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sgemma chat
Date: October 8, 2022
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Ok, everyone going straight off with the cheating route is being a bit ignorant. Cheating may have happened, but believe it or not. STDs are not always transmitted sexually and even if he got it through someone else, it could’ve been before getting with you.
As far as I know, all the infections you mentioned can happen spontaneously, after washing your intimate parts unproperly, sharing a towel or if you’ve been in a poorly sanitised restroom or change room ok? So don’t panic…
I got Herpes Simplex from a past partner, and I immediately freaked out cause I always use condoms… turns out they are not always effective at preventing it, because it spreads through skin contact (I got it on my groin); 1 out of 6 people have Herpes and it’s often not curable, good thing is that its difficult to transmit and even if you get it, it’s difficult that you might get sores ever again. Herpes though, can lower your body barriers and cause other types of infections, such as the ones you mention…
Either way, the only solution, before pointing fingers is to have healthy communication with your partner and ask him, based on the fact that you got an STD, that you suspect he could’ve cheated on you.
If he blames you, then he’s not the person for you, leave him.
If he says no, then it’s up to you to trust him, maybe if he’s got nothing to hide, he might even show you his phone? Don’t ask for it yourself, that’s very bad…
Trust is key in relationships, if you don’t have any, it’s just better to leave
Girl the more I read your comments, the more red flags I’m seeing. Don’t move this man into your home. Don’t get rid of a pet you love for a man who treats you like you’re stupid. Absolutely don’t keep this man in your life when he thinks you making your own life choices are “disrespectful” to him. You’re gearing yourself up to be abused in person if he moves in. Just don’t do it. You deserve better. And don’t let an asshole decide how smart you are. You know you’re smart enough to have your shit together. Find a partner who actually respects you because this clown does not.
It’s weird to compare thinking about the life you’re going to bring into the world with compassion with eugenics.
I have the worst case of genetic angioma in my family. I had 6 now 5 growths on my brain. I’m only alive because I live in a time with skilled enough surgeons that can remove the growth that was bleeding and grew to the size of a golf ball and because I got lucky that the one that was removed wasn’t in a life threatening/altering part of the brain, like the one behind my eyes.
I am never, ever having biological children. I am not going to put a child through the pain I went through or worse.
I think he was stupid to say it, but I’ve known multiple people that have said that about their best friend meaning it in a platonic way, and yes in guy/girl friendships as well. I really highly doubt someone would say that to the person they are dating about someone else in a non-platonic way. It would be saying “I’d date her if I could.” Which if true, he wouldn’t say it to her face and try to stay together. He already got rid of one friend for her, he wouldn’t do that if he was with her because he couldn’t be with someone else. I’d have taken it as him talking fast and trying to explain that they’re really close friends seeing as she’s doing everything to avoid spending anytime with said friend then blaming it all on the friend not trying to be closer to her and his dumb word choice. Typically friends saying that about each other means “I feel comfortable talking with them about things, we have a lot in common, and just really resonate.” Which isn’t a bad thing with friendship.
Attorneys will tell you DO NOT leave your house. Talk to an attorney first before you say anything to her they will tell you exactly what you need to do. Most of them give a free first consultation. I would also separate finances if you have a joint account. Do not let her know anything about this and the attorney will explain why. Good luck
He was married, the way he describes it is what I wish my own marriage had been – we’re so much more compatible than either of us were with our exes. But. You’re right – he has made it clear that that’s not what he wants now, and I guess maybe never. Thank you. Sometimes it’s hard to see what’s right in front of you.
Way too much drama for a four month old relationship
This is complex. Do some reading (John Gottman's books are great) or see a marriage and family counselor. Do you offer advice on how to fix what is bothering her? That is a major problem for a lot of women. They just want to vent, and don't want their partner to jump in and offer suggestions on how to solve a problem.
In addition to that, he's a 44 year old guy throwing a toddler temper tantrum over some other dude being rude to his gf and instead of being angry with the rude guy he gets mad at his gf.
I'd be put off from that real fast too.