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Chantarra, Chant, Chanty, C, Lady C (please not baby, babe, BB, or other pet names), 41 y.o.
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Online Live Sex Chat rooms Chantarra, Chant, Chanty, C, Lady C (please not baby, babe, BB, or other pet names)
Date: October 21, 2022
I'm 44, my gf is 36 and we are sickeningly in love so as long as it is not an issue for either of you I'd say go for it!
Men should not reveal their insecurity. They will lose their woman if they do.
She's having an affair.
I think the bottom line is that he chose to be with you, despite all those big tits bouncing around in the world…
You said yourself, you don't want to skip scenes where men aren't wearing tops, because it could be important to the plot and would be a bother for you. In my opinion he suggested this so you could see how unrealistic your demands are, but you're just not seeing it.
The comparison is definitely there.
His parents have double standards for him compared to his brothers.
You have double standards for him compared to yourself.
The rules are different for him than others. That's the comparison.
The fact he's started bringing it up now suggests maybe he started doing it early in the relationship hoping you'd start to feel more comfortable over time, and it just hasn't happened and, two years in, he is assessing whether there's a future in the relationship, because he probably doesn't want to go his entire life having to do all these calculations before watching a show or movie.
You wouldn't want to skip the scenes with toppless men in it for the rest of your life, he doesn't want to have to continue what he's been doing, self-censoring when he's just trying to relax and absorb some entertainment for the rest of his life, either.
Honestly a hard situation.
The fact that the letter exists and was still in his possession assuming she has already returned to her home state then I can think of two potentially innocent reasons for that. (Context: based on another comment thread OP mentioned the other woman was from another state and visiting for the weekend)
He wrote the letter with intention to give it to other woman and was confronted with a reason not to give it over, could be due to your relationship, your kids, or the other woman’s relationship or any number of reasons. He wrote the letter in an attempt to try and resolve those feelings. And let it go finally.
I feel like #2 is the hopeful scenario since it could indicate that he felt those feelings when she returned but he didn’t want to feel them.
Over all, it doesn’t really seem like there is enough information to really know what is going on, the guy could be unfaithful, or he could be taking steps to try and keep himself faithful.
Probably the only recommendation I could say is to gain more information, a discussion is needed to figure out here his heart lies, if he claims it is with you then the next step is couples therapy, though that is assuming you would want to keep the relationship with him. I should mention I am the farthest thing from an expert on this so that’s why I figure couples therapy would be better than any random advice I (as an internet stranger) could provide.
Best wishes for you and your children, you all deserve a stable future whatever that entails!
What exactly do you believe he's lying to you about? Regardless this does not sound like an issue you yourself can fix especially if you've expressed your sadness at the lack of time you two spend together.
What I will say is this. You very clearly do not sound all too thrilled with how the relationship is right and even as an outsider it does sound like hes using you if the only times you guys meet up it's just for sex.
Now there are things you can do to prevent this. The obvious one is stop having sex if you feel he's just using you for that. However that clearly doesn't really help long term.
Instead of that why not go out? Make the most of your 2-3 hour time slot. Go see a movie. Go to a museum etc just walk around whatever.
Tbh this is a situation that gets solved by him weighting the consequences of what happens if he stays over too long with you vs losing you.
I understand if his dad is strict. However he is also a 20 year old man. He can sit his dad down and explain that he will hang out with you more. Then again it's not clear in your post if his dad would kick him out or not and really sometimes people don't want to rock their boat with their parents if they still depend on them. It's fine but it may mean you two just aren't compatible due to life issues rn.
See if music works better
Read: The Seven Love Languages. Read up online. Could be just what y’all need.
In that case we both agree on the way forward and you've already told your wife if a way that provides clarity and doesn't speculate on anything your SIL may have done that was inappropriate
Sounds like she is already cheating and wants to legitimize it so she doesn’t feel bad about herself by opening up the relationship. Or sh already had someone in mind that she wants to cheat with. Either way she is checked out. If you don’t do couples therapy divorce and find someone who appreciates you better
That sounds like a nice idea. Thanks. I think I'll try this.
