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Bar shenanigans. Pretip 399 pvt
Date: March 20, 2023
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Bar shenanigans. Pretip 399 pvt
“I personally feel that my views on LGBTQ has not impacted my views or actions with my wife or child.”
This is incorrect and you know it. Your wife is TELLING YOU that it is. You refute her accusations of homophobia/biphobia by saying you only view her as your wife and the mother of your children. But if you do not affirm her sexuality, you straight-up are not accepting of a part of who she is. By what you're hinting, I take it you view her identity as a sin. Bisexuality is not just some kind of “flaw” you can so chivalrously overlook, it is an identity, a community, and a cultural experience. Most importantly it is a fundamental part of who your wife is.
“If the LGBTQ stance was the core problem, then I've been lied to for our whole marriage.”
You have not been lied to because she is telling you that it's an issue! It's also very common for people to grow in confidence about their sexuality over time and frankly, I've known SO MANY bi girls to get in relationships with non-affirming straight men when they have not yet found their footing as an LGBT+ person, but take issue with it as they grow in confidence and pride in their community.
You do not fully accept and affirm who she is, and you go to a church that probably thinks she is going to Hell and is probably fighting to take away her rights as an LGBT+ person in your region. I personally think churches like yours are even worse, because they'll be “nice” about it while they talk shit behind your back and actively push agendas to make your life worse. And then expect a cookie for not, what, beating you in the street lmao???
We are living in a scary time for LGBT+ people and you do actually have to pick a side IMO. Is that side gonna be your wife's?
You are about to get baby trapped. You are not financially compatible.
Jesus fucking Christ, your wife is a Saint. Did she grow up in an abusive household or something? Only people who don't truly believe they are worth something would put up with any of you, your groom or Sarah's bullshit. I hope she sees you for the coward you are.
Omfg there's kids in this drama too!!??!?
Other than this we DO have a great relationship. We go out, we stay in, go on trips with his family, go to church together, and even volunteer together. He tells me he loves me every day and has always been good to me, he even defended me against his family when they were disapproving of my tattoo. He IS great but I’m worried this might be a dealbreaker for him.
Maybe he went through something, positive or (more likely) negative and either really does or really doesn't want his children to experience it.
Maybe he was highly pressured by parents and ended up with some trauma from that and wants to make sure the kids don't go through and that he can ensure that they can learn at their own pace and that “love must be earned by good grades” isn't a lesson taught at home.
Maybe he wants to send them to CIA training school. Where they'll be trained in Algebra and Undercover Investigations where they'll pose as a fans of a garage band that's really a front for a drug ring run by a cartel of children.
Maybe he's a secret extremist and wants to indoctrinate the children into a cult.
Maybe he wants the kids to be performers, so he wants to be able to home school the kids as they go on tour playing improv accordion funk jazz across the country to packed stadiums of screaming fans.
Maybe he wants to send one to public school and one to private school, or hold one back a year and compare how they turn out for the next 18 years for his community college masters thesis.
Maybe he wants them to learn is his native language, or Esperanto.
Maybe he wants too have them as children, ship them off to boarding school as teens until the graduate college because he doesn't want to deal with what he was like was he was a teen and wants to make it someone else's problem.
Maybe he's an alien sent to infiltrate earth and needs to be able to teach them advanced technology, without the earthlings finding out, so that they'll be able to sabotage earth's defenses leaving us vulnerable to invasion.
Maybe he sees government schools as a tool of the devil and needs to ensure his kids don't go there and lose their immortal souls.
Maybe he's writing a book about two siblings and has the backstory about their education worked out, but can't seem to get a satisfying conclusion so he wants to recreate the education laid out in the book with his children. That way he can just watch them to see what happens so he can finish his novel.
Maybe he's going to refuse to help pay for college because it's a bad investment, especially when he can get 3:1 on Santa's Little Helper in the fourth race next Wednesday; it's a sure thing this time.
Maybe he wants to do the “year round” school thing, multiple smaller breaks rather than one long Summer break between years. Since taking all of summer off causes a decline in proficiency, and much time is spent getting students back up to speed, thus impeding progression.
The “something” truly is endless.
If you sent it to him after waxing like straight after im gonna say that's what he was referring too. The skin irritation. Now, that's an incredibly stupid thing to say. If you are looking at something inbetween a person's knees and belly button, it's my advice that you don't ever say anything negative at all because it's too close to home.
My more kind interpretation is that your boyfriend is just silly and goofy and needs to think a little harder and apologising is the right move.
If this was once the irritation was gone and there was nothing other than clean and healthy skin with the hair and whatever may or may not have been in the photo, then your boyfriend is actually kinda evil. That's not something you shouldn't say to people that's fucked up.
What to do now after you've forgiven him but you're left with this mental block. I recommend taking it slow. Would the idea of maybe him going all out for you and making a sensual night about you help? Think about what it is that can get you in the mood. Try taking it slow and be sexual woth clothes on and see if that warms you up to the idea of sharing yourself with him. Maybe trying over the clothes stuff, that could help as he can't see anything. Baby steps is key and I think finding safer ways to incorporate sexual intimacy that take time and respect boundaries is key to this.
