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Sexy dance to get naked [Multi Goal]
Date: October 10, 2022
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“She's amazing to me, she just calls me stupid and has rage outbursts.”
Dude, she's a bad person. Six months into the relationship and she's calling you stupid and raging out? Sounds like she just lied to you and played nice until she felt comfortable.
It's bad enough forgiving him for one betrayal… now you've found out there's a few more and it's opened up a fresh yet old wound.
The thing is, this needs to be treated like before. You have to learn to trust him all over again. Which means patience, honesty, transparency and a hell of a lot of communication. He's refusing you so it's frustrating you and your feelings are going to fester. This will only get worse if he doesn't work with you here. He can't just bury his head in the sand. He made these choices to cheat …. now he has to face that dumb choice.
So…. what are the consequences and what are you going to do about it?
Why did you forgive him?
You aren't comfortable with the way your girlfriend is. Break up with her and find someone that is more “suitable” for your standards. You should never be in a position where you are trying to change your partner.
Please search for the lemon clot essay and show it to him!
I’ll wake her up
Update me!!
Nope.
There’s not much you can personally do besides getting a lock box for your snacks. I mean that is technically a solution but you shouldn’t have to do it. He needs to make the decision to change. And he will if he genuinely does feel guilty. The tears don’t mean much if he doesn’t follow an action plan.
There’s not much you can personally do besides getting a lock box for your snacks. I mean that is technically a solution but you shouldn’t have to do it. He needs to make the decision to change. And he will if he genuinely does feel guilty. The tears don’t mean much if he doesn’t follow an action plan.
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I don't think you understand autism.
If this were AITA, you would SO be the AH.
You basically typed out “I plan to end things with my GF of 3.5 years, but I want to do it when it’s more convenient for me. How do I alleviate my conscience about that while I use her until I’m ready?”
Answer – you don’t! And – I hope karma comes for you fast and furious.
You admitted that you’re doing it out of pettiness. Not cool.
You gotta think about what's best for you and what's best for her. It sounds like she's got a plan and a dream, and it's not fair to hold her back from that just because you're not ready yet.
It sounds like you need some time to process all this and figure out what you want. Give yourself the time you need to figure out what you want and what's best for you. You gotta do what's best for you, and if that means taking a step back and focusing on yourself, then do that. But also keep in mind that it's important to support her too, even if it hurts.
You also mention that she's planning on moving closer to her family and that you're worried about the distance between you. It's understandable that you're worried about that, but it's important to remember that distance doesn't have to mean the end of a relationship. If you guys love each other, you can make it work, but that's something you'll have to talk about with her.
It's also important to remember that there's a lot of unknowns here, and things may change. And the thing is, you don't have to have it all figured out right now. Just take it day by day and don't put too much pressure on yourself.
It's also a good idea to talk to a therapist or counselor, who can help you work through your feelings and figure out what you want. They can also help you work through any anxiety you're feeling.
Keep in mind that you don't have to make a decision right now, and that it's okay to take your time. Just remember that you'll get through this, it may take time but you will come out stronger.
And as far as her comment of “it's not over yet” and “I want us to stay together until I go”, there's no harm in talking to her more about what she means by that. And remember that anything can happen. You two can work through this together if you both want it to work.
She can have hobbies and social situations outside of our relationship – i’m not preventing her from doing so. She’s hanged out with friends outside of me plenty of times. I’m just using that situation as an example as to how stubborn/argumentative she can be to a simple requests she can just say no. If she doesn’t want to hang out with them, then that’s fine. However, she expects me to hang out with her other friends whom i dont really like – which is hypocritical.
Also, she and i can present facts all day – the difference is im 100% willing to have a calm and open, honest discussion and communicate. If she says something i dont like, i’ll either tell her that or have an open discussion about it.
She doesn’t approach convos like this. If i say something that might hurt her feelings (even though its not my intent), she usually resorts to yelling, swearing, stonewalling, even mild hitting in rare cases (yep, left that part out didn’t i – thats a 100% dealbreaker).