You are disgusting. You don't have to associate with people whose values do not align with yours. What you can't do is abuse someone. What you did was abusive, and I hope he dumps you. It sounds like you were looking to fight about something. You are juvenile, and he shouldn't be with someone as immature as you. Hopefully he realizes that now.
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On top of that, did it sounds like this happens a lot. Which shows me that he is constantly being bombarded by what I assume you call “outgoing” when in reality it’s just a way to say you want to date around but call it friends until something better comes along
Perception is reality, and it’s perception that is haunting your boyfriend. You hanging out alone at the beach with a guy looks like a date. If someone that knows your bf sees you there your bf now potentially has to answer an awkward question or two about your relationship and the damage is done, even though you “know” it wasn’t a date. Making new friends that could potentially be romantically interested in you during a relationship is dicey, there’s a whole rabbit hole of how’s and why’s
Aldo keep in mind the office at home is used by you 90% of the time. Many of my friend where one partner uses the home office daily pay a higher % of rent. Meanwhile you both are splitting rent. I think letting her take the gas out is fair as you aren’t paying extra for use of the office daily.
Get the rest of your stuff out now so she isn't holding it over your head. You owe her nothing and you owe her no explanation as to why you broke up with her. Get your stuff and never look back.
Some boobs are easy to hide with a binder or baggy top.
Lacks key info
Her mom either hints you two to get married, using the “single” word as a passive agressive poke
The opposite may be a secret hate boner
Once stating your own boundary, are you not expected for it to be honored?
You can hope it will, but you can only control yourself. You can't control others.
Then it sounds like they should use both to be completely safe…
What is your sister expecting? It sounds like she expects to remain a child who is being assisted by the adults around her. If you want to be her mother, move home and help her with her kid for the rest of the child's life.
Otherwise, your shifting the financial obligation on to your husband and self for an indeterminable amount of time. He may not have wanted to adopt an adult.
You just tell him! You're not crazy insecure, you're asking for a very basic behavior most of us want/need from a relationship.
ESPECIALLY if he's not asking for an open relationship. So he simply wants to fuck other people? WTH….no. You are NOT being unreasonable!
Is this how low our bar is now? We think we're nuts if we don't want our SO sleeping around?
You're both young, and you've been together since you were very young. The main issue I have with your wife's behavior is sleeping with her exes “before you were official”. I mean, I'm sure she had a sense that you two were heading that way, right? Anything that's “OK on a technicality” just feels wrong to me.
But all of this is very immature. It's unfortunate that there's a child in the mix to complicate things, because your relationship doesn't sound like it's a long-term consideration for her.
One last thing – we can't be (and shouldn't aspire to be) “thought police”. Everyone is probably different in this regard, but thinking about someone else during sex isn't unusual and it shouldn't be seen as a horrible sin. I'm saying that in the hope that this isn't the case every time you two have sex. Being present with your partner is a big part of the intimate, emotional connection you can experience – and hopefully do experience.
Also – don't ask questions unless you're prepared for the answer. At least she was honest with you, I guess?
If you're still in love with her just admit it.
I would express how I’m feeling about going to this event. It’s important for me to have good and open communication with my partner. I would expect my partner to reassure me that he and I are solid. Should we come across this person we would respectful and move along as nothing happened.
Now, if he blows of my concerns, gives no reassurance, or whatever I would be looking for a way out. I’m not taking that shit.
They weren’t even in a relationship at that point they were still in a “talking stage”
Wait wtf why would you string him along like this when you’re not even attracted to him?
She thinks anyone who continuously disagrees with her is mad…watch out, next she'll project shit about sex…
You felt disrespected because she was… dancing, having eye contact with someone and singing?
That’s wild dude.
He should have said his good bye and moved on before he started seeing you
Block her and move on!! No need to get back with toxic people!
That’s called gaslighting.
Just break up and save each other the heartache. Anything else won’t work.
