You literally spent half of my rent for some schmuck who might appreciate all you do for him, but not at your level. Next, you'll be covering household, rent/mortgage/bills. If you continue this situationship, you'll wind up in debt. He's not magical. Nor is he your soul mate. Save your $$ and do yourself a grandiose favor and find a man who can actually try to be grateful. Dump this L!!
I would argue it's actually an important part of realizing who you are and what you're going to evolve into. Yes, it will almost certainly end in heartbreak for one or probably both parties, but that's just part of being a person. It sucks, nobody likes it, but it's how you learn how to pick yourself back up again, and the only reliable way to avoid heartbreak is to close yourself off from any chance of love until you decide you're “ready for your forever spouse”, which ironically slows your growth towards actually being able to keep a relationship going for a long time without massively screwing up. Experience is how we learn, and sometimes that experience sucks enormous smelly donkey cock, but we still learn from it all the same.
Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, and all that.
I can see how ziplock bags full of deceased animal fur in your drawer was probably the straw that broke the camel's back here.
I'm betting he thinks (probably rightfully so) that you have a bit of a hoarding problem… Sugar packets and silica gel packets are hoarding behaviour, but the fur bags–? He's likely wondering, as I did… did you cut that off once they were already dead? Do you keep a bag of fur on rotation and swap it out if the animal doesn't die in a given time period? How does the fur work? It does get close to feeling unhygenic (ie: if the pet died of something you wouldn't want a bag full of in your drawer), etc.
It does prompt the question– “What other weird shit”? (At least, for me.)
Potentially, there is nothing you can do to help her overcome her depression; this is something she must have herself.
She will need professional help for her depression. People who experience abuse often disconnect from their emotions in order to protect themselves, and this causes many issues including depression.
In the nicest way possible, you’re lying to yourself, and I don’t even think you’re doing it on purpose.
He’s a good guy? Good guys secretly tell someone other than their partner that they wish they were with them and that they were in love with them?
What he’s doing is called emotional infidelity. If he doesn’t see her as the person for him, then he should leave his wife to give her an opportunity to find someone who isn’t a lying scumbag, whether you exist or not. Either way, he hasn’t left her. Why’s that?
Think about what you’re saying at the end. He won’t leave her unless you say something. He’s such a good person that he wants to leave his wife, but if he doesn’t have a viable person to leave her for, he’ll deal with living a lie so that he won’t be alone.
I’m really not, that is exactly what most of the comments here are making out, like living together makes us automatically better partners. There are tons of far less strong couples living together; it doesn’t mean anything automatically
My mom is like this too, I’m sorry that you’ve grown up with that. One thing I’ve noticed is that my mom tends to be different with guys I date, like she is just so grateful a man would date me that she isn’t as hard on them about the weight. I would prepare him, but also just make sure that when you’re together it stand up for him if she says something.
I know that isn’t much help, but there may be a silver lining in meeting my mom always helped my boyfriends to understand me better and I always felt a lot closer to them because it was nice to have someone there with me, good luck op
You literally spent half of my rent for some schmuck who might appreciate all you do for him, but not at your level. Next, you'll be covering household, rent/mortgage/bills. If you continue this situationship, you'll wind up in debt. He's not magical. Nor is he your soul mate. Save your $$ and do yourself a grandiose favor and find a man who can actually try to be grateful. Dump this L!!
I would argue it's actually an important part of realizing who you are and what you're going to evolve into. Yes, it will almost certainly end in heartbreak for one or probably both parties, but that's just part of being a person. It sucks, nobody likes it, but it's how you learn how to pick yourself back up again, and the only reliable way to avoid heartbreak is to close yourself off from any chance of love until you decide you're “ready for your forever spouse”, which ironically slows your growth towards actually being able to keep a relationship going for a long time without massively screwing up. Experience is how we learn, and sometimes that experience sucks enormous smelly donkey cock, but we still learn from it all the same.
Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, and all that.
I can see how ziplock bags full of deceased animal fur in your drawer was probably the straw that broke the camel's back here.
I'm betting he thinks (probably rightfully so) that you have a bit of a hoarding problem… Sugar packets and silica gel packets are hoarding behaviour, but the fur bags–? He's likely wondering, as I did… did you cut that off once they were already dead? Do you keep a bag of fur on rotation and swap it out if the animal doesn't die in a given time period? How does the fur work? It does get close to feeling unhygenic (ie: if the pet died of something you wouldn't want a bag full of in your drawer), etc.
It does prompt the question– “What other weird shit”? (At least, for me.)
Potentially, there is nothing you can do to help her overcome her depression; this is something she must have herself.
She will need professional help for her depression. People who experience abuse often disconnect from their emotions in order to protect themselves, and this causes many issues including depression.
Weird behavior, don’t do that
Hes too immature to be marrying anyone right now unless you're happy to take on the role of his mother
Not living together is a big no before getting married. You think he's bad now, you're probably not seeing half of what's being done for him
In the nicest way possible, you’re lying to yourself, and I don’t even think you’re doing it on purpose.
He’s a good guy? Good guys secretly tell someone other than their partner that they wish they were with them and that they were in love with them?
What he’s doing is called emotional infidelity. If he doesn’t see her as the person for him, then he should leave his wife to give her an opportunity to find someone who isn’t a lying scumbag, whether you exist or not. Either way, he hasn’t left her. Why’s that?
Think about what you’re saying at the end. He won’t leave her unless you say something. He’s such a good person that he wants to leave his wife, but if he doesn’t have a viable person to leave her for, he’ll deal with living a lie so that he won’t be alone.
Why on earth have you gone 4 years and only mentioning this now?
New account is not indicative of a fake post. Many people wish to be anonymous when making a post so they do a throwaway account. Just saying.
That is not your bf If you don’t want to do something don’t do it.
I’m really not, that is exactly what most of the comments here are making out, like living together makes us automatically better partners. There are tons of far less strong couples living together; it doesn’t mean anything automatically
My mom is like this too, I’m sorry that you’ve grown up with that. One thing I’ve noticed is that my mom tends to be different with guys I date, like she is just so grateful a man would date me that she isn’t as hard on them about the weight. I would prepare him, but also just make sure that when you’re together it stand up for him if she says something.
I know that isn’t much help, but there may be a silver lining in meeting my mom always helped my boyfriends to understand me better and I always felt a lot closer to them because it was nice to have someone there with me, good luck op
There is no point in giving effort when she won't give effort back.