I also bring up her mom because she argues JUST like her mom. Her mom constantly shits on her husband, calls him stupid, tells him to shutup, dominates him/verbally abuses him, etc.
I dont let that happen to me so i argue back, but that goes nowhere – best thing to do is to break up IMO…
Exactly this.
If you’re only feeling this way because of the ingrained societal shame around women’s nipples? Maybe you can look in yourself as to why that is.
If it’s something else, then you need to know that and express that to her and why her nipples being on display effects you in a way she can understand without taking it as a “it bothers me, don’t do it” because it sounds like she’s removing barriers from her life after feeling controlled by her ex.
If you do come at this without having your thoughts figured out, she might react to it by coming to the conclusion you are incompatible and end the relationship before you figure out what your hang up truly is.
Have you asked her to stop?
The baby snatching and baby murdering carteles of Mexico will be waiting in the 5 Star resorts, as well as the many viruses and bacteria flying around the contaminated atmosphe of the Mexican country, it is well known that no country besides the upper class European countries are extremely unsafe to children, as children aren't born there anymore.
Lean into it? “Hey, I might sound high-maintenance over this, but I really am hurt that you didn't plan something sweet for us even after I told you I would love that. I'm happy to go do x with you, but in the future would you please make a super-duper romantic effort for me? I really like it.”
Maybe if he kept his dick out of random vaginas, you wouldn't have to contact the vagina owners to verify his bullshit. You aren't disloyal, he's a lying, cheating, manipulative jerk. Dump his ass.
Hun please don't get pregnant with this guy.
As others have stated this is a health issue. Ultrasounds aren't for wacky facebook posts, they're there to get an idea of what future you're looking at for your family.
If he thinks an ULTRASOUND is disgusting how useless is he gonna be the rest of the pregnancy? How utterly worthless is he going to be once the baby is there? Pregnancy, birth, and parenting are all gross adventures in getting waaaay too familiar with the human body and all its functions, including some I guarantee you didn't know before it had! There's blood, shit, mucus, clumps of flesh sliding out of you for weeks afterwards. I've caught vomit in my hands before, and I'm lucky it only happened once!
You do not want to go through this with someone so immature. I cannot imagine how I would have coped through that Hell without my husband and familial support. My husband had to regularly check my recently stitched back together crotch to make sure it wasn't ripping in half. He's had to help me clean poop explosions once the kid was out and in the world because babies are basically bio-bombs for the first year or so. You DO NOT want to go through all of this with someone who cannot handle even the most basic mundane steps of having a child with maturity.
Thank you so much.
“Hey I don’t mind going out in the rain, do you want to go get (blank)?”
Best wishes, I think you did the right thing.
Don’t date someone you don’t trust. You clearly don’t trust her.
Anybody who is that jealous over a plain, ordinary pillow needs some serious help.
I’m not even touching your suggestion that she was having an affair,
Is it not possible that she was, though?
I’m not even touching your suggestion that she was having an affair,
Is it not possible that she was, though?
Seems to me that your friend has a tough life.
Thank you! This is basically exactly what needs to happen after reading about it a bit more. I really appreciate you responding about the physiotherapy.
That she's a Free Spirit is information that she kept from you for only a few hours, so I agree that tactful handling is your best course. Like you, I am surprised that this fact wasn't revealed somehow over the preceding 6 months, but nothing in your post helps us puzzle that out.
Perhaps she thought you knew, UNTIL you left abruptly and walked home. She noticed soon enough, wondered, maybe asked, then puzzled it out, and apologized.
