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Anna (brunette) and Luna (blond), 18 y.o.
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Online Live Sex Chat rooms Anna (brunette) and Luna (blond)
Date: October 11, 2022
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He is being rude, I wanted to defend him at first but insulting people regarding something that applies to you is passive aggressive at best, verbal abuse at worst. He also doesn't want you there.
I think you need to get yourself sorted and move out asap. I moved out as fast as possible despite being broke and having a friendlier home. Roommates.
Omg I'm so, so sorry OP
Maybe it's for a class project? He is probably collecting pics for a PowerPoint presentation.
He’s likely terrified you’ll go after him for child support. (Which you totally should.) He’s also just likely terrified in general because even if he’s not involved, he knows he’ll have a child out there somewhere and once he finds someone to settle down with, he’ll be terrified to be honest and inform her and he thinks she’ll leave him or something once she finds out.
Regardless of all of that, you need to take care of yourself physically and mentally so you can have a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby.
It’s totally within your right to ask him to stop contacting you and to even block him if he doesn’t stop.
You can also call the non-emergency police number in your area and ask to just ‘consult’ with someone. You can explain the situation and you can ask them to educate you on what you can and can’t do to protect yourself from him. You don’t need to give names or make a report, but someone should take the time to inform you of things just in case you would need to act in the future.
Hopefully he’s not the type of guy who will escalate and make very bad decisions like stalk you and such.
Also consider reaching out to an attorney. (The first appointment should be free) You can ask things like “can I still file for child support if I don’t put his name on the birth certificate?” Or “can he still be on the hook for support if he fully gives up his parental rights?” And things like that. That information might also be available at a Planned Parenthood or your doctor’s office may have a few people they can refer you to.
Do your homework and fully educate yourself. That will also help your confidence regarding this whole situation.
This never ends well. You had your chance. It may come round again, but right now, I think it's best you bite the bullet and keep silent about it. No one can know what would happen, but I'd personally rather keep a friend than risk losing them over feelings which could change in a months time. Whatever ever you decide to do though, do it all the way. If you stand by your convictions, you can keep your head held high regardless of the outcome.
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You have a difference of opinion. I tend to think that he is being ridiculous but my opinion doesn't matter.
How did you two resolve your difference?
And he is far enough from your school that I wouldn't expect him to make a ton of visits but he certainly should come up to see you once or twice during the term.
Go for what you want. But remember, A 30 year old woman is in a different place in life than you are with a lot more life and relationship experience than you. Keep that in mind because getting into a serious/ long term relationship with someone much older than you, and a couple of phases in life ahead of you, can impact your life in either positive or negative ways. More often than not, in my personal anecdotal experience and observations, the negatives outweigh the positives.
There is no reason this should make her or anyone else feel uncomfortable. And it just blows my mind how so many straight people view friendships with the opposite gender.
Gay men are friends with other gay men. Lesbians are friends with other lesbians. Bi and pan people do not exist in a friendless vacuum because we just can't help but bang everyone.
Personally, I don't know how you can date someone who doesn't trust you, and even more, I don't know how you can date someone who has such a double standard like it's okay for her to have male friends, but she doesn't like that you have female friends. That's not cool.
Not a big deal
I feel like there are so many variable's in life that if you concentrate on them too much, it just leads to inaction and ends up with bad relationship situations persisting for far longer than they should do.
I can't say anything for absolute certainty. But:
I do believe that the analysis of “maybe the GF just doesn't understand how her BF is being affected by all this”, is a conclusion that (IMO) does veer on giving benefit of the doubt too much. I do believe the husbands behaviour is already quite extreme. I also believe the husbands behaviour will escalate.
Re: the latter, I know its not nice to worry about the husbands behaviour worsening but given that there's a very real chance of it happening, I don't think that this prospect should be ignored either. Safety should always come first and I think this guy should be on the lookout. (If it were me), the day the guy was showering and then found the husband in his bedroom, would have been the day I would have packed my bags and left. And given that there's been no cessation in stuff like this, I do find it hard to rationalize hanging around to see what crazy thing is next going to happen (because you know it is).
