“Waking someone up with sex isn’t rape”. Unless they’ve explicitly discussed it before and come to an agreement, then of course it is. You can’t consent whilst your asleep and I would imagine she was in a state of shock when she woke up and realised what was happening, which he’s then used against her to claim that she did want it because she “succumbed”. She’s also saying he did things to do that they’ve done before but she didn’t like, and she told him that it upset her but he didn’t give a fuck.
I am in my 30s and have a very demanding job with lots of responsibilities and requires discipline and time management. If my SO just came and “checked me out” like a fucking school kid and talked about it with my boss behind my back and I lost an entire half day that I hadn’t planned on in the middle of professional crunch time, on top of being treated like I wasn’t an adult in front of my entire professional cohort for some sort of “best SO award show”, I’d be fucking furious!! Yeah, you’re damn right I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the afternoon off after being treated like a child.
There are men out in the world who see trans women as men and use the shock of being physically involved with a trans woman jolting and commit violence against them. That is why trans men and women need to be upfront. You never know how a partner may feel about being physical with a trans partner.
There is no possible way to make this work without you being honest with her. You’re miserable with his dynamic and she’s noticing. You don’t have to label yourself, just be honest about the fact that you don’t find topping to be a desirable thing for you. Lay all the facts out so you can both come to an informed and mutual decision.
Can you give one recent example?
“Waking someone up with sex isn’t rape”. Unless they’ve explicitly discussed it before and come to an agreement, then of course it is. You can’t consent whilst your asleep and I would imagine she was in a state of shock when she woke up and realised what was happening, which he’s then used against her to claim that she did want it because she “succumbed”. She’s also saying he did things to do that they’ve done before but she didn’t like, and she told him that it upset her but he didn’t give a fuck.
Yeah, I don’t know what OP is smoking…
I am in my 30s and have a very demanding job with lots of responsibilities and requires discipline and time management. If my SO just came and “checked me out” like a fucking school kid and talked about it with my boss behind my back and I lost an entire half day that I hadn’t planned on in the middle of professional crunch time, on top of being treated like I wasn’t an adult in front of my entire professional cohort for some sort of “best SO award show”, I’d be fucking furious!! Yeah, you’re damn right I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the afternoon off after being treated like a child.
There are men out in the world who see trans women as men and use the shock of being physically involved with a trans woman jolting and commit violence against them. That is why trans men and women need to be upfront. You never know how a partner may feel about being physical with a trans partner.
Shady
There is no possible way to make this work without you being honest with her. You’re miserable with his dynamic and she’s noticing. You don’t have to label yourself, just be honest about the fact that you don’t find topping to be a desirable thing for you. Lay all the facts out so you can both come to an informed and mutual decision.
I see what you mean, “secret” isn’t the right word. A “surprise” child is what I was trying to say.
Either way, it would still be a dealbreaker for many. They entered a relationship under false pretenses, whether it was intentional or not.