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1. It was hard for me to give support when I felt like a ball and chain. And the little I did give I felt was dismissed, either because I was the husband, so of course I was her fan (like my view of her abilities, accomplishments, and strengths were biased and not worth considering), or other times it was like I was saying the wrong things. I know in retrospect I was, because I talked to people that understand her position on certain things, but it sucks that this understanding and communication didn’t come from her.

   Anyhow, I was always the more communicative and expressive in our relationship. And I pulled away, so she lost that. I fucked up.

   Now that I resolved that for myself, a process that took me a year, and I wanted to work on the marriage.

   There’s only so much time in a day you know? Kids, work, personal development, chores, social life. I lost balance and priority. It became a bad routine. For both of us. Too many people here assume that I was not pulling my weight at all. If you think I wasn’t doing enough, you don’t know if she needed a level of 8, and I was at 6 or at a 2. Truth is I don’t know what she needed. We really didn’t talk and it takes two.

   Anyway, this whole thread is turning into a hate fest. I fucked up in some ways. In some ways so did she. It takes two to keep a relationship healthy. All I can do and want to do now is do the maximum I can do. Today. And for as long as it takes until it’s definite that she’ll join me and work on the marriage or demand a divorce.

   If you have insight to help me improve my relationship, share it. Otherwise go to the gym to find a punching bag. I can beat myself up on my own.

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