Men reel harder from heartbreak cos it's almost to us, a failure that we are responsible for. There's nothing to save here. If she's taken that time and made that turn with you, then it's time to take your loss and move on. There's better in front, I believe that
“Financial treachery”, she dared to have friends, and you didn’t see your child for three years because one lawyer told you not to? Wow. The only one of those where this doesn’t sound like a you problem is the first, and it makes me wonder what the first one actually means.
Yeah honestly to help support him if you still want to be together you have to start with small steps, like no smoking until xyz is done so it's more of a reward rather than a necessity.
This even took me years, the fact that I had a job meant I couldn't smoke until the evenings either so that's what helped me but as soon as I got home I was craving it because of habit.
My next stage was finding a replacement of things to do in the evening which was the gym. Now by the time I got home it was like 8/9 pm and I'd be tired from the gym and I'd cut down from 3 to 1.
But I did slip up and start smoking before the gym even when I didn't want to. It's hard.
However be aware if you push too hard it can lead to resentment. Weed also numbs pain stress and emotions – do you know why he is smoking? Could it be anxiety or depression or just leisure? There could also be like a can of worms you might not be able to deal with. Just don't give ultimatums
Yea I know all of these things and I would say that too if it was for a friend of mine, but being in it myself its so difficult.. I just dont get why he would show me to his family if he aint actually trying to get himself to work on it. But ye. U might be right, which is my worst fear with this shit
You have enough evidence to bail with your head held high, OP. I remember dating a guy and finding a single ankle sock in his bed that was clearly for women but didn’t belong to me (also who the heck was the poor girl leaving his place with only a single sock?!). Cut your losses and toss that fish back into the sea.
Something fishy is going on. No woman that is absolutely innocent in this would want things to be swept under and still be friends. Those photos were supposed to go to someone and it was not you. Time to have a serious conversation with a legal professional and get some real answers. I am sorry this happened to you.
What would you be waiting for? She broke up with you. Serious question. Are you saying that you want to wait until you graduate and then ask if she wants you to move there?
I want to take turns not spilt the bills. In my previous relationships, I've rarely paid in half. (Never sent a half or money. Instead man usually got lunch and dessert was on me.
I thought it was weird to send money between lovers.
Love does not conquer everything. You two are already toxic to each other and your daughter is suffering the consequences by learning how a relationship works, to her detriment.
You need to file for divorce and do better for your daughter.
Having so much uncertainty makes me question if I'm in love with this person. I feel like it should be easy to determine. Any advice? Thank you for your replies btw
Pushing you to commit to buying a house before you're married when you've already established that boundary is wrong, but him buying a house on his own if you're not there yet is understandable, but I get why it might come off how it did to you. Again, I would just have another conversation about it and tell him how you feel.
Well chances are she has someone else in mind so is now not sure about you. If she doesn't want to move in together, don't move in together. You are young with plenty of time to find the right person for you. Back off and see what she does. Also check around and see if she has become interested in some One else.
The problem with LDRs is that they can lead to wondering interest in other people.
To be a serial monogamous like you say you need to play the field while on a relationship. You may be more special but I wouldn’t think too much of his gestures unless you’re aiming for heartbreak.
You should ignore your mother and live your life. Your mother is woefully uninformed and not even speaking from her own experience. An open marriage is doesn’t necessarily mean a partner can have a child with someone outside the marriage, or even that they would want to.
You and your husband get to decide how to structure your partnership. It’s none of your mother’s business.
If you are controlling your feelings, does this mean you haven't had crushes or you haven't acted on them. If you have had them, but not told your SO is that lying by omission?
I don't tell my husband of 18 years about my crushes, because I know they come and go. Likewise he has crushes that he doesn't tell me about. Though it's clear sometimes he has them.
I think crushes in a marriage are fine and normal.
I've been with my husband 11 years old. He has only met my parents (not my choice, his), my sibling, my grandparents (that are alive), one aunt and uncle. Everyone else I protected him from. He only sees my mother like 4xs a year, and she is 20 minutes away. My father he hasn't in many years because he's an asshole. But my family is cut throat and will do anything to get someone's trust taken out of a will. My grandmother's own siblings tried to steal her and change her will on her deathbed. The drama that is in my family is mind-blowing, and I don't tell my husband half of it in fear that he will start questioning why he married someone with such crazy family.