I don't actually think the husband is going to change. I'm not gonna argue against the guy continue to persevere a bit further (his choice, and its only natural that he wants to save his relationship) but if I was a betting person, I'd bet $50 on those efforts coming to a fruitless end, because I think the husband has simply got so many deep-seated issues about the relationship, that expecting any real change is unrealistic. I think the GF also knows this too deep down that if she really presses her husband on this issue (and starts trying to lay down any ultimatums on his behaviour), she's just gonna provoke the hornets nest.
Its really hard dealing with stuff like insecurity, jealousy and possiveness. and this husband has got these issues by the truck-load. Even in someone who felt really incentivised to change themselves for the better, this sort of stuff is HARD work. And rather than seeing himself being in the wrong, I think its more likely that any pressure from the wife for him to change (especially if she threatens ending her relationship with him over the OP), is just going to turn the husbands feelings from insecurity etc into full-blown, unconcealed hate towards the OP.
I'm beginning to actually kinda feel sorry for the wife because the more I think about it, the more sounds to me like the husband probably wouldn't be happy & chill with any guy she brought back home and struck up a relationship with. It does sound like the husband only likes being polyamorous when it applies to him sleeping with lots of other people, and not when it applies to his wife having relationships with other guys.
Maybe both OP and the wife should leave this bag of issues husband.
Not wrong at all. Not only is she a crackhead but she lost your trust by hiding it.
He should have told you then that he was going to go for a walk with her. He has totally disrespected you and your boundaries but doing the one thing you asked him not to do. He needs to know that there are consequences to his actions.
Speed is important so that your current husband can find someone that truly loves being with him and not cause him pain.
I guess the relationship is damaged and near its end.
I would vomit if any of my male friends interacted with me like that. There is feelings there
But you’re probably right..
You’re so right that I gifted him something I’d like. I realize that the painting I made is exactly the kind of gift I’ve always dreamt of being giving and something I know my partner will never give me. I don’t think he’ll ever gift me so,etching so thoughtful, or handmade, or so emotional. He does show his love in plenty of other ways- he shows deep emotion and commitment to me plenty, but we’re long distance so when words and gifts are really the only way to express that, and he can never do that for me… it’s so hard. We won’t be able to be close distance again for four years. Is that even possible if our love languages can’t communicate in long distance? I love him more than I’ve ever loved anything but it hurts me so bad to be apart and we really really struggle to communicate unless it’s in person (nonverbal communication is so crucial to him). I’m having so many doubts about the relationship and it feels awful
Man, none of you trust your SOs. I’d let my wife go, who gives a shit? I trust her and I know she wouldn’t do anything. Hell, we’re neighbors with my ex and we are all very cordial. People need to sometimes express their emotions to close doors or to grow. If they cheat, there was never really any trust there. You’re reading too many fake Reddit stories.
Good friends are good, and you and your now ex-boyfriend's so-called mutual friends are all adults who can decide freely if you want to remain friends or not regardless of whether it was him who initially put you in contact with each other.
I think you're only asking this question because the break-up is still so fresh and therefore still so very much in the foreground of your mind. Is this really something you need to make a definite decision about right now though?
Right, this will end well
I shower before sex without being asked…
Dude. C’mon.
If you don’t tell him some girl in the future will find it and assume he is a cheating. The lingerie is a minefield that may blow up in his face.
Cowabunga? Are we in the 90s? Sorry to burst your bubble, dude, but I'm dealing with an evil turtle here, not surfing with the Ninja Turtles. But thanks for the nostalgia trip.
I didn't have an issue with her response, why do people keep saying that? I only said that I didn't agree and she didnt understand my point on the matter. It's a dumb question for alot of you all here because in your mind there is no need for hypotheticals and yes hypothetical are not needed, that doesn't mean I can't or shouldn't ask. It depends on the question and the person and your relationship with that person. Hypothetically speaking, would you have a house full of cats or a house full of dogs? A sports car or a motorcycle? Would you prefer to be yellow like a simpson or blue like a smurf? Obvious those are very tamed questions compared to the original. All that being said at least one person tried to see it from my end and I appreciate that.
Lmao, do you really believe that? Have you seen who is the winner in the current society? (Spoiler: it’s not the physical fit)
this isn’t post advice ??
Ugh no…
Why all of a sudden, after 10 years, have you decided to tell her?
