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Date: October 18, 2022
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It means you want the best for the child which would be that in this scenario. Its her decision but she is making the wrong one.
I'm sorry but you're going have to bite the bullet and accept that the relationship is most likely coming to an end. She's telling you that she's isn't willing to work on saving the relationship and wants to move on. It's for the best and you're going have to respect her wishes.
You've been through extremely complex and severe emotional trauma, with both your husband and your parents betraying you, and your husband going so far as to have sex with other people and kick you out of your home, both during the time you're pregnant with his child, and now your husband is trying to get you to forgive him for all that, also while you're still pregnant. You absolutely should have a solo therapist. Even if you've never previously experienced the slightest trauma ever in your life, that's more than enough trauma right there to merit getting a therapist for a while.
The solo therapist can help you decide whether or not couples therapy is even a good idea. It's not a foregone conclusion whether you forgiving your husband is a healthy goal or not. A solo therapist will be better able to help you sort that out than a couples therapist.
Your husband also needs a solo therapist, for different reasons. Him disbelieving you caused all of this, and he's going to need help grappling with both the reasons why he disbelieved you and also the effects that his disbelieving you have had upon your feelings about him. If you're ever able to trust him again, he'll need a therapist to help him understand how to start earning back your trust; conversely, if you're never able to trust him again, he'll need a therapist to help him understand why that is and how to avoid wrecking other relationships in his life with similarly untrustworthy behavior.
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Have one. Very helpful, not tge best for literal advice though.
My “it's fake” alarm bells are ringing.
No one cares. You literally sound like a robot.
This really got to me. Thank you
It’s important for people to maintain balance with their romantic relationship and their hobbies, interests, and friends.
I don’t understand why she needs to miss her practice to spend time with you. That’s what? A few hours tops on one day? Will you literally only be back one day then gone for another few weeks or something?
Don’t you have something else you could do for those few hours? Like your laundry or cleaning up your place? Going to the grocery? Taking a nap?
I dunno. Being gone two weeks isn’t like a big homecoming after a long deployment or something to me. I used to travel half of every month for work and I guess I don’t expect everyone to change up their routines on my account. Part of the reason people can be good about being partnered with someone who is gone a lot is because they have their own full life.
Record her when she admits to you that she included the footage against your will and without your consent – then get a lawyer and press charges. You may not be able to remove all copies of the video, but you can make her pay you enough in emotional damages to at least make damn sure she'll never do it again – and, as a bonus, damage her reputation in the industry, unless she agrees to settle quietly.
Its super creepy of you BOTH to be in this weird fake 'purity' relationship the first time he “assumed” you were a virgin and you said nothing you lied. Not very Chritiasn lol.
He is gonna be super mad when you tell him because you lied AND because presumably he's been so patient about waiting for sex with you because you are “inexperienced” `and he didn't want to pressure you.
You are not a different person you just changed your sexual behavior. You should have been upfront about the reason you did not want sex ( whatever that reason is) rather than prenting to be a virgin , which is what you are doing by going along with his nonsence.
You are BOTH delusional hypocrites who are probably well matched ,but won't stay together because once the cat is out of the bag. Your joint sexist opinion that female 'purity' is important will destroy your joint fantasy.
I'd have to ask him, but not to my knowledge.
He admitted that she was texting him a bunch starting almost immediately after we broke up, pretty much every day for a month straight. He said now that he's been called out he noticed she started snapping him way more often after we broke up. She way clearly flirting with him. Eventually she asked him to come over and after a bit she admitted that she liked him but he didn't want to date her or something? I'm not sure the semantics. But after that, well.. they started sleeping together a few times.
Apparently now after they've been caught he's blocked her on pretty much everything and has said sorry… But besides that he hasn't really made any effort to make amends.
In addition to what everyone else is saying, I have to point out that the statements he’s making are not truthful, realistic observations. It is not objectively true that most women have perkier breasts, or that you are not slim. Those are not facts. Those are negative comparisons, and there is only one reason he would say them to you unprompted. He wants to cut you down. He is negging you in order to lower your self esteem on purpose. Whatever his motivation, this is not a kind, helpful, or loving thing to do to a stranger, much less someone you purport to care about.
You got me wrong, my mistake. I was saying that he has to impose some boundaries in the friendship relationship with her, not in the relationship between the two of you.