I've been to many family members' weddings without my husband because I didn't believe in the marriage now, like the soon to be spouse. Out of the 10 marriages in 11 years, only 1 is still married.
It sounds like OPs gf is really unhappy and doesn't want to go herself. She is feeling very hurt by her brother not communicating with her. They have only been together near a yr. This is more complex than he gets. His last part about her liking to keep her life separated makes this even more that he's taking this the wrong way. That she isn't in the same place as him, that she isn't comfortable with him going at this time.
I remember when my husband and I were six months into our relationship. His grandfather passed away, a man who helped raise him and was his hero. I offered to go with him but he wanted his family at that time. I completely understood and never felt hurt over his decision to need to go on his own with his family. He had his needs, and it was his own feelings and his family, not my business.
The best part of adulthood is being able to set and reinforce your own boundaries. You were forced to attend their wedding because you were a kid then. I understand that your decision to act out the way you did wasn't ideal, but you were a kid, and this woman and your dad had just blown up your family.
You apologized, and tried to be gracious and included them in your wedding 15 years later. Your Dad knew what your Stepmom had planned, and went along with it. You're entirely justified in cutting these petty, awful people out of your life forever. Also, it's time to have a serious conversation with your Mother about growing a spine and not just capitulating to keep some imaginary peace. Do what's best for you and your family without regret.
Youre completly right. Its not but gonna be honest its been like this for a while. My friends can attest im very addicted to this girl. I guess it really just comes down to me talking to her and seeing where it goes
Youre completly right. Its not but gonna be honest its been like this for a while. My friends can attest im very addicted to this girl. I guess it really just comes down to me talking to her and seeing where it goes
Youre completly right. Its not but gonna be honest its been like this for a while. My friends can attest im very addicted to this girl. I guess it really just comes down to me talking to her and seeing where it goes
I guess all you can do is sit him down and tell him
Men reel harder from heartbreak cos it's almost to us, a failure that we are responsible for. There's nothing to save here. If she's taken that time and made that turn with you, then it's time to take your loss and move on. There's better in front, I believe that
“Financial treachery”, she dared to have friends, and you didn’t see your child for three years because one lawyer told you not to? Wow. The only one of those where this doesn’t sound like a you problem is the first, and it makes me wonder what the first one actually means.
Same for me.
Exactly its wither 50-50 or 0-0 never 90-10
Probably not if it just leaked
Yeah honestly to help support him if you still want to be together you have to start with small steps, like no smoking until xyz is done so it's more of a reward rather than a necessity.
This even took me years, the fact that I had a job meant I couldn't smoke until the evenings either so that's what helped me but as soon as I got home I was craving it because of habit.
My next stage was finding a replacement of things to do in the evening which was the gym. Now by the time I got home it was like 8/9 pm and I'd be tired from the gym and I'd cut down from 3 to 1.
But I did slip up and start smoking before the gym even when I didn't want to. It's hard.
However be aware if you push too hard it can lead to resentment. Weed also numbs pain stress and emotions – do you know why he is smoking? Could it be anxiety or depression or just leisure? There could also be like a can of worms you might not be able to deal with. Just don't give ultimatums
Maybe start with that? Talk about it together
Yea I know all of these things and I would say that too if it was for a friend of mine, but being in it myself its so difficult.. I just dont get why he would show me to his family if he aint actually trying to get himself to work on it. But ye. U might be right, which is my worst fear with this shit
You have enough evidence to bail with your head held high, OP. I remember dating a guy and finding a single ankle sock in his bed that was clearly for women but didn’t belong to me (also who the heck was the poor girl leaving his place with only a single sock?!). Cut your losses and toss that fish back into the sea.
Something fishy is going on. No woman that is absolutely innocent in this would want things to be swept under and still be friends. Those photos were supposed to go to someone and it was not you. Time to have a serious conversation with a legal professional and get some real answers. I am sorry this happened to you.
Sounds like an unhealthy relationship all around. You need time and space so you never pull a stunt like this again.
Yeah?, thanks
Sorry if I wasn't clear, she is not into anal either. She has IBS which makes it way too sensitive.
What would you be waiting for? She broke up with you. Serious question. Are you saying that you want to wait until you graduate and then ask if she wants you to move there?
