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Room for online sex video chat ArielHunt
Model from:
Languages: en
Birth Date: 1996-08-10
Body Type: bodyTypeAverage
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
Hair color: hairColorBlack
Eyes color: eyeColorBlue
Subculture: subcultureStudent
Date: October 10, 2022
Yeah, there's lots going on here…
First, your Ex's have indeed f#cked you up. You've identified your combative instincts but missed one of the most common symptoms of toxic relationships. You're love blind, you struggle to recognise love and affection that isn't draped in layers of toxic BS.
Second, the way you've acted is really sh!tty. Break up or work through it together. Telling someone it's over, but 'you're the person I wanna marry some day' too is f#cked.
Third, you're compounding mistakes because everything you do seems to be knee-jerk or approached with shallow reasoning. Your response to consecutive toxic relationships was to target a better man – it should have been 'oh damn, I probably have some sh!t to work through and learn to love myself better'. Your response to discovering you do have that sh!t to work through was to throw yourself and your partner into limbo – you can't address issues by creating more issues.
Your options now as I see them are that you have another proper talk with your latest Ex in which you explain your issues, apologise for being rash and unfair, and then give him the option as to whether he's down to work through this together (and get back together) or take the out (the real out). Alternatively, you have to double down on the break up. Cut contact and do the work you said you were gonna do.
Break up now. Kids is not an issue you can “compromise” on. If you're both certain of what you want as far as family building/structure is concerned than one or both of you will be unhappy here – either you are unhappy you never have the children you want, or she is unhappy if you try to change her mind (and god forbid bring a child who isn't 100% wanted into this situation.)
A few things that stand out here to me…
1) you’re both very young. I think back to when I was both your ages, and I put up with a lot more than I thought because either I lacked the experience or the deep critical thinking to realize that I was, yes, in an abusive situations. one does not need to use their hands or fists to be abusive.
2) it sounds like your husband might have some anxiety or depression, maybe both? Usually Impulsive decisions where you go along with it to “keep the peace” (such as moving for a job that doesn’t pay much more money and uprooting your lives to keep one person happy) never works and doesn’t make anyone happy.
3) what would your husband tell us about forgetting to pay the bill? Would he tell us a vastly different story about how it’s your responsibility, you’ve forgotten before, refuse to set reminders? (I’m not saying this to attack you – but to threaten divorce or say he wants one over it is…over the top to say the least).
4) so I ask these questions because when I was your age, I was in a relationship like yours where I walked on eggshells. The second my ex was unhappy, I did everything I could do to make it better. I realized after a while that he was just a miserable human being who refused to get help for his mental health, and just expected everyone (including his own family) to cater to his every need. Including things like moving because he got in an argument with our landlord and he had too much pride to stay in a perfectly fine apartment (all because he refused to set boundaries with them).
I say use some time apart to think about this in the context of your entire relationship, how many times you’ve had to change your ways or go along with something you didn’t feel comfortable with because “well, it’s what he wants, and if he’s happy then I’ll have less trouble.”
Because honey I can tell you: that’s abuse. It may not leave a mark. But 15 years later, I still have PTSD from this relationship that I’m working on. Please take care of you.
Of course! Hope you get some answers, I know stuff like that can drive a person crazy and make them question themselves.
yup! time to know somethin!
I didn't say OP is an asshole, I said her statement and word choice made her sound like one.
I have and he just gives me the same bs oh I’ll change and it’ll go back to same stuff within two weeks. And everytime I confront him of anything he acts like I’m out to get kate and to me in my head it’s like are my feelings not valid/ not as important as hers
I have. All four of them. Frequently she says “you never” and “you always” when insulting, and me and her have talked about her fear of abandonment, and jealously towards my friends caused me to get isolated..
The truck driver has gone through his insurance already but unfortunately due to having no collision coverage on my car, insurance will not cover any vehicle damage costs for my car
I like that you're obviously a kind, generous and compassionate person who likes to help. I don't like that you are potentially putting yourself at risk of being hurt or being accused of it…. Maybe you could moonlight as an Uber driver if you can spare an hour or 2? Just to keep things super legit
I guess that means women at 18 no longer want to be considered adults, capable of making grown up decisions. God help the future this world when all people want to do is shout victim all the time.
Even if you do make a mistake, it's called life.