My grandmother loved to educate her daughters. She hated the fact that you were almost property if you had no money. She said that you need to love but know when love is not enough. She made sure that we all started investing at a young age. This helped me to leave my ex. The only one I had a child with. It was difficult to leave but when my child noticed the fights I knew it was time. His name was on the lease. In my country only the person on the lease is viable for the bills. I packed, got a new place with my daughter who proceeded to tell me a few weeks later that life was so much easier without her father in the house. The ex didn't know about my investments because we were not married or engaged. I got my house and furnished it before I left. He just came back from work and found me gone. I told him to reflect on the many times I told him that I would just give up and leave with no fuss. He hasn't seen me for 4 years. We use a parenting app
Umm no. You are not a psychiatrist. It was not on you at all on you if she decided to take her life. You run. You run away and never look back at this swampy toxic of a relationship and thank your lucky stars that you got out alive. Anytime someone tell you that YOU made them do terrible things, I would calls BS on that. Let her stew in her misery. Your life matters too. Run, and don't wait for the “perfect” time. There is no perfect time. Just break up with her and don't think twice.
That's why they need to have the conversation
You can still be open. “I hate my job and am going to look around” is open, lol.
I think that link will be helpful. Good luck.
It's not about talking about marriage, that part ia important – it's the expectation she has set that he is going to propose bc she is ready and set him a ring. But there's a difference between one conversation to talk about the future, and constantly nagging when he has said what he feels (as is happening now).
Also, I saod further below – I think it's fine to ask about a time line, bur just because he says he might be ready in 5 years doesn't mean in 5 years he WILL be. Things change and it's just her choice how far/long to wait or break up. A time line gives her an idea but still isn't any more… Definite.
sometimes in life youll see someone and think to yourself “man, theyre dumb as shit”
thats how, i want to say 77% of posters in this thread, see you rn lol. please wise up
No, I don't think it was guilt because she kept the messages and remained in touch with him. That really doesn't sound “3 years of guilt every day”
I thin she got incredibly worried/paranoid/terrified at that moment you asked specifically about this guy and maybe felt you were going to look into things more and that made her confess.
No, I don't think it was guilt because she kept the messages and remained in touch with him. That really doesn't sound “3 years of guilt every day”
I thin she got incredibly worried/paranoid/terrified at that moment you asked specifically about this guy and maybe felt you were going to look into things more and that made her confess.
If she wasn't on board, then we don't have kids, or she can leave me. But she also can't refuse because it's not something I'm asking for permission to do, nor do I need permission. She knows it will happen if we have kids, and she's OK with it. It's not something I would do behind her back if that's what you're getting at. We also had this discussion before we got married.
Look I have a uterus, but I believe men do deserve to know 100% that any child is theirs. It should be standard to administer paternity tests before baby is sent home. The person who births a child will always have complete certainty the child is biologically theirs, I think it’s only fair for men to have the same right.
That's likely a sign that he wasn't committed, and that doesn't have anything to do with you, just how relationships can go. He did the respectful thing at this point to bow out as he knew he would likely hurt you.
Feeling your sadness, and I know you'll get through it and meet someone you can mesh with on every level.
Burn the bridge, nuke from orbit She is dead to you, you can't talk with dead people
Don't talk to him when he calls. Get a new phone number. Log all calls from your old phone that came from him. Get all medical records from injuries you received from the abuse. Take phone log and medical records to law enforcement to see if you can file a restraining order. If he starts to show up at your home or work, dial the domestic violence hotline (if outside US, try global network of women's shelters)
He's trying to manipulate you right now, testing to see if either fear or remorse are his way back into controlling you. Give him nothing.
I’ll give an update now!
But it's for business, so it totally doesn't count! /s
Divorce her DUHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Do you… even like this woman? You don’t sound like you do. Save everyone in this situation the hardship of this ridiculousness and free that poor woman from your grip. Date your friend or something. Date someone because you want to date them not because it’s convenient to keep going back to them. Free her.
No My didn't go to a private school his whole life. His first few years he went to a public school in another district with his brothers while his dad worked his way up. Idk when they made the switch but it was sometime after his dad got a finical footing Also the few times I've meet him I've noticed he's kinda old. Like I haven't met him that many times and never asked his age but he looks like he had his kids in his early 30s or something so he wasn't at the bottom bottom But at this point who knows
I'm a fan of giving it back or chucking it as well (because honestly there's just nothing she could say that would be worth reading). But a third option can be having someone else you know and trust read it, and tell you what's in it. Like a human filter.
I wouldn't suggest holding onto it for a few years. That's just making it a weight around your neck.