If you sent it to him after waxing like straight after im gonna say that's what he was referring too. The skin irritation. Now, that's an incredibly stupid thing to say. If you are looking at something inbetween a person's knees and belly button, it's my advice that you don't ever say anything negative at all because it's too close to home.
My more kind interpretation is that your boyfriend is just silly and goofy and needs to think a little harder and apologising is the right move.
If this was once the irritation was gone and there was nothing other than clean and healthy skin with the hair and whatever may or may not have been in the photo, then your boyfriend is actually kinda evil. That's not something you shouldn't say to people that's fucked up.
What to do now after you've forgiven him but you're left with this mental block. I recommend taking it slow. Would the idea of maybe him going all out for you and making a sensual night about you help? Think about what it is that can get you in the mood. Try taking it slow and be sexual woth clothes on and see if that warms you up to the idea of sharing yourself with him. Maybe trying over the clothes stuff, that could help as he can't see anything. Baby steps is key and I think finding safer ways to incorporate sexual intimacy that take time and respect boundaries is key to this.
If you sent it to him after waxing like straight after im gonna say that's what he was referring too. The skin irritation. Now, that's an incredibly stupid thing to say. If you are looking at something inbetween a person's knees and belly button, it's my advice that you don't ever say anything negative at all because it's too close to home.
My more kind interpretation is that your boyfriend is just silly and goofy and needs to think a little harder and apologising is the right move.
If this was once the irritation was gone and there was nothing other than clean and healthy skin with the hair and whatever may or may not have been in the photo, then your boyfriend is actually kinda evil. That's not something you shouldn't say to people that's fucked up.
What to do now after you've forgiven him but you're left with this mental block. I recommend taking it slow. Would the idea of maybe him going all out for you and making a sensual night about you help? Think about what it is that can get you in the mood. Try taking it slow and be sexual woth clothes on and see if that warms you up to the idea of sharing yourself with him. Maybe trying over the clothes stuff, that could help as he can't see anything. Baby steps is key and I think finding safer ways to incorporate sexual intimacy that take time and respect boundaries is key to this.
He didn’t stop cheating. He’s still cheating, they just may not be talking this week.
If your gut isn’t proof enough, and the evidence isn’t proof enough, and he’s proven himself to be a liar and a gaslighter, why would you trust what he says over what you see?
Why would he take accountability for something he plans to continue doing?
You are choosing to stay, so he is choosing to keep you in the dark because apparently the only proof that will make you leave is possibly catching him balls deep inside of her, and even then he could tell you it’s not what it looks like, and you’ll continue to questions what you know you saw for years.
He is winning because you aren’t leaving, so he has no reason to be accountable.
I'm always astounded when people stay with others who show behaviour they do not seek in a partner.
She cheated, and also got SA'd after cheating
Suggest she undertakes a first aid course or at least some specialised training so she can learn what/what not to do. It's not rocket science & if she has a problem with doing it, ask her why. Probably a good idea not to be the 'body' in any training session though 🙂
This is the dude you don't have babies with.
I grew up in a violent household and wanted better for my children
You know what you need to do. Now all you need to do is act.
Or continue to perpetuate the cycle of violence.
It is up to you.
We just got married when I was visiting. Maybe I’m being paranoid but a simple a selfie is hard to produce? If you truly love someone?
This comment is fucking nuts
Sounds like you got love bombed by a narcissist. Never underestimate why a man has been married 4 times.
Yep definitely won't be the only time and only person he would want her to do this with. Fuck tht noise. Id tell my husband if he wanted to add another dude so badly he can go get railed himself and shouldn't bother me with his bullshit.
I would not put up with that. I would absolutely dump someone who was so unable to cope with the slightest irritation like a grownup.
I feel she should have had a conversation with him a head of time about how certain gifts make her feel, but I also get where she is come if from.
I get very uncomfortable when people spend lots money on me for things I otherwise may not want very much or at all. When it comes to gifts I usually share people on a large list and tell them an amount limit not to go over.
Tell him you can start faking it like every other woman he’s ever been with!
I think what your coworker said is solid advice. Just tell her you like her and you would like to get to know her better and see where things go from there. It doesn’t matter if you go out to get food/coffee or do some other activity. If you notice that your crush is getting bigger or you develop feelings for her tell her that. And if you notice you just want to be good friends then tell her that. Just have an open heart and an open mind to the possibilities and make sure you communicate your feelings with her. When I was your age I had a massive crush on one of my best friends but I was always scared I would ruin a great friendship if the feeling wasn‘t mutual. In the end we lost contact and stopped talking to each other because at some point I just got tired of always trying to figure out if she liked me the same way. So in the end not only did I „lose“ the friendship but was stuck wondering what if. The point of the story is get to know that girl and see where things go. You are 20 years old, just live life and have fun