I’m not sure why I posted on Reddit, I think I just needed someone to tell me that I’m not a bad guy for this whole thing. In all honesty stranger, I feel badly about myself when I’m with her
It’s manipulative, but not in a malicious sense. Misinterpreting what you’re saying as opportunities to shit on herself it seems. Can frame this as concern for self esteem and self worth
Five things:
Feeling like this is completely legit. The opportunities you've had, you've had because they emigrated. They took themselves out of a familiar sphere, and put themselves into an unfamiliar one, at least partly to give you more opportunities. So accept that this is the cloud to your silver lining. This may well be the only way they know how to relate to you, since you are their child but you aren't entirely of the same culture that they are, so I suggest: Outsource. I'm assuming that you have a good education, a good job, and can afford a few luxuries (if none of this is true, lmk), so I'd suggest you hire someone to replace you. Someone who speaks their language of origin and is tech savvy; maybe a student who needs flexible, very part-time hours. Then tell them that them using you for help is destroying your relationship with them and your mental health, and you will be providing them with paid help. Tell them that once that starts, you will not help them with things anymore, so that the three of you can spend time together not doing household and administrative tasks. Then you can find other things to do with them. But REALLY put some effort into it: take them to movies, go to museums together, pottery classes, dancing, exercise and sport, arts, etc. Take them to a different restaurant every week for a year. Reset your relationship with them and make your relationship with them about discovering their “new” city/country.
My life has gotten a thousand times better since I outsourced the tech stuff (often simply to the Apple Genius Bar.) Fortunately, my parents were always competent with the paperwork.
Five things:
Feeling like this is completely legit. The opportunities you've had, you've had because they emigrated. They took themselves out of a familiar sphere, and put themselves into an unfamiliar one, at least partly to give you more opportunities. So accept that this is the cloud to your silver lining. This may well be the only way they know how to relate to you, since you are their child but you aren't entirely of the same culture that they are, so I suggest: Outsource. I'm assuming that you have a good education, a good job, and can afford a few luxuries (if none of this is true, lmk), so I'd suggest you hire someone to replace you. Someone who speaks their language of origin and is tech savvy; maybe a student who needs flexible, very part-time hours. Then tell them that them using you for help is destroying your relationship with them and your mental health, and you will be providing them with paid help. Tell them that once that starts, you will not help them with things anymore, so that the three of you can spend time together not doing household and administrative tasks. Then you can find other things to do with them. But REALLY put some effort into it: take them to movies, go to museums together, pottery classes, dancing, exercise and sport, arts, etc. Take them to a different restaurant every week for a year. Reset your relationship with them and make your relationship with them about discovering their “new” city/country.
My life has gotten a thousand times better since I outsourced the tech stuff (often simply to the Apple Genius Bar.) Fortunately, my parents were always competent with the paperwork.
Five things:
Feeling like this is completely legit. The opportunities you've had, you've had because they emigrated. They took themselves out of a familiar sphere, and put themselves into an unfamiliar one, at least partly to give you more opportunities. So accept that this is the cloud to your silver lining. This may well be the only way they know how to relate to you, since you are their child but you aren't entirely of the same culture that they are, so I suggest: Outsource. I'm assuming that you have a good education, a good job, and can afford a few luxuries (if none of this is true, lmk), so I'd suggest you hire someone to replace you. Someone who speaks their language of origin and is tech savvy; maybe a student who needs flexible, very part-time hours. Then tell them that them using you for help is destroying your relationship with them and your mental health, and you will be providing them with paid help. Tell them that once that starts, you will not help them with things anymore, so that the three of you can spend time together not doing household and administrative tasks. Then you can find other things to do with them. But REALLY put some effort into it: take them to movies, go to museums together, pottery classes, dancing, exercise and sport, arts, etc. Take them to a different restaurant every week for a year. Reset your relationship with them and make your relationship with them about discovering their “new” city/country.
My life has gotten a thousand times better since I outsourced the tech stuff (often simply to the Apple Genius Bar.) Fortunately, my parents were always competent with the paperwork.
No, it wasn’t. Just like if someone were to remove their condom when using it is an explicit requirement while having sex with someone else.