I want to take turns not spilt the bills. In my previous relationships, I've rarely paid in half. (Never sent a half or money. Instead man usually got lunch and dessert was on me.
I thought it was weird to send money between lovers.
Love does not conquer everything. You two are already toxic to each other and your daughter is suffering the consequences by learning how a relationship works, to her detriment.
You need to file for divorce and do better for your daughter.
Having so much uncertainty makes me question if I'm in love with this person. I feel like it should be easy to determine. Any advice? Thank you for your replies btw
Pushing you to commit to buying a house before you're married when you've already established that boundary is wrong, but him buying a house on his own if you're not there yet is understandable, but I get why it might come off how it did to you. Again, I would just have another conversation about it and tell him how you feel.
How was the open relationship experience? What ups and downs did you two experience?
Well chances are she has someone else in mind so is now not sure about you. If she doesn't want to move in together, don't move in together. You are young with plenty of time to find the right person for you. Back off and see what she does. Also check around and see if she has become interested in some One else.
The problem with LDRs is that they can lead to wondering interest in other people.
Why do you think she was treated bad?
To be a serial monogamous like you say you need to play the field while on a relationship. You may be more special but I wouldn’t think too much of his gestures unless you’re aiming for heartbreak.
You should ignore your mother and live your life. Your mother is woefully uninformed and not even speaking from her own experience. An open marriage is doesn’t necessarily mean a partner can have a child with someone outside the marriage, or even that they would want to.
You and your husband get to decide how to structure your partnership. It’s none of your mother’s business.
You married this guy? What on earth were you thinking? It is cheating and lying.
I can't believe everyone here is crucifying me for not immediately jumping to the worst-case scenario…
If you are controlling your feelings, does this mean you haven't had crushes or you haven't acted on them. If you have had them, but not told your SO is that lying by omission?
I don't tell my husband of 18 years about my crushes, because I know they come and go. Likewise he has crushes that he doesn't tell me about. Though it's clear sometimes he has them.
I think crushes in a marriage are fine and normal.
I've been with my husband 11 years old. He has only met my parents (not my choice, his), my sibling, my grandparents (that are alive), one aunt and uncle. Everyone else I protected him from. He only sees my mother like 4xs a year, and she is 20 minutes away. My father he hasn't in many years because he's an asshole. But my family is cut throat and will do anything to get someone's trust taken out of a will. My grandmother's own siblings tried to steal her and change her will on her deathbed. The drama that is in my family is mind-blowing, and I don't tell my husband half of it in fear that he will start questioning why he married someone with such crazy family.
I've been to many family members' weddings without my husband because I didn't believe in the marriage now, like the soon to be spouse. Out of the 10 marriages in 11 years, only 1 is still married.
It sounds like OPs gf is really unhappy and doesn't want to go herself. She is feeling very hurt by her brother not communicating with her. They have only been together near a yr. This is more complex than he gets. His last part about her liking to keep her life separated makes this even more that he's taking this the wrong way. That she isn't in the same place as him, that she isn't comfortable with him going at this time.
I remember when my husband and I were six months into our relationship. His grandfather passed away, a man who helped raise him and was his hero. I offered to go with him but he wanted his family at that time. I completely understood and never felt hurt over his decision to need to go on his own with his family. He had his needs, and it was his own feelings and his family, not my business.
The best part of adulthood is being able to set and reinforce your own boundaries. You were forced to attend their wedding because you were a kid then. I understand that your decision to act out the way you did wasn't ideal, but you were a kid, and this woman and your dad had just blown up your family.
You apologized, and tried to be gracious and included them in your wedding 15 years later. Your Dad knew what your Stepmom had planned, and went along with it. You're entirely justified in cutting these petty, awful people out of your life forever. Also, it's time to have a serious conversation with your Mother about growing a spine and not just capitulating to keep some imaginary peace. Do what's best for you and your family without regret.
Youre completly right. Its not but gonna be honest its been like this for a while. My friends can attest im very addicted to this girl. I guess it really just comes down to me talking to her and seeing where it goes
Youre completly right. Its not but gonna be honest its been like this for a while. My friends can attest im very addicted to this girl. I guess it really just comes down to me talking to her and seeing where it goes
Youre completly right. Its not but gonna be honest its been like this for a while. My friends can attest im very addicted to this girl. I guess it really just comes down to me talking to her and seeing where it goes