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Blake & Dallas, 25 y.o.
Location: United States
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Online Live Sex Chat rooms Blake & Dallas
Date: January 2, 2023
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What was the nature of the relationship with this “old fling?”
Either way, we need to put things into perspective. Before we do, the truth is that he might very well be an absolute piece of shit, a horrible partner, and everything you fear; we simply don’t know that.
What we do know is you, so that’s what I’m going to focus on. You’re four months in and you’re here worried about literally everything. In short, you don’t trust him. Whether you’re right or wrong doesn’t matter; no healthy relationship works without trust.
Finally, you’re again this early in and already snooping through his personal shit. Is that really how you want to live? There’s no good ending. You snooping means you already don’t trust him. BEST case scenario is that you’re right, which means he’s a scumbag and it’s over. The other scenario is that he’s a good person but your insecurities push him away.
It's definitely not abnormal to still be hurt by something like this long-term. I've mentioned this millions of times in this sub, but being cheated on can traumatize people. She may have been traumatized by it, and she honestly might need to seek therapy to try to help her.
Neither of you are the problem here. You are two different people who feel two different kinds of ways. I wouldn't say it's a problem at all that she gets hurt when she remembers that she was cheated on. That doesn't mean she has feelings for her ex. That means that she was hurt by a betrayal that happened to her. I've been deeply hurt by others in the past, and while it doesn't cloud my daily thought, sometimes it'll pop up in my memory, and I will become sad about it again.
I know people who have been cheated on in past relationships but are now in loving relationships. Occasionally, they still remember the pain of being cheated on, and some are so paranoid about it happening again because it hurt them so badly. Painful things in the past commonly still hurt people in the future.
Now, again, if it's something that is overcoming her daily, then she likely needs to really seek therapy to help her cope with the trauma
It's definitely not abnormal to still be hurt by something like this long-term. I've mentioned this millions of times in this sub, but being cheated on can traumatize people. She may have been traumatized by it, and she honestly might need to seek therapy to try to help her.
Neither of you are the problem here. You are two different people who feel two different kinds of ways. I wouldn't say it's a problem at all that she gets hurt when she remembers that she was cheated on. That doesn't mean she has feelings for her ex. That means that she was hurt by a betrayal that happened to her. I've been deeply hurt by others in the past, and while it doesn't cloud my daily thought, sometimes it'll pop up in my memory, and I will become sad about it again.
I know people who have been cheated on in past relationships but are now in loving relationships. Occasionally, they still remember the pain of being cheated on, and some are so paranoid about it happening again because it hurt them so badly. Painful things in the past commonly still hurt people in the future.
Now, again, if it's something that is overcoming her daily, then she likely needs to really seek therapy to help her cope with the trauma
He can test the baby anytime he wants, after it's born, with or without your permission.
Or you could just dump him and move on. Just a thought.
They’re just working on their starter marriages, it’s ok to skip this stage.
I met my husband when we were both 32. A lot of friends and relatives had already been married and divorced by then.
100% sue this person for defamation
Block him and move on. Don't fuel his childish games.
This isn't a boundary, this isn't about trust. She deserved the opportunity to choose whether or not this is what she signed up for. You don't FORCE someone to be a part of YOUR family issues because you won't communicate them clearly.
If he doesn't wanna talk about them, or see them, then a simple “These are not my family members and I won't see them” etc. Settles that. Not being avoidant. It's inevitable.
She wouldn't know what's what because he did not tell her. This is why y'all are the ones that are entitled. Whatever landmines you have in your life need to be open for everyone to see. So they can opt out. You don't pull people in because you can't confront something on your own.
Uhm, unless your gf is bi, you shouldn't even worry about it. I have plenty of bi and lesbian friends who have been in the same bed as me for whatever reason, and none of them have ever made a pass at me even if they were interested because I'm not interested in other women. I'm sure her friend is the same way.
That wasn’t nice of him. The first thought you had was coke though? That’s extreme.
Check out the book Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski. The whole book is a great read, but the very beginning addresses this exact subject. Your body is normal. Your boyfriend is a jerk. What he said to you when he saw you were upset is not an apology. Don't let him get away with treating you like this.
Unfortunately, this “friend” was probably never really that great of a person to start with. Some people have the ability to pull the wool over your eyes, but eventually their true nature comes out.
And as much as it sucks right now, I would learn what you can from this experience and just move on. Block their number so they can't try and manipulate you in the future.
Next time he brings it up, just ask if he's a virgin (yes! I know you know the answer, but ask him). When he responds by saying no, just reply something like “Well, I'm not either.”
The reason I say to out yourself like that is that it discourages a strong negative reaction towards da you losing your virginity. How he responds to you hiding it this long is a completely different matter that is entirely out of my hands.
What is to enforce the two weeks every other month?
Neither have been hurt yet because neither know, and for now I plan on keeping it that way before I decide on what's best to do. I plan on going on a Date with Daniel to see what he's like as a boyfriend
You break up with old BF.
It won’t really matter what you do. When Daniel finds out you have no honour or loyalty. He will be rethinking you or you will be jumping ship to the next guy.
What do you want to do?
Although XY said she hopes you can get back together, it would just be painful for her, and you would fins yourselves in even worse situation. I don't think you should go back and possibly hurt her even more, if you care about her.
You know there isn't any good future with Z, so you know what you would be getting yourself into.
Maybe staying away from both, being single and working on yourself and doing some reflecting would be the best thing to do at the moment
Interesting. So either she is lying, has been pregnant longer than she says, or it’s a false positive. Seems interesting now.