Consent was contingent on that agreement, she violated, without his knowledge, and the consent was revoked the moment she did.
No, it wasn’t. Just like if someone were to remove their condom when using it is an explicit requirement while having sex with someone else.
Consent was contingent on that agreement, she violated, without his knowledge, and the consent was revoked the moment she did.
No. That’s pretty fucked up to use your friend as a human shield. It’s also fucked up that you have to make a friend date another “friend” just so they’ll leave you alone. That’s not what friends do.
Yeah I usually bring those. Gotta start just using that for lunch. Thanks for the advice (:
Don’t compete. If you get into a contest on who has a right to complain, you’ll both just be miserable.
I’m assuming it’s the same complaint, pessimism, and struggle being presented to you over and over… sometimes people vocalize their problems as a way of coping.
That’s not a bad thing to do by itself, but if it’s excessive and focused entirely on one person, you can exhaust them and wear out your friendship.
Let her know it’s wearing on you. When it does come up, because that won’t stop it, give her a moment to spit some out and then try to reframe it into something constructive or suggest a different coping mechanism … how much time has already passed, the value of experience, potential solutions she can do herself, anything to break out of the rut she’s running you over in.
There is no test for men re: if they are carrying the type of HPV that causes cervical cancer. Just FYI.
Don't let him drive your car. Leave him he's abusive & dangerous. If he threatens to kill himself call to cops.
Yea, I’m not a doctor obv, but bipolar is 80% genetic. You should bring up the possibility of being bipolar w/ your psychiatrist and see what they think.
I got it from my grandfather sadly. Thing is too, theirs not a lot of trauma in my life, like I’d be a generally pretty healthy and happy person if not for this dumb dumb brain disease
I am a pretty awkward person. The only time I've ever gotten someone's number, I ran back to my partner thinking I made a friend. She went from mad->concerned->confused->empathetic. She had to explain that when a woman gives her number out, it isn't to be friendly, it's flirty. Friendly is more social media, and even then apparently women don't do that by themselves. I was shocked and became hyper vigilant, as I didn't want to hurt my partner, I wanted to respect her boundaries.
Giving my partners number as another redditor suggested seems like an awesome way to not make the situation weird, and if they do want to be friends, there is a crucial step, they gotta go through my partner first.
I have not had anyone offer their number since, but apparently, I'm also blind when it comes to most social cues. I'm so so so glad to have my partner in my life. Being who I am means I am open to a bunch of bs and deceit. I am too trusting, I love to help, I am a friendly guy, I struggle to understand facial expressions and body language, and I tend to experience a mondegreen when speaking to others.
The biggest red flag in the whole post to me is that
My husband is a jealous guy but I'm not friendly with other men (especially not enough to give my number out) and told him if the shoe were on the other foot he would have been pissed.
He shouldn't get upset if you have friends with guys. Trust is important. My partner has a couple male friends, and I'd never stop her from seeing them in a million years. Granted she had more male friends when we met, just like I had more female friends. We had to spend several months in the beginning helping each other weed the 'friends' out. But that doesn't mean either of you should be writing off the opposite sex.
You do you boo, without how the husband reacted we have no idea how he feels. He might be a scumbag dude where he thought he could juggle women or something, or maybe he is a naive idiot that couldn't tell when someone was flirting with him. Only you can guess, but only he knows(scratch that, he might be daft, I am)
I never said i was dictating i haven’t even told him half of the stuff that i wrote in this post
He’s still a kid. You’re right. It would be cool if your friends gave you a heads up I. The future if they’re including the barely legal crowd at a party, though.
Therapy.
Decide if this life for you or not so :
Either leave and be free but more responsible next time you have sex or stay and face the consequences of your actions. If you can’t live this life just leave and sign your rights off for the baby and gf.
How do you poke fun at them? Please explain and maybe tell us a funny joke about these things. I can't think of any. Btw humor has it's limitations and atrocious crimes, racism and bigotry belong to those limitations.