide threats will be treated seriously and that that will involve hospitals and psychiatrists rather than the person they are trying to manipulate yielding to them.
I don’t feel entitled. Im just concerned for him because it has something to do with the brain. And I’m asking this because I’m wondering whether it’s because he doesn’t trust me
You need to reach out to her and tell her that you slept with her wife. You really have to, and soon. You didn't do anything wrong, you just need to do the right thing and let her know.
Catch up with her, then ask if she has an open relationship and go from there.
Honestly I just roll my eyes or when he asks what I would do if he leaves me I just say “I’d move on”. Is he just gonna leave if he can’t get a reaction out of me like he wants or will he eventually just cut it out?? I wanna be with him but if he wants to purposefully hurt me I don’t wanna be in a relationship like that, I just got out of that mess not too long ago I’m tired
He literally said she would be so easy to rape at a certain moment. That is not something anyone needs to be around