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welcome to my room, my room is full of fun, i hope you can feel good and comfy. [Goal Race]
Date: October 12, 2022
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WeekendPussy
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Don't blame yourself for what he did. He did what he did, knowing full well it would ruin his relationship with you and your mom. It has nothing to do with you ever finding out or that he didn't hide it well enough.
I have friends who have found one their parents (one or the other) cheated on each other and let me tell you this much: something bad and rotten will never stay hidden for long. One day, one way or other, your mom will find out and for the safety of everyone in the family, she has to know.
I'm not shaming people who do escort services but they are in a rotten line of work, in contact with various distrustful people so you have no idea what they're entangled with. Your dad can never be too careful and even if he was, he can never escape getting STDs or spreading it over your mom. Your mom sure as hell doesn't deserve getting it, especially considering your dad got it from his “escapades”.
Telling your dad you know about his escapades isn't enough. You need to tell your mom. You can confirm her suspicion (if she doesn't have it already considering your dad is on a “solo vacation” away) and you both need to have a clear mind and pathway out of this mess. Maybe it's rectifiable, maybe it's the end of the road.
But this is something a family should do and decide together, openly and honestly. Communicating what you know to your mom so she make the right decision for all of you, by discussing with all of you and sitting your dad down is the best way to do it. Don't be afraid to demand evidence of your dad's fidelity (or lack thereof). Even if he denies it, I'm sure there is a trail of it elsewhere.
Just really, think about it. Your dad already ruined your relationship by betraying your mom and the trust she placed on him being true to her (because if she gets STDs from him, he might just victim blame her and you'll keep his secret for nothing but bitterness). Even if he doesn't get anything bad from his escapades, the truth will out and if you keep it to yourself too long, it will eat you up.
Better to be truthful and be brave than regret it for the rest of your life.
Um, so you have a good sex life and he isn't doing what your ex does but watches porn on his phone sometimes?? I don't see a problem. Sounds like you are pregnant, you don't feel good, and you are upset he watches porn? He isn't a porn addict? He isn't watching porn and body shaming you? He isn't watching porn and not having sex with you? I don't see the problem.
To me, what strikes me as a problem is her reaction. No attempt to reconcile or compromise. Just straight “Lol I don't give a fuck”. At the core it seems like there is a conflict of values. You expect more self-sacrifice in a relationship, while she expects more independence.
This is so dramatic.
There is no cheat code here, yu just have to accept some people do cheat some don't and you can't tell by the looks.
In your future relationship you should be honest about your insecurities regarding cheating. You will also need to keep them in check, because being overly controlling can destroy relationship by itself.
Looking at your post history I see there has been writing on the wall a few months ago already. I suppose next time you see such signals of losing interest you should first press the matter and should it fail already start to disengage yourself from relationship.
What can also help is taking things slow. Try to keep your expectations reserved until you see your partner wants to commit to you. Likewise before you decide to ever engage/marry your future partner it should only be after sufficiently long time and at least a year of living together.
I think its time you make new friends. If you want to try and reconcile you can, but its easier to start over again and again until you find the person who won't turn their back on you, even if you go MIA (friends like that do exist). Your other group saying they'd rather do the project with someone else is the same as saying they don't really care to do it with you. Whichever group you join, try your best to forget the broken promises and enjoy it as much as you can. You might even be able to make new friends from your group, that's what I did when I was put in a similar situation. There's always a chance that there's just a misunderstanding, if so you can always pull them aside one at a time and ask for them to be honest to you about this. I wouldn't ask them in a group, people are more likely to express their true feelings when not influenced by others opinions. Good luck op
Why are you trying to consider other possibilities? Base your relationship on what's right in front of you.
That's a solid friend. Thank you.
Your husband hasn't even acknowledged that “Tom” is the one who has cheated, lied, broken marriage vows and basically ruined your friend, his wife's life. What your husband really should have issues with is Tom. What your husband really should be vocalising to you is how much of REAL wife your friend is being to her horrible rat of a husband. How much she has, so far been adhering to the rules of monogamy and how she has respected the vows of marriage. He should be saying to you how much he admires this woman's effort to help a person who has done nothing but “shit” on her from a great height and then continue to do so even after all she has done to help him. Your husband should be saying how much of a terrible man Tom IS!.
I'd turn this around and say that this behaviour from your husband is a deal breaker for YOU! And we haven't even touched upon the issues this brings us with yours and his relationship.
Best of luck.
Maybe and I’m open to new ideas about that and everything else. Unlike most of this comments section unfortunately
> My landlord also divulged my boyfriend's yelling and stuff were factors in why he evicted me because I had been fine for years beforehand
Take him wanting to stop dating as a sign. Make it permanent.
Ok good….maybe you can help her make some money and better herself. You say you are a street vendor. Maybe she can work with you and help you sell more stuff.