Lmfaoooo what. Social work requires multiple degrees and licenses and Instacart is…
Even if he's depressed, it doesn't excuse his cruelty. You're going through so much right now and he's not even showing the bare minimum of kindness to support you. I am telling you bluntly that you deserve so much better than this dude. Yes, I know you love him and you're blaming yourself for it but his cruelty is not your fault.
When things get rough do you want someone who gets pissed and makes things worse or someone who supports you and tries to make things go smoother? This mistake was easily fixed with a phone call and he acted like you somehow costed him millions. It’s not his money and none of his business. Dump this idiot.
Yep this is something she needs to take up with a therapist. At the end of the day she was born a man and will never stop carrying the XY sex chromosomes. She'll never experience certain things only those who were born with XX chromosomes and have had to go through life as biological women and fully functioning parts. There's no period, no eventual menopause, no breastfeeding, and no possibility of a pregnancy and that's something she needs to come to terms with. Preferably with the help of a therapist and not using their son as a prop to her fantasy. His needs come first.
I have one question. How can someone that KNOWINGLY MARRIED A TRANS-PERSON BE TRANSPHOBIC?!?!?!?!?!?!?! This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever….fucking….heard….
Honestly, this doesn't sound much like a friendship. If anything you have unwittingly been made an enabler. She makes bad, self destructive choices and you pick up the pieces. I am not taking a swipe at you, she is just exploiting the fact you are a caring fellow, though I get the impression she doesn't even realise it. After all, she clearly wants the care of men but so far the only time she gets it is when you are consoling her.
She needs to acknowledge the reality: this is self destructive. It isn't just a bad choice, it is a choice with no other outcome than being hurt and even if she says otherwise she is choosing to do it over and over. If every time I get drunk I punch someone at some point choosing to get drunk means I am choosing to punch someone even if that action, mechanically, may be outside my conscious control at the time. She is choosing to be hurt and rescued and she needs to work out why before things really get bad.
Problem is while what you do is positive it also sort of delays her having to face it. You are too good to her for her own good, so effective at being helpful she doesn't really see the downside to this whole mess.
For what it is worth hypersexuality is a common way a lot of people deal with trauma and insecurity. To me the idea there is something deeper at play is likely.
What happened?
You stay focused on studying and making your own life. Time for you to move on from anyone who would treat you so poorly. You’re truly better off without him.
Age is not just a number, especially since you're still in your formative adult years and he's close to middle age. Massive growth still happens from 18-25. You need to grow up and go to therapy. Cheating out of spite? No good partner would ever do that, and quite frankly, is a ridiculous excuse.
Sit him down and tell him. What he does after that is not up to you, nor do you have the right to say what happens with the relationship. You gave that up the second you decided to cheat on him.
I will say the same as last post just see it as a metaphor: “Why are you with this person. Have some respect for yourself. She chose the shampoo over you. You are a clown for staying with someone like that. I try to be cruel because you obviously have a problem with self worth and self respect and if you dont start to understand it people will keep treating you like shit.”
Or they might have just settled for me, they couldn’t get the guys they truly want, and I was just stable enough that they compromised to be with me. I was never anyone’s first choice. I don’t believe in red pill crap. Not in any kind of pill for that matter. But what I have noticed from my past 3 relationships is that they focused on looks primarily, especially on ovulation day. That’s why this is bumming me out. This confirms that I’m not attractive in their eyes, just a place-holder bf until Someone better looking comes along. It’s not about personality, really. And the articles specifically mention physical attractiveness also, so I don’t know why you’re all focusing on personality traits as if they make any difference.
Again why is everyone making this strictly about my kid?? He's in preschool learning the alphabet and how to spell. And no idk what you mean by background check? He's just a white guy with black hair and brown eyes and has been in the city I'm from all his life
Possibly yeah that hasn't crossed my mind, I will ask her when she's back from work
I hate emergency vehicles and cover my ears every time they go by. I feel loud sounds rumble in my chest. I wear earplugs and sunglasses at concerts bc I also HATE bright lights.
I keep my prescription sunglasses on when I go to the store bc it just helps me feel more grounded.
Don’t get me started on tags and touch defensiveness!
SPD and ADHD can definitely have some crossover haha
I guess I’m wondering, why are you dating him? Do you like it?