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Angelica, 47 y.o.
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Date: October 30, 2022
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He at least told her. He could have ghosted her. Stop with diagnoses. You aren’t a psychiatrist.
That’s you, but don’t you hear the lack of that same kind of understanding in OP’s post? His word salad, his obtuseness, his bad faith? His post is alarming and exhausting.
Your wife is doing the best thing she could, and you suggested an immensely stupid action. Attraction is just a bunch of chemicals in the brain, she is making a conscious effort to be loyal, and you decided to fuck whomever as revenge. Because that's what it's all about, isn't it?
Its possible but it will take some time. Dont try to push it. Realize how you will feel right now if she brings a new guy around. Take time to work to get your head and heart in the right place.
She's obv got some deeper issues, I'm sure she knows that wasn't rape but the denial has to be stronger than logic. My bf is an ex-mormon he told me about how much denial goes on in the church ESP for sexual things.
You didn't rape her. I personally would avoid this relationship as it's above your pay grade man. You can't force her to acknowledge her religious trauma, and she'll never admit it wasn't rape without acknowledging that trauma first. She has to want to see it, and only god knows when that will happen lmao
I edited to clarify that couples therapy might be beneficial. It seems that OP feels like he isn't being seen or heard by his GF. Since she trusts a therapist to make the call, bringing them both there might help him being seen and possibly addressing why the GF keeps internalizing her friends issues.
??
Yes, I sometimes would get into a game a for couple of weeks and play it daily, but eventually i would always get bored. I would say casual hobbyist is pretty spot on.
it's one of those problems that we only have in the moment when she's drunk.
Not really though. Her behavior when drunk is so bad it even ruins the mood when she's sober. You are so done with it you're considering to end the relationship. That's not a minor “in the moment” problem. Don't let her or yourself minimize it into that.
I would talk to her about what you told us. Heck, show her this post. She's risking the relationship with her misuse of alcohol.
Having a dog I feel is almost like having a kid, a massive amount of responsibility to care for a living creature that I don’t feel prepared for. She said it’s her dog and not mine but let’s be real, I’m not gonna live with her and not help out. But she’s forced that on me.
I agree with second paragraph
Thank you. I find it strange that she'd realize it so soon if she tried anything with someone.
Fuck that dude with a pike.
He doesn't even sound like a friend, but an insincere asshole.
If you read your post, and pretend the post was written by a friend, both that one and the original post you made up top, what would your advice be to her/him?
Man, I am going to be straight.
You need to fix your shit. You need to get your head together.
Otherwise, you are stagnating.
And you become soul sucking. The other person is struggling to swim and you are pulling them down too.
Let her go. Promise her you are giving your all to get better and do it.
Learn to swim.
I feel like you should defenetly wait until a couple month into your mariage to talk to her, I know it won't change much for you as you already live together but it seems that to her this is an important difference and I suspect she won't listen to you before. Then try to be empathic invite her over so that she can witness a peaceful mariage and talk to her about some of the good things in your relationship hopefully she will realize her relationship is not healthy.