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Date: January 8, 2023
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“Didn’t do anything manipulative”. Except the part where she said she wanted to date other guys just to gauge his reaction? He responded shitty initially, but what she did is clearly manipulative.
It hurts, but you've got to trust your gut honey. It would have been like a thorn in your foot, constantly digging away in the back of your mind. This was the best decision for you and you are stronger having made it.
Be kind to yourself. Your needs matter. Your feelings matter. Your boundaries matter.
I understand what you are saying. After being broken up for almost a year, they have not been together, aside from what I mentioned before. They have no kids between each other – he just has 2 kids from previous marriage. I hope that clarifies unless I misunderstood you.
In his state he probably was just thinking of sex. Now it goes two ways. You said no so he's moved on or, just maybe, he remembers and is excruciatingly embarrassed about the way it went down. To find out, walk up to him and ask and don't let him just walk away.
Honestly, I think you have to accept not getting an explanation that makes sense to you. The reason for the breakup is that your girlfriend doesn't want to be with you. That's all. The reasons may not seem like enough to end a relationship to you, but they do to get. It sucks, and it's painful, but that's all there is to it. Demanding more information isn't going to help anything. Maybe she met someone else or maybe she really just wants to be alone. Either way, she doesn't want a future with you.
The fact that he thought of a secondary qualifier like: “I wouldn't cheat with her because she's a single mom and I don't want that baggage,” just makes it shadier. The only acceptable answer is “I would never cheat on you for any reason.” Because, him saying he wouldn't cheat with her because she is a single mom, leaves it open to there are reasons he could and would cheat.
As a fellow introvert who have a real relationship till my late 20’s, I understand how hard it is to make connections of any kind. Friend and especially romantic connections. To have this type of betrayal with your first relationship, I am truly very sorry. I’m sorry that people around you are treating it as a small mistake for you to look past. I’m sorry she’s not taking your feelings into consideration by constantly contacting you. I’m so sorry, I’m glad you have friends that are with you helping you in small ways. I hope whatever you chose to do, it’s your decision, don’t let your family/friends/reddit decide what’s best. You know what’s best for you. Good luck!
Talk to a psychiatrist. In the worst case you might be able to have her committed to a psychiatric institution for test and observation for a few days.