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Date: November 2, 2022
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Agreed, this should be stated explicitly, not hinted at or implied
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If you have mental health problems that you require support for, and if your partner is struggling to support you, then you need to escalate your source of support to a trained professional. Your partner can only do so much, and you'll only drive her away if you keep demanding support from her that she is unable to provide.
I've never understood why people feel the need to justify their TA account at all
Just post the damn story, nobody cares if it's a TA or not
Honestly that is a pretty relaxed definition of “forced”.
She cheated.
Everyone had a past. Anyone who continues to bring up his past or allows his friends to bring up his past in front of you is an immature moron. I never did that to my wife. I had way more experience than she did. Have a one-on-one with him and tell him to stop being a cock.
ah and i liked shots and parties at 18 a looot. and didn't end up an alcoholic, just for the record. if you really want to make her stop or at least give it a fair chance at trying to, approach her from a place of curiosity, kindness empathy and don't have these kind of talks when she's drunk.
(but isn’t getting off while sexting other people a way of physical cheating?!)
Depends on the people and the relationship. Some people consider this cheating, some don't. The issue is you guys didn't talk about it. He kept it secret, because he knew, or decided he knew at least, that you would not be okay with it. Turns out, you are not okay with it, so he was right. That makes it officially cheating, which is what he thought it was all along. He knew he was being a cheater.
I hate that he turned me into one of those women I used to feel sorry for. That he turned us into a couple we used to gossip about.
You are being hard on yourself for no good reason. Sure now you know how it feels to be on the other side, and know you know you were being very harsh towards the one that had no idea. But you literally had no idea. Be as easy on yourself now as you wish you had been on those other ones who were also blindsided. This is not your fault.
Why does the victim have to be the bigger person and forgive?
You don't. I mean, you should forgive, even if you decide to leave, because holding a grudge is a weight on you. But in no way should you forgive until everything is resolved. Forgive and stay, forgive and leave, neither is an option until you know how best you can live with what has happened, and what will happen. Forgive when it is over.
What would you do if you were in my shoes?
He'd have to go to therapy. He'd have to agree to everything it would take for me to feel whole again after he has ripped my whole world apart through his own selfishness. He'd have to make it up to me, whatever it took. And he would definitely have to show me that he truly regretted that anything he did caused me pain. True regret, not just sad he got caught and has to face consequences. Yes sir, you have to face consequences for your actions. You also now have to make up for the pain you caused me specifically by your actions, and by marrying me and then showing me you don't really love or respect me. If he can't do that, then it is time to leave. Whenever you decide he can't make it up adequately, it is time to leave. Whether he wants it or not. If it makes him sad or not. Because you can't be a whole family if you aren't whole as a couple.
You're the exact reason men dont open up to their partners what an awful mindset you have
He doesn't owe anyone a full story unless he wants to share it, but in a relationship he is owed support
As much as I hate this term it really is the bare minimum