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Date: September 25, 2022
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give him coal
Cheaters can be so digusting.
The fact that you had to be convinced is more problematic than you not finding extra partners, I think.
I’ve been where you are, went along with it because I loved them….but hooooo-boy, when I started getting attention, shit hit the fan. So, that’s one thing to look out for.
The biggest problem I’ve faced with poly is that almost no one knows how to do it right and most people seem to be under the impression that it’s just a way to have your cake and eat it too.
Focus more on how this arrangement is making you feel, rather than how successful you are in a situation you probably didn’t want to be in anyway.
There’s nothing wrong with being monogamous. There is everything wrong with being manipulated into situations you aren’t enthusiastic about.
I don’t know how strong your foundation is with your husband but if he wants kids and you both together can’t have any and he knows he’s got a child out there (DNA test is obvs needed in this situation) he may leave you. It sounds like there hasn’t been any real closure between your husband and his ex. Do you know how he really truly still feels about her, because it seems like you both met pretty soon after they broke up. I could be wrong but I’m not kid or someone in their 20s who thinks life and relationships is black and white. Relationships and emotions are nuanced and there’s many factors that we don’t know about and this is just your side of things. We don’t know his side or the exes. I just hope the child doesn’t suffer and if the ex thinks that just having your husband and his family involved will make things harder and even harm or traumatize the child then I can’t blame her for not telling him. Seems like the ex wanted nothing to do with him and was doing it on her own and not asking for any help from your husband and his family. Good luck OP.
Did she start messing with you or her ex while in another relationship, or did you just meet/know each other at that time?
If she’s attracted to you now she was attracted to you then also, being in a relationship doesn’t put blinders on you to other attractive people.
He says he calls her his wife bc they live together. I think this dude is a little looney
Go Google “regret vs remorse” and “regret vs remorse in infidelity”
Best there is. Best there was. Best there ever will be.
She wants be taken care of, it sounds like you may not have compatible values if you want someone to be more of an equal partner.
*know
Hey look now! As a 29yo woman I'm sure he thought this through! She's probably proper mature for her age!
She contributes her time and energy so that OP can spoil her. He should be grateful really! She's doing the lord's work here.
Of course she could split things like you know i do with my 32yo husband and contribute to the household while working and studying. Or just being genuinely thoughtful and have an actual partnership!
But why would she have to do that when she's dating an older man who has money! That's just silly!