I mean- the time to spare her the pain or avoid ruining a marriage has long passed. That opportunity was when you first learned he was getting married or in a serious relationship.
To me, TBH, this sounds like a move to actually break up his marriage so you can have him. Sadly, girl, this man does not want you. If he wanted you he would be with you. He isn't. Stop messing with married and unavailable men. Whatever you are telling yourself to justify it is a lie.
Leave him and his wife alone. Yes – he is awful. Yes – it would ruin is marriage. But you don't know what her situation is. If they have kids it will also destroy the life of his children.
Well, it ends in a type of happily ever after, but I'm not quite sure that your situation will.
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I need serious help and advice with this one as I’m so unsure on what to do. To give a very brief backstory I (25F) and my fiancé (27M) are engaged but it’s been rough for a while, we have about a year left until the wedding. We live 5 hours away from friends and family at the moment.
Something I think is helpful info, My partner had a traumatic childhood event which we have been working through over the past year. He tried therapy, anti depressants etc and he didn’t like any of it so currently he is not receiving professional help. He obviously due to this has very backward coping mechanisms and is extraordinarily immature when it comes to confrontation. I could go into all the backstory on this if someone thinks it will be helpful.
His parents also recently found out about this traumatic event and have been no use at all and victim blaming my fiancée and I feel terrible for him. So it’s safe to say he’s going through it right now.
However, I find myself every time we have an argument taking the high road, being overly understanding, staying very calm all because I feel bad for him. But he takes our disagreements to the extreme.
For example today, he took a cupboard off the wall because he said it needed sanding before painting, when I informed him I had already sanded it. He stormed off throwing the screwdriver saying ‘he can’t get 5 minutes away from me’ and goes and hides under a blanket chanting leave me alone for 7 minutes…. When he gave up and I was able to talk to him he tells me ‘he doesn’t like me’ ‘doesn’t know why he’s in a relationship with me’, tells me I’m boring and he hates me and doesn’t care about me and doesn’t care how I feel or how his words affect me.
This happens in some form or another EVERY time things don’t go exactly his way, I try to bring up something that might upset him or I don’t agree with him on something. It’s like a full on temper tantrum every time and sometimes he’s even mildly physical with shoving or pushing.
Now I know what you’re thinking, why the hell is she still with him but just try to see what I’m working with here. I feel like if I up and leave I’m just giving up on our home, our engagement and what if this is all just a result of dealing with his childhood trauma? He often tells me how much he hates the relationship in arguments yet he won’t ever leave? He always pretends and packs a bag and goes and sits in a McDonald’s car park then scuttles home when he realises I’m not going to call and beg for him back. He then comes back and tells me he didn’t mean anything he said and he’s so sorry and he’ll do better next time. And he has improved in a way as he use to do this pretty much every day and now we are probably down to every 2 weeks and I usually when he is tired (he works nights).
The other problem is im unsure if he is genuinely ever sorry. It’s like something comes over him and he switches personalities completely. He’s a dream when he’s being himself but when life isn’t going his way he swaps, could this be something to do with a trauma response? I don’t know if the nice him is a mask that he sometimes can’t help but to drop or if the bad him isn’t him at all and he can’t control it?
I know he needs help but he thinks he’s too good for it and I have no leverage of getting him there because I honestly feel if I disappeared tomorrow he wouldn’t care. Have I just let the bad him get in my head, my self esteem is on the floor? But I want to help him and I need to feel like I’ve done everything I can?
The kicker is, if I go a bit cold or start ignoring his tantrums and pretending they don’t bother me (even though they do) he gets super needy and affectionate and nice , I presume because he’s sweating that I’m getting serious about leaving? Do I continue to ignore the behaviour and will it then stop?
Someone help please without just a simple leave him, even just help me understand him…… any more info needed I’ll give
“Yours is perfect. Big ones hurt too much”…
Lol wtf. A good mom doesn’t do this to her family.
He doesn’t get to decide when you’re done.
Lol what is there for her to forgive? She isn't owed sex and acted straight up sexually coercive.
You fellas can go ahead and offer the least possible reasons, I’ll offer the most possible. Somehow we will help this man get hard again ??
What are you trying to say?