I was shouting and swearing but there were no threats and most of what I remember saying was about how she needs to take better care of herself and stop letting her own problems get so bad that I have to come in and help her and get fucked over in the process. I shouldn’t have to keep being the adult in the situation, and why can’t she just leave me alone for once. Was mostly about how she lied about her garbage situation in the garage because…well I don’t know why. She was letting garbage bags pile up around the house.
Yeah, but she still has the whole “but she is still your mom” mindset. I didn’t really push things tho.
Yes which is what makes this so tough.
Unfortunately, she called me and ended things earlier today. I didn’t really get to say much in regards to the advice I’ve gotten here. Sucks, but I guess I have to respect it.
Stop meeting up outside of work. You’ve moved the goalposts so that now she sees it as her right and your obligation to have you as her therapist.
When she has a meltdown tell her you don’t know what to say to her and that maybe she should talk to her mentor or whoever is leading this training as you’re in the same position as her.
Try not to always hang out with her at work. Start mixing with other people in your course.
love, my friend. it’s hard to get rid of. plus we’ve been together 3 years. yes i cry weekly and he’s been really mean to me a lot but my brain is really broken down and confused because i still love him. but i don’t like him or am in love with him. idk. i feel bad blocking to end the relationship. but if i talk to him he’ll gaslight me and be mean again. it’s not easy. i don’t feel strong
If you think she’s gonna cheat on you at the first instance in a club then that’s the actual issue. Not the club. You’re saying she’s being pressured to go then state she said herself she “wanted to go. Because she had fun”. That doesn’t sound like she’s being pressured to go. It sounds like you have trust issues and the club is the place that brings it out the most.
Now is not the time in your life to be in a relationship. You need to choose some things. It’s normal for couples to spend time together and it’s not ok to be too busy to attend to your partner’s needs. She’s not wrong, you’re not wrong, but you need to decide if you’re going to advance your education or settle down. She said she’s not moving, is that a dealbreaker or not?
I understand. We never encourage our friend to be in this situation. We do not condone his actions. We told him to get out of this situation a long time ago. I appreciate all the feedback and responses people have been sharing and I am of the same sentiment too.
Sorry but he’s not respectful….If he was he wouldn’t have pushed the subject and tried the guilt trip because you said no……ESPECIALLY for a first date
Also just a safety tip…..I suggest you meet at a restaurant or public place for a first date and organise your own transport home…..At least until you’re a few dates in and have a sense of the person
Just remember people are on their best behaviour on the first couple of dates and it takes awhile to get a sense of them
I agree with you that weddings are out of control but you are not creating a fun wedding. You want to use your wedding to make a point about the consumerism of weddings. You say you’ve never been to a wedding with no gifts. That’s your friend group. Weddings without gifts are not the norm but are common. I have been to many weddings where the couple asked for no gifts and people did not bring gifts. Your text to put in the invitation is very rude. It suggests that you think your friends are assholes who can’t follow instructions. The far more standard “your presence is all we need. No gifts, please” or something along those lines can get your message across and still be polite. I’ve seen this many times for weddings and other events. It is not at all uncommon. Good luck.
I was shouting and swearing but there were no threats and most of what I remember saying was about how she needs to take better care of herself and stop letting her own problems get so bad that I have to come in and help her and get fucked over in the process. I shouldn’t have to keep being the adult in the situation, and why can’t she just leave me alone for once. Was mostly about how she lied about her garbage situation in the garage because…well I don’t know why. She was letting garbage bags pile up around the house.
Yeah, but she still has the whole “but she is still your mom” mindset. I didn’t really push things tho.
Yes which is what makes this so tough.
Unfortunately, she called me and ended things earlier today. I didn’t really get to say much in regards to the advice I’ve gotten here. Sucks, but I guess I have to respect it.
Stop meeting up outside of work. You’ve moved the goalposts so that now she sees it as her right and your obligation to have you as her therapist.
When she has a meltdown tell her you don’t know what to say to her and that maybe she should talk to her mentor or whoever is leading this training as you’re in the same position as her.
Try not to always hang out with her at work. Start mixing with other people in your course.
Aw, why do I find that endearing?
love, my friend. it’s hard to get rid of. plus we’ve been together 3 years. yes i cry weekly and he’s been really mean to me a lot but my brain is really broken down and confused because i still love him. but i don’t like him or am in love with him. idk. i feel bad blocking to end the relationship. but if i talk to him he’ll gaslight me and be mean again. it’s not easy. i don’t feel strong
If you think she’s gonna cheat on you at the first instance in a club then that’s the actual issue. Not the club. You’re saying she’s being pressured to go then state she said herself she “wanted to go. Because she had fun”. That doesn’t sound like she’s being pressured to go. It sounds like you have trust issues and the club is the place that brings it out the most.
Now is not the time in your life to be in a relationship. You need to choose some things. It’s normal for couples to spend time together and it’s not ok to be too busy to attend to your partner’s needs. She’s not wrong, you’re not wrong, but you need to decide if you’re going to advance your education or settle down. She said she’s not moving, is that a dealbreaker or not?
If an undeveloped brain becomes the metric of adult then I’m afraid the person you’re replying to will be a kid for a very long time
Don't look and she will have her privacy.
Well I guess her best friend is now your best friend, because they did you a huge favor.
I understand. We never encourage our friend to be in this situation. We do not condone his actions. We told him to get out of this situation a long time ago. I appreciate all the feedback and responses people have been sharing and I am of the same sentiment too.
Lmao I made that post and claimed it was a social experiment ? I didn't know what else to do
Guy here
Sorry but he’s not respectful….If he was he wouldn’t have pushed the subject and tried the guilt trip because you said no……ESPECIALLY for a first date
Also just a safety tip…..I suggest you meet at a restaurant or public place for a first date and organise your own transport home…..At least until you’re a few dates in and have a sense of the person
Just remember people are on their best behaviour on the first couple of dates and it takes awhile to get a sense of them
I agree with you that weddings are out of control but you are not creating a fun wedding. You want to use your wedding to make a point about the consumerism of weddings. You say you’ve never been to a wedding with no gifts. That’s your friend group. Weddings without gifts are not the norm but are common. I have been to many weddings where the couple asked for no gifts and people did not bring gifts. Your text to put in the invitation is very rude. It suggests that you think your friends are assholes who can’t follow instructions. The far more standard “your presence is all we need. No gifts, please” or something along those lines can get your message across and still be polite. I’ve seen this many times for weddings and other events. It is not at all uncommon. Good luck.